Monday, May 31, 2010

first day hun. never really the best.

so I'm typing on my dad's laptop. first without permission but I guess he finding out and not really minding shouldn't really a big problem anymore.

just read cousin's blog. the ending kinda made it obvious that he was talking bout a sibling. huh. I guess I'm not alone.
maybe Bakmal's not lying, but.. well, he's hurting mom.
he used to hurt mom more, I know. I should be happy he's changed at least a bit.
now it seems like I'm the one hurting mom. I'm not trying to. Really.
I got this message from her once when she caught me using the computer (I'm a little bit on the honest side, well a lot, my lies are always white lies. If my mom asks if I'm using the computer, and I am, there's nothing to lie about.) and she sent me this message that said,

"Do not think you are better than Akmal because you are not."

well, that's part of the message but that was the part that hurt me most.
Who knew people would think that we think such things? and coming from mom, too. usually moms are right so, is it true? Do I think I'm better than Bakmal? Shouldn't I know myself? Well truth is, I don't.
out of all the bad things he's done, am I still worst than him? have I hurt mom more? I dunno. I dunno.
just proves how stupid people can be about the simplest things.

so during recess, I totally broke. everything started off normally. go to canteen, buy something, eat it. but after a while of hanging around, Nurin came. yes, Masnurin Nasuha. I would've been happier if she didn't ask about Lea, but then if so, then the only reason she would search for me anyway is to pour her heart out which she doesn't do to her other friends but me but somehow that makes me feel being used. But I just acted normally, like I would.

So we went back to class (Secret Club meeting canceled until Friday) but suddenly we took a different route, a familiar one, to the gallery.

when I saw Iman Razak I felt a rush of memories flowing in. It's not like it's been years since I came here for recess. It's just that I've been avoiding it, trying to take a different path like my other friends were, so hard that I felt like I was still in form 1.

I know it hasn't been long, but it feels so different now. Lea wasn't there, in fact Lea was the one who changed most, and we weren't happy. we were in the same class, we knew what was going on, we knew where to go, everything was just set, we just had to follow the flow. But this year, we had to make our own stories, pick up the pieces. Nothing was set from the beginning. we'd think that we were finally doing was right, but then we look the other way and think, hey, maybe it wasn't right after all, and we'd change directions immediately. why does everything have to be so hard?

So first we made a stop at the bench Iman was sitting. I asked Nurin is she was avoiding Iman and she was like, "Yea, but my stuff's with her so let's just go there first." so we did. then she started telling me a story, which I don't think Iman would like to hear (private private private) so I pulled her so that we'd start walking so that we could talk more openly.

so we made our turn to the Dataran when she was telling me about the exciting part when a prefect passed by the same corner. =_= man. then when she continued telling the story i was turning and twisting inside. I felt like rolling on the ground.

I never knew. I'm not alone. Why didn't she tell me earlier?

when we reacher the corner of the other end of the gallery, I pulled her back. we were walking in circles. I want to know more. I want to say more. there was more to be said. I felt like crying right then and there. then she said "the bell rung" so we went back to class.

I want to talk some more. Nurin, we gotta talk this out. I don't want to feel lonely anymore.


"None of it was worth the risk. You are the only exception." - Paramore

"Two harams doesn't make a halal." - Nadiah (Hanis's friend)

Thursday, May 27, 2010

offline post.

Reader discretion is advised.
Also advisable that non-Muslims do NOT read this.
Thank you for understanding.

So right now I’m blogging offline a.k.a. writing in words and later copy paste it into the blog. So just now I was making my Agama flash cards and as I was writing, I was thinking. Orang-orang yang kafir akan masuk ke neraka, kan?
So that includes my friends.
Just thinking about it makes me feel like crying. All my friends; Joy, Anesha, Li Qin, Xueh Wei, Eva, all those people… they mean no harm, and they’re going to hell? I mean I know they don’t believe in Allah, or beribadat kepada Allah, but they’re nice people. Orang-orang Islam tetap akan ke syurga selepas semua dosa dibayar, but these people don’t get any second chances. They didn’t choose to be born Christian or Buddhist or Hindu. If they now better, I know at least half of the kafir people would choose to convert to Islam. But their luck, oh my God, is unbelievable.
Like Ustazah said. One minute in the after life is like 1000 years here on Earth. I.. I don’t know what to say. I just want to cry.
If you guys remember, I once told you about me chatting with Core right? And one of the topics were about racist people on YouTube. I also told about this to Lea just now. See, there’s this video about “Draw Prophet Muhammad Day”. The first time I knew about this event was on FB, but I didn’t really take it seriously and just flagged the event and left. But when I saw the comments on the video – Fuck Islam, etc. (astarghfirallah) – I thought, this is serious.
As we all know, it’s totally unacceptable to draw Prophet Muhammad. Although I can’t explain why, but there is a reason. And even if you’re not a Muslim, that doesn’t mean you can just simply make this day. Have some respect. We don’t make “Let’s Tie a Man in a Circle instead of a Cross Day” do we? So please.
So I commented on the video “Why do you have to do this? Why can’t you respect us like we respect other religions?” and in 15 minutes I got 3 replies. Mind that I only wrote this by memory; I deleted the comments from my inbox immediately after I read it. I’m trying not exaggerate or over speak.  One said:
“It’s hard to respect a religion that gives death threats to people who want to draw Muhammad.”
Another said:
“And it’s also hard to respect someone who sends people to prison for having some free speech.”
The one I chose to respond to is this one:
“Let’s not forget that this religion also sent a woman to prison for a lifetime for bringing home a man.”
What I responded was:
“Well I’m sorry but I didn’t know all this was happening. But I’m sure that the woman was a Muslim, and if she was, then she would know that what she did was wrong. And if they put someone who did something wrong into prison, wouldn’t that be making other people stop doing wrong? And wouldn’t that make less people going to hell?”
The response I got was about me believing in “myths” like hell and God. But that’s a whole different topic on humanity so I’m not gonna touch on that. But man, I feel so bad. This thing that’s happening, what people are speculating of Muslims, what Muslims are doing to stop people from doing wrong. It seems like the worst thing humans can do, but if you think about it, maybe it’s the only thing they could do. But it makes us seem like were the bad guys, when the only reason you would think we’re doing bad is because you’re jahil (that would be stupid, but in a more exact way, clueless of the Islam way) and you wouldn’t admit it. I mean, I don’t make bad speculations on how other religions live. I make a good reason for everything they do, but I don’t follow it. I stick to my principles. Anyone can do it, if they have the right heart.
But back to the first thing, I know my friends are not like this. They respect Islam, and even if they don’t really, at least they don’t go around saying “Fuck You” to every Muslim they see or anything. These people who make these speculations are stupid adults and Americans (give me the freedom of speech the way you used it to tease our religion). They think they’re so smart well, think again. There’s more to the world then you know. It’s a part you don’t know and I know, even for a 14 year old kid. Please. Stop what is happening.
P.S, Have YOU ever felt like you know something bad is happening, going to happen or happened, but you can’t do anything about it? Shout. Thanks.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

don't even.

so since I was cut off from Internet connection totally yesterday, today I get a chance to go online until before ten :D and since I wasted my first 30 minutes on stupid stuff (curse you FB), I'm gonna make this very simple... categories :D so you can pick which ever title you like from the below that seems interesting to you and you can just read that instead of having to read all the boring stuff to get to the good stuff :)


this will most probably get the least readers. so, so far I've been studying a lot of Sejarah XD NO MORE B FOR SEJARAH. but thing is... I haven't studied Agama :O *die* its like, on Monday and going to Terengganu on weekends and and and ... well I'm gonna start tonight then :) even though I'm stil not getting Bab 5 for Sejarah.. let's move on :)

those are the hard ones. now to brag on how much I don't care for Science cuz I'm so acing it :)


sorry I was a bit ego there. I just HEART Science isn't the most interesting subject in the world?! don't get me wrong I mean, it's not like Sejarah's NOT interesting it's just hard to understand. have you ever had a sudden urge to read a Sejarah text book like a story book and see if you could understand it like you do normal story books? yea it doesn't work. I wish they made it into a comic or something. I mean it doesn't have to be funny, like I still love romantic slow comics where you'd most probably sleep half way. if that happens I'd just continue reading when I'm NOT sleeping (isn't that totally obvious). okay back to studying.

