Saturday, November 21, 2009

Pause.

I open my Facebook and immediately my eyes roll to the lower right part of the monitor screen. No notifications. Huh. Today's gonna be boring.

I click my mouse when it arrives on the "Friends" button. I thought, well, if nobody's interacting with me, I'll just have to start something up.

I scroll down the list of friends, some I'm not sure whom of, some faces are so familiar. I laugh once in a while when I see their ridiculous choice of profile picture. Then one name caught my attention.

"..... ........."

I couldn't say it. I can't take the risk. What if one of my schoolmates read this and tell him? Too risky.

I paused from scrolling. I stare at the name for a while. This was the name that I would write after "I <3" everytime I'm bored and have nothing to do. If there's no paper, my finger and the air is good enough. He was one of the worst crush I have ever had. 5 years....

No, I'm not gonna start. It's too much for somebody to read. It's just another diary entree, another 'letting-out-feelings' moment. And I'm not going to do it again. For the same person. For the hundredth time. Not anymore.

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