why does this always happen to me? and now during the school holidays even. just my luck huh?
Aminah is ignoring me more and more by the day. life's just getting worse and worse as he doesn't come online to save me. and my body is tiring out. it's so exhausted from all the drama or, really, not-so-dramatic life. it's aching all over. i wish i was back at school, but away from all the drama and closer to all the laughter. uhh, why can't i lead a normal life? i feel SICKENED. there are girls out there who don't think as much as i do, and still their blogs get visited EVERYDAY. it's just not effing fair.
WHAT am I doing WRONG in LIFE?
there i go again, thinking too much. but there's a reason. when i don't think, for instance, when i talk, something stupid or carelss would come out, and i could hurt somebody, or maybe make myself seem STUPID. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this.
here's to YOU. u know who i'm talking bout.
yea. i seriously did. but now u're bored with me, aren't you? that's why i said i don't have a best friend anymore. because u're GONE BABY GONE. I hope u're reading this, buddy cause YOU NEED A FEW WORDS FROM ME.
you got bored with me just like you got bored with the stinking SHL layout. so i'm just a layout in your life? i'm not even a Shout box? not even the blog archive? that's HARSH cuz you're my best friend. well, use to. because i'm not important in your life. JUST A DECORATION. just a LAYOUT to make it all pretty. i don't want to say F, because Adam Syafiq was right. I'M LIKE THE OLD YOU. I SAY F IF ANYTHING'S WRONG. well, I DON'T EVER WANT TO BE YOU. not the old you, not the old, not YOU, cause YOU SUCK.
or maybe it's just me. what's wrong with me? i'm just being me. does my blog bore you guys? do you want me to write like normal teens - just all the fun stuff that happened, and once in a while i put in a little drama, but mostly MY LIFE'S PERFECT ONLINE? well guess what? I'M NOT ABOUT TO LIE ABOUT MY LIFE. IT SUCKS JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE'S. only difference is I ACCEPT.
I'm me, and I write this blog to let go of my feelings. maybe you guys get bored of it, maybe my writing's not good, or maybe its not interesting enough, because I DON'T ADD SPICE. but well, its my blog. i could use a little appreciation. i don't want to tell everybody i know "read my blog, read my blog," but if i don't, why bother writing it and show all my feelings to the whole world? i write because i want people to read. BUT APPARENTLY IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. i'm not about to change it, really, i don't care how boring it is. i'm just letting it all go.
HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH. well. today's tafsir Quran then.
so Kak Janna did it. personally,i thought Alif wasn't interested. he sounded more like, "what's this hoe doing? gatalnyer eii. i don't have time to layan a bitch head who's brave enough to do this kind of stupid stuff." okay, maybe i'm exaggeratting, i would think that if i was him. but the 'gatalnyerr eii" is a possibilty. ;) Nothing really interesting happened. just a few outcast moments (yes, apparently i'm an outcast. but outcasts are COOL.) and aa few -ohemgee-his-hair-is-gorgeous moments at form2 guy a.k.a. Alif. MAN i'm useless. i really don't to go because of the company, but i want to go because of the knowledge. SERIOUSLY. oh well. life's like that, i guess.
OH and i'm trying out this quote thing, i want to try putting it on every post automatically, but so far i've failed. so for now i'm putting it MANUALLY. :)