Maths? well. I love doing it. I just hate it when I get a wrong answer.

enough bout that for now. I'm running out of time.

The Secret Club

well one thing for sure is that the theme song is Secrets by One Republic X3
President : Proudly, me :)
Penolong : Azi
Members: Ain
Nurin Amalia

so what the f*** do we do?
we trade secrets :D
everyday during recess at 9.45 a.m. we see each other at the corridor between 2E and the cabin classes. also known as club meeting. everyone has to trade a secret everyday. no secret? fine. no problem. :) but NO LIES, NO EXAGGERATION, NO LYING THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A SECRET. and club is full :) sorry.

Holiday Outing Plans

I know I should really concentrate on studying, but somehow I got caught on searching for open MEPs. Maybe I'm just getting ready for the two week holidays. which brings us back to the topic.

So I've been planning outings for the holidays. Even though I'll be busy with family trips and shizz, I'm still trying to squeeze in anything I could :)

So during Seni last Tuesday, Aziemah invited us to a "rombongan" (we SO have to polish Aziemah) and we decided it was a good idea. But she doesn't even know what FB is. No, no she has a Facebook account but she doesn't know the short form - FB.

So let's just skip to Science today.

So I was planning we could -- 
So study for exam eh?
Uhh ye cikgu x3 *snickers*

So during English we continued making plans x3

Lea, Laila and Aziemah outing - they were planning 17th June but then we're going to Cameron then.

Old and New friends outing - planning to meet up with Hanis and others. although this is my own plan, I didn't really ask them. I was thinking if I could even meet up with Hanis's friends from her school like Bat and At and Core. But I don't really know.

K-On! Marathon - with Suaidah at her house x3 this is a must. just have to pick one or two days when we watch K-On! non stop :DD

Chores 4 Cash :D - Every morning I'll do something like sweep the floor or vacuum the carpets or wash the toilet (hopefully not this one though) so that I could get RM5 a day 8) that's the money for the outing. although surely Ayah will give me RM10. but I'm not sure if that's enough.

Another Outing - this is just an extra plan, just in case one of my other outings weren't a success. So I was planning with Joy or maybe Eva and others...? I dunno. just someone. Azra pun boleh :) oh yea Laila said she's having an outing with Vie and others. maybe I could just join them. ... ... I dunno anymore.

Umar Mikail's Blog

that's my nephew. this is his blog. even though he is 4 months old, he has a blog and an email. bagus betul.

visit. don't visit. you can even visit just to see pictures, up to you :)

reblog. via Eva's blog. somehow.


p.s, the blank part just highlight it. I dunno how to make it go back to it's original colour.

Monday, May 24, 2010

study study stu-- maybe later.

really starting to wonder if it was worth ditching my studying to "check my email". grr. tomorrow, gotta be SERIOUS. no more time meh. Weekends -- wait, cross that, HOLIDAYS (which means including FRIDAY) going to Terengganu T.T i know I should be happy but the timing is just plain wrong. seriously I just let my book sit on my lap while I read Yen Fern's blog. the old posts. including the Korea one which must've been like, what, late last year? gosh. I was about to click "older posts" when I was realizing what I was doing - procrastinating.

conclusion - the Internet is a dangerous place. at times like this, I wish mom would pull out the Internet and let me suffer then let me be free now and suffer later.

well. that doesn't change anything. I could say "I studied until 2 a.m." and I did but not really concentrate because I'd be sleepy, but I'd like to take that risk. just to pay back the time I wasted on the computer.

it's 12 already. I think I should most probably go now. bye. again.

Out. Again. Oh Gosh I'm So Sorry. Just Kill Me. And Wish Me Luck in Life. I Need It.

for eva.

I found this at one my friend's from Samad's pictures, and i thought EVA WOULD TOTALLY USE THIS so here you go. I dunno whom to tag so I just give it to you ^ ^

just click on it to see a bigger image ;)

p.s, I like the last one XD
go out with me or die.

rasional vs. lust.

I laughed when I read Eva's blog. she said she read mine and felt lost. XD

mind all the tigers. she thinks it's cool. even her FB profile picture's a tiger.

so today wasn't that good. was kinda emo. I bet Laila would've noticed. but then again, who knows what other people noticed? maybe I've missed out on something, and I'm not realizing it until now? who knows.

Mondays had always suck anyway. assembly? usually Lea would try her best to stick with Nurin and the gang, and if I joined in, even better. but I found Lea sitting with Nadiah. Nurin haven't came yet at the time. I went to the hall with Dina, but somehow it was different. she didn't say anything, I didn't say anything. In my mind, today I was going to make a difference. little did I know.

The assembly was really short, most probably because there's nothing much to talk about. it IS the exam season. no more wasting time. Sivik we did the undian. 7Up won. XD congrats guys. the thing I'm expecting most from your manifesto is the tutoring part. Qian Rui, you gotta tell me how you can be the top of form 2!!! like seriously!!!

"It's PRI!!!"
And with that a loud chatter and laughter followed, later a demo of the fan page "Laughing so hard until I clap like a retarded Seal" on Facebook came like ripples by the beach.

I was hoping during recess I was a little hype so that I could do the thing I wanted to do a.k.a. the difference. but somehow, I managed to make myself down without having a reason to be. I ate a bun, sat next to Ain and Dina and that was it. Left. then I told Dina how I wanted to make difference today (like the post before, I told Dina, but I don't know if she counts). Then Ain started asking "what? what is it?" and like I swore, I didn't tell her. so we kept it to ourselves, teasing Ain on how she can't be trusted with secrets X) i can't believe I forgot she told me Dina's little secret about ehem ehem XD

later we met up with Azi, and Ain went "Kitorang pun ade secret gak en?" and Azi went "Yang mane? Banyak secret you kat I" and so it was war >:)

LOL: "HEY GUYS i nak britau you guys a secret jangan britau sesiape tau.. Ain ade banyak secret XDD" (Azi)

I just posted it on my blog babe, it's no secret no more :P Li Qin was with Azi and when we started about secrets she went away like "Secrets? COUNT ME OUT" lol

so later bla bla bla ya di ya di ya da BALIK. wow mom just called and gave me a lecture through the phone. how much more to the maximum can you go? although I think it's safer through the phone cuz they can't see you roll your eyes. but it does hurt the ears. but cuz I love me mommy i'm gonna stop now 8) bye peeps.


Sunday, May 23, 2010

airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars.

I'm really trying to change it, but I can't. sigh. I just can't.
come on. talk to me. make my life easier. if only I could use telepathy. sigh.

cuz when you make your life complicated, you're the only one who can make it simple again. even if you didn't ask for it, you still caused it, and you can't blame anyone, even that person. you just have to accept and, if you hate it, try your VERY HARDEST to stop.
Am I trying to stop or accepting?
it seems a lot like I'm accepting. But if people knew what I'm accepting to, then I would be a total outcast.
even if that doesn't matter as much. I know it would still suck.

Let's recap on people I've told...

1. Joy. I told her even before she was my best friend, before ma and Hanis just .. poofed. because I didn't know if I could tell Hanis. and Joy was really making me feel better, bit by bit, so I told her. and that's what I meant when I posted the picture of our conversation. tell each other everything. I told her everything. I still am telling her everything.

2. Suaidah. I guess it was because she was telling me about how hard it is to be Penolong Ketua kelas of 2B. she was there with me, and then we were busy with the Blue kawad and so she was there, and I can depend on her to be there. so I told her. and apparently, soon after, she told me her secret. It was a little trade, no one tells no one.

3. Lea. I trusted her. I didn't want her to know at first, and we promised each other two years after we'd tell each other the secret we're keeping from each other but apparently I couldn't hold it. she hasn't told me hers. I'm not forcing her to. I know not all secrets can be told. Plus I think she told Ms Foo, and that's a little better than telling a friend, actually.

4. Cynta. We were bonding through Japanese and so I told her. well actually she pretty much figured it out herself but still. I told her. I was so stupid to. Now I know the plan can never go well. Well t can, but a small part of it. A part where she's not needed. it's a mistake to tell her, but through her, I knew a little bit more then I did.

5. Dina. It just came out. another mistake, but I don't think she took it so seriously. plus there was a small lie I inserted into the secret, or at least a part I didn't tell, so I guess she doesn't count.

6. Nurin. She came up with the topic, actually. She told me that Farah Aliah asked her something, which I asked her back, cuz there's a possibility she lied to Faliah, and she did. and so I told her. she was cool with it.

7. Falonnie. She was surprised with it she started asking a million questions about it. I was getting tired and annoyed but soon she just didn't touch on it anymore. but then we went to the library and I was teasing her and she started threatening me. sheesh. but later we got even, she showed me her four ex-boyfriends back in Sabah. three Chinese, one Malay. the Malay one was really cute X) but I don't see why she told me to keep it a secret. 

8. Nadhrah. I don't even know why I told her. I guess I just said I was in a big mess that might ruin my whole life mentally and she asked me what. "to die or not to die" was what we were playing. she was giving out a couple of those and I said yes at the correct (well, similar) term. so she started guessing who. she went all "long hair? braces? glasses? pinafore?" and all those. it was fun. and I finally just told her, sort of. she didn't know who it was at first but then. but then.

9. The latest one, Anesha. she was kinda angry, I don't know why, maybe terrified or even sad or annoyed or something. I told her through a paper conversation, and when I gave her the name, I looked at her and she was staring at the name. she was starting an argument but I didn't want anything to spill, so I gave her the paper again and we started discussing about it. she was really angry. she told me to stop, stop. there was even a lol part when she wrote HUGE in her book "FORGET" and I was like, "well it's hard to forget" and Tammy was curious and said "Forgive and Forget :D" and I was like "=.=' there's no forgiving in this matter or forgetting."

and that's it. I cannot tell anyone else. I swear I will NOT tell anyone else. nine is enough. enough. I gotta solve this problem before it gets out of hand. I gotta.

Out, Lynnie.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

how to decsribe a guy.

easy going, laid back and casual. that's the three best words to describe guys, no matter the interest or personality.

I had fun last night, chatting with Harith -- I mean, Core :P All my problems sort of just kept stored in a little shelf at the back of my heart, and right now I'm just playing with my checkers, those other complicated games was left to dust. It felt good to not deal with emotions and care for a while, after weeks of thinking "my life is a girl's school life, therefore I deserve all this complications". Plus, you can't consider the people who look like guys at my school are guys, cuz technically, they're not. No matter how boyish they get, they're still girls with a girl's heart and emotions and brains (therefore smarter too, hahaha joke).

What's nice is that even though I told him I had a rough day, but it might've seemed normal to anyone else, instead of trying to solve the problem (therefore making things a whole lot more complicated) he made me laugh instead. And instead of going on about one thing, we moved from one thing to another. I think we talked about several topics from blog templates to the funny picture he showed me to stupid racist people on YouTube to MVs. it was so awesome to talk about something you're interested in with someone who's interested in it too. Even though our MVs are different (his being from RuneScape, mine from Kingdom Hearts), we still had effects and songs to talk about. I felt good.
I remember one day I was telling someone, no one in particular, cuz if I say Lea she couldn't even really care less, "I wish I had someone to talk about editing videos with." well, wish come true. :)

really what bothers me most is that I didn't end it. Ayah took the modem away before I could say bye. I was trying to get it back, fighting, saying "Jap, Elyna cakap bye jer kejap," but then Ayah's hand was raised up to the air and that was queue to stop. I feel bad for Core. He doesn't even know what's happening.

question, what's narcissism?

and YOU. are you talking to me? I'm not sure cuz you didn't use my name like I did mine. If you WERE talking to me, you didn't answer my question.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you stayed?

and the other you. well right now I can't handle you cuz first, I'm hiatus-ing on FB therefore no more ways to contact you. And second, I doubt you even open your FB on weekends, but who knows. I'm still wishing things are different though.

what WOULD have happened if Hanis stayed?

I would most probably have somewhere to sit during recess - with, obviously, Hanis. I'd have pals in my class but no matter what priority would be Hanis. Then Hanis has friends too, most probably with Kai. She could have been the now-Nazureen, who knows? Then we start not hanging out with each other anymore. Maybe just during recess, but sooner or later we'd stick to our classmates.

Hmm. The thing I couldn't get off my mind is that Hanis's classmates (she was in 1 Damai, I keep forgetting to ask ex-1D's if they remember her) would be Eva, Iman and Sabrina. and Dharani and Ain and Dina. and Kai and Nazureen and Santra and Jing Kai. not forgetting Lavynia, the Rock Lee-look-a-like. These people don't remind me ANYTHING of Hanis (except Kai, she reminds me of how care-free Hanis was with popular people) She could've even be a prefect. wow. There were no prefect probies from 1D last year. they were totally free, until the special batch came (this includes Kai, Xueh Wei, Arshvina, Santra) she could've became a special batch, too. Oh man there's so many possibilities.

Form 2 - totally went separate ways. well that's just a hypothesis. but life is unpredictable. and SHL maybe would have never been created. Maybe we'd still be writing in a testpad, passing it around. who knows?

our road has been redirected, and now we can't turn back and see to make changes. what has happened happened, and yet I'm still thinking like I could change something. well I can't, and I have to face that. sigh.
I wish I had the power to twist fate. Hanis never had to move to Ampang. Never had to change anything. Najiya never went to boarding school. Neda came to Sri Aman, not Assunta. But these fates, what if it made these people not happy? What if they were glad with whatever they got, and changing it would be a total disaster?
The I wouldn't change anything.


Friday, May 21, 2010

[ t h e o c e a n ]

my latest video :D

gut feelings.

sigh sigh sigh.
die human being that has made my life more complicated, and return with a different appearance. :)
I know you're a nice person, everyone has said so, and the only way for me to forget is to hate you, and Anesha said problem is, you're a nice person.
so that will be impossible.
huhuhu but then again if you die i'll cry. :'(
don't die don't die don't die.
okay, all I need you to do is start the conversation :) then i'll be happy and I won't have to waste my time worrying about anything anymore :D

i might sound happy go lucky my heart feels like it's a lump in my chest and my eyes feel heavy with tears but it just won't come out. why must this happen to me?

Hanis Syahira, why did you have to go to Ampang? I know you've had a good life so far, but if you were here... if only you were here... i miss you la babe. I hope you're reading. I hope you haven't forgotten about me or have realized how boring my life is and skipped out on reading anymore of my posts. I mean, I know you don't exactly like all those videos I post, you'd prefer it if I posted a hot Korean music video BUT but I'm sorry but I'm not that type. :(
Question : Have you ever wondered what would've happened if you STAYED?
I know you don't have your laptop this week and your exam's next week so, please reply as soon as you read this.

and with that, I finally start a HIATUS. on blogging only, FYI. maybe Facebook too, I can live with that. but not YouTube. Definitely not YouTube.

I take that back. Hiatus on FB ONLY not Blogger or YouTube :) can't live without my blog. Hafizah can do it, so can I! :D

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Cagayake! GIRLS

SO KAWAII apparently there's no embed so

Cagayake! GIRLS

Chatting Now
With grace we have a noisy and Never Ending Girls Talk
We cant wait for the final bell!
Although were late, skipping school is a No no no!
With all our might, well Study After School

My excitement wont stop! Thoughts go at Full Throttle!
Wrap hope, desires, and passion with a ribbon!
Gather all the materials and immerse yourself in the New Type Version!
The book prohibited from the guys are our diary of Love!

If we shorten our skirts by 2cm, we can fly
futher than yesterday, higher than the day before yesterdays Octave!

Jumping Now
With grace we have a wonderful Never Ending Girls Life!
We must be serious everyday or our Live will be now or never!
Although you wake up early, sleeping early is a No No No!
With all our might were shouting Wasshoi!
With grace we have a wonderful and Never Ending Girls Song!
Bring on afternoon Tea Time!
Even with unrequited love, with honorable defeat Here We Go!
If we sing well be Shining After School

Are we living too relaxed? We have trouble everyday!
Differential and Integral Calculus are supplementary, so no love for now
I sing for two hours, my stomach is a fourth dimension.
Oh no! Suddenly Im limitedwait was written in my secret book.

I cut 3mm from my hair bangs and saw it,
although my test paper is completely white, its ok if my future is Rose colored right?

Chatting Now
With grace we have a noisy and Never Ending Girls Talk
We cant wait for the final bell!
Although were late, skipping school is a No no no!
With all our might we Study to Enjoy!
With grace we have a wonderful and Never Ending Girls Song!
Bring on afternoon Tea Time!
With an unusual Chord Here We Go!
If we sing well be Shining After School

Well infinitely loop it!
Size down up down up,
but our mood is always
up up up & up!
Gathering just for smiles,
and singing only for happiness
it fairly echoes tenderness to the world!

Jumping Now
With grace we have a wonderful Never Ending Girls Life!
We must be serious everyday or our Live will be now or never!
Although you wake up early, sleeping early is a No No No!
With all our might were shouting Wasshoi!
With grace we have a wonderful and Never Ending Girls Song!
Bring on afternoon Tea Time!
Even with unrequited love, with honorable defeat Here We Go!
If we sing well be Shining After School

Shining Shinier Shiniest
Girls be ambitious & shine

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

kami hanya merancang.

how can i say this without making me look bad?
okay I can't.

 totally blew my studying plan.

my Studying Plan:
-Finish homework before 6
- sleep if there's extra time before 6
- study japanese after Maghrib
- watch K-On! at 11
- sleep at 12.

what I  actually Did so far:
- eat while watching television until 4.30
- go online until 6
- start doing homework until now (Maghrib) and it's not done.

I've decided to DITCH my homework for Japanese since Japanese is TOMORROW and I don't have any deadlines so I'm safe so far.
hopefully everything will go better after this.
wish me luck.

xo, Lynnie

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

don't say lazy.

title : Don't Say Lazy
Artists : Toyosaki Aki, Hikasa Yoko, Satou Satomi, Kotobuki Minako [Sakurako K-ON bu]

Lyrics japanese :
Please don't' say You are lazy
datte honto ha crazy
hakuchou tachi ha sou
mienai koto de BATAashi surundesu
honnou ni juujun chuujitsu honrou mo juujuu shouchi
zento youyoudashi...
dakara tama ni kyuukei shichaundesu
kono me de shikkari misadamete
yukisaki chizujou MA-KU shite
chikamichi areba sore ga oudou
hashoreru tsubasa mo areba joutou
YABA tsume wareta GURU- de hoshuu shita
sore dakede nanka tasseikan
daijina no ha jibun kawaigaru koto
jibun wo aisanakya hito mo aisenai

Please don't say You are lazy
datte honto ha crazy
nou aru taka ha sou
mienai koto ni PIKKU kakusundesu
souzou ni isshoukenmei genjitsu ha zettai zetsumei
hatten tochuu dashi...
dakara fui ni PICCHI hazurerundesu

sono me ni utsuranai dake datte
yaruki ha ME-TA- furikitte
itsudemo zenryoku de yumemite
sono bun zenryoku de nemutte

YARI choi yaseta choushidzuite kuutta
sore dakede nande? haibokukan
sukasazu ni mokuhyou kahou shuusei shite
juunan ni rinkiouhen shichi henge ga kachi

Please don't say You are lazy
datte honto ha crazy
kujaku tachi ha sou
kokozo to iu toki bi wo miserundesu
gouzouroppu manshin maishin ganbou ha soushin reijin
yuuwaku tahatsu dashi...
dakara yake ni ishi kudakechaundesu

YABA masaka Red Point!? iya GIRI KURIA!
sore dakede nante zennoukan
daijina no ha jibun mitometeku koto
jibun wo yurusanakya hito mo yurusenai

Please dont' say You are lazy
datte honto ha crazy
hakuchou tachi ha sou
mienai koto de BATAashi surundesu
honnou ni juujun chuujitsu honrou mo juujuu shouchi
zento youyoudashi...
dakara tama ni kyuukei shichaundesu

Lyrics English translation :

Please don't' say You are lazy
because I'm actually crazy!
The swans, that's right
what you can't see is that they thrash about when swimming!
I'm obedient and loyal to my instincts, I'll even accept being made fun of!
A bright future is offered to me...
that's why I take a break once in a while.

With these eyes I'll confirm
my destination and Mark it on my map!
If there's a shortcut, that would be easier,
if there's are wings to make it even shorter, it would be great!

Damn! I broke a nail, so I fixed it with glue.
With that I somehow I got a feeling of achievement.
The important thing is to love oneself,
if you don't love yourself, you won't love other people.

Please don't say You are lazy
because I'm actually crazy!
Skilled hawks, that's right,
they hide their talons!
I try hard to imagine it, but reality drives me up into a corner...
I'm midway to development...
that's why I suddenly go out of pitch.

It won't be projected in my eyes because
my Motivation breaks the Meter...
I always dream with all my power,
but in return, I sleep with all my power
I lost a bit of my excitement, I ate...
Why did that happen? I feel defeated...
Without any delay, I lower my own objectives.
I'm flexible enough to Kabuki dance will win!

Please don't say You are lazy
because I'm actually crazy!
The peacocks, that's right,
they say This is it! when they are enchanted by beauty!
I struggle and push for my whole body to lose be a beauty,
though, there are lots of temptations...
that's why I desperately break my will.
Damn! Don't tell me...a Red Point!? No, barely cleared it!
With that I feel omnipotent!
The important thing is to accept oneself,
if you don't forgive yourself, you won't be able to forgive other people!

Please don't' say You are lazy
because I'm actually crazy!
The swans, that's right
what you can't see is that they thrash about when swimming!
I'm obedient and loyal to my instincts, I'll even accept being made fun of!
A bright future is offered to me...
that's why I take a break once in a while.


this morning i had everything planned out - I'm gonna go with the flow, finish my Sejarah notes during recess and other homeworks during English. but English was right after recess so no homework before (except for Agama notes, but never mind that) and I didn't have enough time to finish Sejarah notes during recess so I think you could guess what I did.

during Science before recess I had SUCH a headache. Khairin was asking for the RM10 for Teacher's concert and Amirtha was asking for my Sejarah notes and I found out Pn. Lily came and I didn't bring my artwork and was like

*do Science wuestions* *finish* *pass out*

no, I didn't sleep, i just closed my eyes and tried to relax. but I COULDN'T KYAA DX

then we discovered we were having our second dosage of the vaccine today. great.

during recess I went to the library and found Idah. she told me bout SuJu's new music video "Bonamona"? I'll search it when I get back home. she says Kyuhyun looks hot in it. can't wait x)

the injection was... a bit more painful then the one before. the needle stayed a little longer then it did before. and we got Choki Choki instead of lollipops and vitagen X( tak best.. but the nurse that was signing our paper thingy signed some cool some awesome and some okay. she was like, "You're cool!" to me and I was like, okayy, "Thank you". then when we got back to class, Cik Shatirah was inside. I could just hear the thunger and lighting booming from somewhere.

during Seni I totally died mentally. then during Sejarah we were doing PATS and I totally sucked so I decided to bring it back home :) so I decided to do my maths, when I looke at the clock "OMG IT'S ALREADY 1.45" so never mind. Tammy was KLLING ME MENTALLY (even though I already died mentally just now) WHAT FIVE?! OMG I WANNA KNOW!!! and the clue you gave me didn't exactly help, neither =.="

okay, gotta go now, and study Japanese and finish Agama notes and Sejarah PATS! X)

xo, Oh I Dunno, Who Do You Think? ;)


Monday, May 17, 2010


it ended with me feeling rejected.
the person who made me laugh very hard today was someone I barely knew. (you were my nose when I couldn't smell)


Hafizah could write her hearts out in long paragraphs and small fonts and still keep me going. I wonder if I'll say something totally irrelevant and silly, or something that people would never read?
well, apparently if life was a game like Sorority Life, then I could've mastered Gold or Platinum in Mind Blogging. So I think I shouldn't waste my time. Instead, I'm gonna go watch a bunch of videos that will inspire me to edit videos soon after that :)

xo, Lynnie

p.s, "My day was spoiled because of this camera." my day was spoiled because of you.

Sunday, May 16, 2010


Laila Syahira
u esok bawa buku ke?
ofc not!
Laila Syahira
i tanya u tanya i
sebab dia x ckp ngan jelas pun
x eh?
rasenyer la :):)
i x bwk punye..
Laila Syahira
u bagi hadiah per :D:D
Laila Syahira
lupa ke?
ha ah.. :'(:'(
Laila Syahira
i yang ingatkan ke ni?
ha ah XD
Laila Syahira
habis tu maksudnya dah siap hw lah kalau lupa esok teacher's day?
ingt ade celebration x blajar
tapi x ingt nak beli hadiah XD
Laila Syahira
owh hw x yah buat inagt :P:P
XDD biaselah manusia
Laila Syahira

Saturday, May 15, 2010

[ someone once told me .. ]

Have I ever posted this before? well, Even if I had, never mind. It's such a good video it doesn't matter how many times I post it :)

Story too long, I know you wouldn't read it.

I [ a m ] n o t h i n g - w i t h o u t - [ y o u ]

Sora and Kairi made a promise together. That they would always be together and that they would never 4get eachother. Sora cherished this promise and told himself he would follow it 2 the end. Sora and Kairi found themselves in need of this promise when they were suddenly seperated. Kairi went back 2 the island while Sora dissapeared.
With memories of their seperation fresh and only just setting in his mind he vowed he would find her nomatter what. Then he meets a girl being controlled by an evil organisation that misunderstood her power over Sora. She could tear apart memories - undo the links and chains of his heart. She was told 2 replace memories of a red haired girl she never met with her... And so she did wut they sed. After succeeding in her deseption she began 2 grow guilty and so her powers weakened uncontrolably. Sora snaps out of this trance and is disgusted with himself 4 mistaking her 4 KAIRI. He sets out to continue his search then... HE FINDS HER. She has long redish hair and wears a pink dress. She luks so much different than the Kairi he remembers but he recognised her. IT MUST BE HER he thought to himself. IT HAS 2 BE.
But when he speaks his words she replies . "Who are you?" His heart sinks. "I looked EVERYWHERE 4 u" ... Maybe it wasn't her? No. But it HAD to be. His heart told him so. She broke her part of the promise so that means he could break his right? Thoughts of confusion,sadness and anger befalled him, engulfed him. He walks away and the girl screams "DON'T GO!"... Sora tries 2 bury his memories... FORGET. But he couldn't just forget about this girl. She was special to him. Meanwhile Kairi thinks about this boy that approached her for a long time. One part of her recognised him and made her heart skip a beat but... Who was he? What's his name? She writes a letter 2 him, in a desperate attempt 2 find him and meet him again. She speaks about it 2 Selphie . This letter in a bottle the girl threw in the ocean reached Sora just as she wished. He was behind a door... A Door to darkness. He reads this letter and just about forgets all the negative feelings inside him, and because of this the door opens. After being motivated by this letter they reunite. She remembers him with the second meeting. "Sora..." ...This WAS Kairi and Sora knew it... He could FEEL it. They were finally together again. And in a way.. Their promise was fulfilled.


just went through a very weird experience. dunno if it was a prank or for real.

it's so weird that people would fall in love with me online and totally ignore me in reality!

Friday, May 14, 2010

retracing lost memories.

well, I was going through my favourites and decided to watch this video by olmi2607. she's fantastic, from German (i think. somewhere there.)

okay well she disables all her embedding, so if you rajin go watch it here . and make sure you watch it on high quality, cuz the lower one sucks like seriously. and as you can see, it's not exactly the most beautiful video ever, but it IS very creative. I love it. THAT'S what makes a good video editor.

p.s, I'm getting to 400 posts! :D I know it's not much, but I think it should be celebrated :) getting ready for something.




enjoyed a moment of Shin Chan just now. Have been a long time. hit three internet laughs at once - two by the posts by my cousin, and one by Hafizah's introduction today. but the only way I could even go through with the whole thing is to copy and paste everything written there and make the font bigger - IT'S JUST PLAIN TOO SMALL.

I know. Awesome. I was laughing like hell.

Great guys :D I just love One Republic and their music ;)

how can I describe today? Let's just say I was kinda surprised when... okay lets start from the beginning.

hmm.. how did today start?

oh right. Remember the hectic voice out session on Monday? all questions were answered, followed by a touching speech by Pn. Loh (one minute I was trying to make the best heart shape from my hands, the next I could feel my eyes burn from the tears of the touch of Husnul's sob). I think the respect thing didn't make anything better. and don't go around accusing us form 2's of saying something! we were most probably the best form! form 4 also, a bit, but Fifi and Kalpana were getting of their butts! so that's gotta count. us form 2's we're the most well-behaved :)

during recess, Lea brought CAKE! :D so we went to the canteen. she was giving out gummy worms like it was free. then at the canteen we started eating. then suddenly Qaisara attacked me. we did a few Briged Bestari things then when I came back, the whole group was gone. so I went back to class. after a while other people started coming back too, and Lea came in saying "Ooh my God, I sibuk-sibuk kasi orang kek tapi my own best friend Zaza I tak kasi!" in the usual, Lea tone. then after a while, suddenly Lea hugged Hafizah and was actually CRYING.

i was like, "No way." not just cuz of Zaza. then she started saying "I feel like such a traitor..." and I just knew. I felt like bawling back, like, "I can't believe such people exists in this world!" but not for the second time today. I wanted to do something, you know. that's the worst thing when someone's sad - you don't know what to do to make them stop crying or feel better. Laila suggested we see Zaza, but there was a teacher in 2H and it seemed serious. so we didn't. later during Agama Lea and Zaza didn't seem to be talking. or maybe it was just the usual, I can't tell. but I don't see anything in Zaza that seems like she's hurt or anything, and if she's not as sad as Lea about not getting a piece of her cake, then she really sucks. or she just didn't know, I don't know.

anyways. the day went on as usual. don't think my problem is solved - it's not even close. then there was a Briged Bestari meeting. we're selling cupcakes on Monday at the canteen guys, get ready with your money! :) I just love the fact that people still buy some even though they didn't pre-order! Great going, seniors! :D I hope we'll get as much publicity during the first recess :)

BUY CUPCAKES EVERYONE! SUPPORT THE BRIGED BESTARI! We give you free Internet :D well, we don't, the school does, but we switch on the computers and type in the passwords! :D

xo, Lynnie

Thursday, May 13, 2010



Oh I can call him kid alright. he's 13. and he's awesome too. just look at the faces of the crowd at the back. like seriously.

anyways, Lea didn't want me to wish her Happy Birthday because she hated Thursdays. But I wished her anyway :P I also doakan die panjang umur dan murah rezeki, dan kebahagiaan sebelum dia meninggal :) amin.

we were discussing about Phantom of the Opera and we got Chapter 9, the kissing chapter! Maryam said she wanted to be Erik (eee) and she asked Xueh Wei to Christine!!! DDX eww. but Xueh Wei went along with it and "practiced" on my bottle!!! XDD it was SO funny!!! but then later she noticed she actually had to KISS MARYAM so she was kinda disgusted later too :P

today went as usual. Had recess with Nurin, glad we could recap. But.
it feels like she only uses me when she wants to meluahkan perasaan.

during English Pn. Noraini didn't enter class and I decided to waste time and see what happens when I do. then I started telling to no one in particular,

"I miss last year, you know, we were the back of the class gang, and if anything we'd go to each other. kalau nak buat group pun just turn back, "HEY" nod, and there."

no one really cared I said that. except for Lea maybe. But she blamed Nadiah. Nadiah's like, her new best friend now. ngeh.

during Japanese wrote something in my lil notebook. Zalika said I have a doctor's writing. yea, I do, but that doesn't mean I wanna be a doctor, kays? ;) you can tell by the look on my face when Yee sensei started talking bout.... brr. O.O
anyway, here's a paragraph or two of what I wrote.

"I'm afraid I'm too boring for them."
I wish I belonged. I wish I could say something. I wish I had something to say.
I wish I had a friend who's like me - no groups, no posse, no girlfriends. just each other. I know what we'd talk about. We'll talk about people. People change and do stuff so there's always something to say. We'll be different - from others, from each other. We'll be best friends.

I really need one

xo, Lynnie

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


I never really liked my foes, not so. - Secrets, One Republic.

click here if you need a little laugh in life. and if you get sarcasm.

so today we passed up the Teacher's Day Video:) tested it out at Bilik Media during recess first and I realized right after deleting the editing file that I set the audio to soft. =.=" patutlah tak dengar. But never mind. Let's just hope for the best :)

later that day  was so hungry cuz I didn't eat for recess. and then Pri freaked me out when she said she did that once and she fainted O.O thankfully I survived :) better than I thought, huh. but then when I started eating, I'm biting my lower lip at every minute, no matter what I eat. and notice that it's ALWAYS the same place >:( it really hurts, and it's where ulcers start. yucks. :/

then during dinner I bit my lower lip AGAIN and told my mom on how it's been going on since after school. she said that orang dulu cakap kalau kitorang tergigit maknanya orang tengah mengumpat sebab kitorang. pergh. starting from then, I looked back and thought if I did anything wrong that might have affected someone, cuz usually, if I do then that thing will go around my mind or hours, thinking if that person minds, or a way to apologize or stuff like that. but after a while I gave up and chose to go through the brighter lane of things.

"Tah pah peh la, mengumpat sebab Elyna dari tadi. tempat same lak tu mesti orang same. takde kerja ke."

then mom and dad laughed. uh, DUHH. I always get that, you know, these lil things that I usually talk about with my friends and we don't really laugh much about it, we just go along with it and make the joke bigger. but with my family, they just laugh. well, they try to make it grow bigger, but I don't laugh at it. there's the difference.
like the other night we were discussing why Umar was crying at the parking at Amcorp, and Ayah, Mak and Bakmal each had their own conclusions, so me and Bakmal gathered it together, so I said, "Ade 3 point. cukup nak buat Karangan." and Bakmal laughed. hookayy, I did not expect that. you know, stuff like that. Do I NEED to explain? maybe not. But I like typing so there :)

ngeh. Finally moved on with my notes (for Sejarah la ape lagi) finished Maths PATS up to Chapter 5 Subjective. Starting Chapter 6 Objective tomorrow. :) wow. last week it seems like it's NEVER gonna end but now it's gonna END :D chapter 7, here I come :)
No I HAVEN'T studied for my exams. have chosen not to concentrate much on Piano since the exam for that is later during the hols. I know I should probably start studying now, but what can I say, I'll get bored and sleep which will cause me to grow fat so better start later la :) well not better, it's just a choice. It's always a choice, your choice.
what do you want? Tuna Spread of Peanut Butter? both? NO you have to pick ONE, we're on budget.
what do you want, a new handphone or a camera? umm.. camera phone? NO it's too expensive.
what do you wanna do, go to canteen or gallery? Canteen. but I gotta do homework =.=" then why did you ask me where I wanna go?
when will you do your homework, now or later?
what do you want for dinner?
who do you wanna talk to?
where do you wanna eat for lunch?
what? where? who? when? how?

sigh. I hate making decisions.
So it is also a choice whether to study early or study late. obviously studying early is the best choice, but we are human beings, we follow our heart not our brains. thing is, I could go offline at 11 and start studying then, right? 
I can also NOT study at all and concentrate in class :D that's still good. but thing is, if you don't study the night you learn something, 80% will go away like dust in the wind and 20% will stay. so you can just imagine.
and that's what homework's for :) which is why my aim this week is to not have any homework left for the weekends except for Sejarah notes so that I could start studying already :D
but surely I could've just made that aim up a minute ago to not make a bad reputation of myself, but usually if I have an aim (and tell it to the world), I would try my best to stick to it :)

so that's all for today..
that's ALL? that a LOT, elyna. you suck. you make me suffer re--
okay well BYE!!!
askum :)
xo, Lynnie :D

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

to spark and discover a brand new day. - Hell by Tegan and Sara.

finished editing the Teacher's Day video GAAH.
I'll try to upload it tomorrow on Youtube, but I don't think it'll stay up long (the amount of songs we used were yeah. Copyrights and all that) so maybe I'll upload it on my FB. :)

Kay Im'a render the video now :) yes, this will take hours but I have Maths PATS to teman me :D
night, people.

Monday, May 10, 2010

the plan.

grr. pissed off with my classmates right now. but never mind that. i'll still go on.

during the assembly we got so many awards. then after that we had the Student Counsel meeting which ended up in a mess. but this would SO make a good story :D a senior (form 5) started to talk about respect, then a form 3 girl started to fight back. before she said anything, i was like, "please say sorry please say sorry please say sorry" then she went on going "you want respect from us, but you don't give us respect" shit. *slaps head* then later on it went a blunder and Pn. Loh came down and told us "Stop" just when they were giving each form 1 person to say something. The form 1 (is her name Monica Chin?) said "Why are fighting about respect bullshit?" and i wanted to say "you guys are asking for respect from us, but you don't even respect each other - the prefects in front are trying to get you guys quiet and you're making even more noise." but by then they already took the mic away. but it's just plain not fair.

later during recess i heard chatters around the form 1's on how they wanted to stop Monica from saying "Bullshit" when they asked her to repeat.

i kinda felt left out before that. i bought the cake that my family bought me for my birthday, and I wanted Nurin and Lea to come alongand share it with me, but Lea bertugas dekat library and Nurin had to do homework at the Gallery so I went to the canteen myself. with the cake. then there I just knew Eva would attack me. and she did. well, she WAS the one who requested it, so never mind. but later she started gobbling up everything and i stopped her from finishing the last slice, but she took one bite =.=" nasib kecik jer, takde siape prasan :P so later I couldn't eat it anymore I just gave it away.

I met Qaisara and we started discussing about Briged Bestari. there's so much to discuss, really. and I really think I should start giving out the fliers tomorrow, but I don't have a printer so :/ but I'll put it inside my email just in case maybe I can use the computer at school to print or something :D

bla bla bla studied bla bla bla. i pursued some of my classmates to buy the cupcake :D we really need the money like seriously.

then I stayed back for the video thingy (skipped choir again :P) made a bunch of stupid videos with Nadhrah (ONLY, since everyone else wasn't there). I'll try my best to upload it. XP

kay guess that's it.

it's me, Nur Elyna bt. Mahzan ;)

p.s, that reminds me, i wrote this thing and it says "Elyna Lavs Ya! well, unless you're you-know-who-maybe-not." don't get it? don't worry. neither did Anesha :)
only my soulmate will understand ;D yes, I believe in soulmates.
stop crapping.
okay. goodnight.

ELYNA LAVS YA! Unless you're You-Know-Who-Maybe-Not. :D

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Friday, May 7, 2010

Kyapuu a birthday present from YouTube :DD

Thursday, May 6, 2010

our heart's still there.

I miss SSP.
I love Sri Aman and all,
but it's different.

I miss you guys:


wait a second.
I remember i spent the whole of standard 2 having recess alone.
I know it's nice and all,
but truth is, I just miss B. and some girlfriends, plus a few guys, sure, but truthfully I'm happier here.
no kidding.
ouch huh?
well, that's the truth. i was never much of a socialize-r at SSP. now you can say that I have senior friends and junior friends (let's get the closest examples, Marishka, Sook Ching, Hanisa and Zalikha are all form 3's, and Samantha, that form1 girl from choir, and that prefect probie from Biru kawad. and don't forget Izzatun). I can go anywhere and have friends (most of the time). and I don't mind asking for the time from a stranger. so there.
no offense SSP. I would like you to tell me a time when I was as happy here in Sri Aman back then.
But i still love you.

(yes, I love a school. just call it a miracle.)

cuz you had a bad day.

so today started off quite badly. in fact, it started off with my water bottle falling and 90% of my water pouring out. and then 2H losing their mop. then having me wiping the water off the floor only to know a few minutes later that 2F has a mop. =.=" thanks 2F, btw.

then after during recess I just couldn't do the plan. I didn't have the guts. I didn't shake my head at Cynta, neither. I wouldn't want it to seem obvious. Well whatever it is, I want to read that latest comic by Kaoru that Wye Mei has, but in BM. I know it sounds lame, but I'm just not used to reading it in English. I mean, it's so obviously translated. if you can't tell, it means that you'd never read a BM one. so I just couldn't ask Wye Mei if I can borrow it. I know I can't stand the fact that the English is totally unoriginal.

during Sejarah some people burnt down my spirit. I mean, I was so spirited after the search for Pn. Noraini, you should be lucky you'd ever find me like that after such an exercise. but no. I was a lighted splinter and you were carbon dioxide. so I did my PATS myself. then I discovered I didn't bring my Geo text book. =.=" So I borrowed Li Qin's :) Thank Li Qin! During Geo I felt so drowsy. I slept a while, I think, then I volunteered to read the text so that I wouldn't feel sleepy. ahh, much better :D

Did PATS during Maths. I finally finished Paper 2 chapter 3. and also Paper 1 chapter 4 :D I felt like I did a lot of maths today :)) but not really :P planning to do one paper per night, so that I could finish it in about 10 days :D after Maths was English, which is when there was a little problem on which question we should pick since teacher wasn't in to guide us. but never mind, I think we gave it a good thought :)

Japanese was fun. we had a listening test which was AWESOME. then after that learned some Kanji and Ga particle. then teacher was asking if anyone would help her carry her radio back to her place, and I thought, hey, here's our chance to make part of the video! :D so I said I'll bring it. then ask Sabsab to record it :DD yayy.

working hard on the video, Lynnie

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

we are the foo gee's.

so I created the class blog. here's the link :) as you can see, the URL is "We Are the Foo Gee's" and I think it's awesome :D I'm having trouble with the codes again, but never mind, well just have to find out the problem, don't we? :D

so today was fun actually. Anesha came, finally. got busted by Ms. Foo for a "bad" Powerpoint during PJK.

"Why can't you do a Powepoint like Marina's?"
"Because I'm not Marina dumbass."

Sigh. I'm tired of being compared to how perfect Marina is. It's been going on since standard 6. Let's just let it go. I can't be her. I don't want to be her.

Science we got a trainee =.=" just when I started to believe I could succeed in acing science. I mean, science was my first B during standard 2! I effing cried! and during March exam it was higher than my maths! so yea :) there goes all my hopes and dreams. not really.

BM was okay. Thank God we wasted time on the Komsas presentation and not really concentrate in class. Gosh I want to finish the novel. grr. I'm just lazy.

English did summary. looks like things are getting serious already. and my plan to studying a month earlier failed. I have not studied yet. ngeh.

KH was fun. made this thing with only using hot glue gun :) then we decorated the back prettily :D when we had to present it I promoted it quite well ;D

After that went for P.P. we were boiling stuff! we were supposed to only boil water, then later eggs, but after I experimented on the jambu's by 1H last year (there were so many stories about this area last year, and yet, this was the first time I went there =_=") now it's 4S something, everyone else wanted to do it too. and did I tell you the amount of times we migrated? Go Zalika for actually eating the eggs! :D

after that we started on the Video Competition thing for Teacher's Day. we got a small part la. but its okay. Sabrina got a signature until 20th May! XD so we got all the time we need ;)

xo, Lynnie

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

i'm no superman.

scrubs are COOL.

no, the show isn't exactly cool, nor is it great or okay, it more to a lil less than average. but i love the opening and the characters, especially Dr. Cox, who's always even the littlest bit sarcastic. and you know us 2G's, we love sarcasm, even if Pn. Noraini told us not to be sarcastic, it's BAD, but I guess we all have a little guilty pleasure to it ;)

what I meant by scrubs are the uniforms doctors or interns or whoever that works in a hospital wears.
aren't they just cute and colourful? :D

anyways. well mind blogging had just attacked me again and now I'm blank.

oh right. umm.

so yet again didn't have recess with the others because our class had to perform in front of Bandung people. Lea asked if there were anyone wearing a blue tudung. Nadhwah checked and there was :O THE WOMAN FRO THE GHOST STORY. XD how ridiculous. anyway. so it was okay, although some of the jokes were Malaysian so they didn't get it. I think they liked the deodorant and Go Einstein part most. and Xueh Wei and Kai got to befriend them D: Not fair much. :(

so the plan didn't go on. again.

never mind. moving on. in English we got chocolate and 25 formative marks :D yay. then we discussed what type of person we are based on our sleeping habits. 60% of the class were type d, which were waking up late on weekends. 30% were morning people and I'm included in the next 10%, most probably known as type a, night people. no one were a type c, which was an evening person, likes to look at sunsets and go all romantic and stuff. but seriously, why stare at the sun? it hurts my eyes.

next was Maths. did PATS. well sort of. the group for the Video Competition for Teacher's Day (which included me :D you know how I just love editing videos and producing stories. we're doing a theme "Science Experiment" and the aim is to show our appreciation towards our teachers. selected teachers are.. wait, teachers use internet too so I'm gonna stop now :D)

later we went to Bengkel Seni. First time I went too! awesome :D met Suaidah on the way. smalam tak pakai tudung, hari ni pakai plak. sah hipokrit.

Idah: Hi Lynn!
Me: Heyy
Idah *gestures for a hug*
Me: *hug*
Idah: I baru balik Bengkel Seni..
Me: heh? I baru nak pegi. first time lak tu.
Idah: Really? tak pernah pegi?
Me: Tak!
Idah: Tahun lepas?
Me *shakes head*
Idah: O.O
Me :Pelik en?
Idah: Kayy bye~
Me: Bye *waves* *turns* "did you know you can..." *walks on*

well. that was a one moment thing. I wonder if Idah knew she was coming and purposely did that to me. I didn't turn back to see if her there, waiting for me to notice and care and over-react about it (if she was even there). In fact, I didn't mind. Acted as if nothing happened.

touched up our art work. I still love my pear and hate my leaves. although I tried my very best to draw them, I'm just plain not good at painting. even the pear was an accident. I had trouble finding the apparently-turned-out-to-be-a-huge-garbage-bin-filled-with-garbage garbage bin. Then we went back with our half, some even not 10%, done Variation Point drawings. I bumped into that person again. okay okay go away. oh I hope you DIDN''T notice my guitar key chain. just FYI i can't play the guitar, i just like how it looks like. which is really cool. :D i hope you noticed my hands were playing with a pair of scissors that Lea found and apparently gave to me. yes. beware. I am very dangerous. I play with scissors. not.

after that was Sejarah. did PATS. school ended. I helped Pn. Nor carry her bags to her car. then paid choir fees. then asked Pn. Tan for camera permission *ehem ehem*. and that was pretty much it.

when the hell will this plan go on ughh.

oh I am just plain Tired of saying this. Not.
xo, Lynnie :)

Monday, May 3, 2010


there's something about the night that makes you lost in everything that happens.
time passes by and you don't notice it does.
we learned during Agama today that God made day and night forus to work or study during the day and get some rest at night.
I asked, "How bout people who have this disease where they can't sleep at night?"
Ustazah answered, "Then they're lucky - they have more time to pray then most people."
But in my mind something else lingered.
That was not what I meant.

anyways. the disease called insomniac has been going around in my mind for a while.
it's not that I can't sleep at night, I mean, we were discussing what we do when we're stressed and I said "Sleep" so it's probably my favourite thing after going online or writing, but I just don't feel like it, you know. I don't yawn in front of the computer. I yawn when I'm drawing or doing stuff in my room, but yet, I don't have that urge "I gotta sleep". I only sleep because my conscious tells me to. Meaning I'm most probably a i-don't-want-to-sleep person rather then an insomniac.

it's just weird, you know, Hanis goes to insomniac mode sometimes (or so she says, I mean, for all I know I was in bed and she was posting stuff around 1 and then went to sleep) and in Fireflies the guy says he feels like an insomniac. and now I'm reading a book where this girl's insomniac. like, what is the world trying to show me, exactly?! or am I over-reacting? I always do. Well, I often think too much rather than over-react, which is actually most probably the source of over-reacting. I mean you wouldn't over-react of you couldn't care less about what people think. Unless you're melodramatic. oh great, I'm wasting my time talking about personalities now.

oh well. goodnight people. school tomorrow, first subject - Agama =.=" kinda annoying actually. not that I don't enjoy it, I'd just rather not have it as a first subject. bottom line - i'm not insomniac :D

xo, You Know Who I Am.
no, I was not trying to avoid you-know-who. i was doing my agama homework, which apparently I decided to redo for reasons I shall not say since I'm not in the mood for it.

Never gets old, don't u think? "I'm no superman" :)

I'm getting bored of telling you how my day went, so let's go with this.

I skipped choir. Watched a bunch of Youube videos. Chatted with Joy and some other people (sorry Laila) and Bakmal and Ayah and Mum went somewhere that has something to do with his new Uni. That's all.

oh and here's another video :)

I hope you can figure some of it out on your own, but here's what I had in mind; Kairi and Naminé are best friends, and have been since they were small. Their friendship is really strong and they've always been there for eachother. Kairi has also been dating Roxas for quite some time, and everything about their relationship seems perfect; he even gives Kairi a 'lucky charm', which is really a sign for his love and she, of course, gladly accepts. However, Naminé's been keeping a secret for a long, long time, watching the couple from afar and kind of getting more distant as she spends more time in her room drawing and dreaming than being with her friend. Kairi hasn't noticed, though; neither has she noticed how strange Roxas has been acting, even while they were hanging out with his friends. The truth is that both Roxas and Naminé have felt drawn to each other but can't bring themselves to confess; afraid of both what the other will think and how hurt Kairi would be. Roxas, however, can't help himsef and he decides to go see Naminé. She's surprised when she sees him standing at her door. Next, Naminé is talking to Kairi and says that she needs to tell her something (yes, that's what the too-bright subs say). Kairi doesn't have a clue what it could possibly be - and then Naminé breaks the news; she's in love with Roxas - Kairi's boyfriend. Kairi is, naturally, surprised by this and doesn't know how to feel about it; her feelings are a chaotic mess. She goes to talk to Roxas about it, but they end up fighting, and he surprises her by angrily saying that they're over, and that he is also in love with Naminé. Kairi feels betrayed, but she can't bring herself to be mad at her best friend, even though she did "steal" her boyfriend. She doesn't want to feel hostility towards any of them, but she can't help but feel sad. Standing on the beach where she shares so many memories with both of them, she lets the lucky charm Roxas gave to her sink into the ocean. Days pass and Kairi's slowly recovering. Selphie meets her up and on their way to school she comments on Naminés 'betrayal' and how angry Kairi must be. 'Of course not', the redhead answers with a sad smile. 'Why would I be?' Selphie doesn't understand how she can not be, and she just stares at Kairi in disbelief. However, at that moment Kairi catches sight of Naminé and Roxas by the beach; he's giving the blonde another lucky charm and they seem very happy. Unsure of how she should react, Kairi just takes off. As she arrives to the other side of the beach, she takes out a bottle where she has stuffed a letter and lets the ocean take it. It's for 'the one special person for her'. She does not know who it is and she doesn't even know if he exists - but she hopes that someone will find her letter. More days pass and she can't bring herself to go out of her house. She doesn't blame her best friend or her ex-boyfriend, but she's not sure if she can face them just yet. Naminé is deeply worried and leaves messages on the redhead's voicemail where she says she's sorry and begs Kairi to call her back. Kairi, however, doesn't feel ready just yet. In some other, unknown place, two boys sit by a beach not very unlike Kairi's. They find her letter, and the silver-haired boy gives it to the other one, saying, 'I think it's for you'. As Sora reads the letter he smiles, feeling like the words are written just for him. As if by coincidence, they meet in a whole other town where they both happen to be at the same time, and they both feel like there is something special about the other - neither of them knowing about the letter that links them. A year goes by, and Kairi and Sora have been a couple for just as long. They return to the town where they first met, and something catches Kairi's eye. It's Naminé and Roxas, the girl turning and immediately recognizing her ex-best friend. Kairi finally breaks the silence, and Naminé feels like she needs to explain herself, still feeling guilty over what she did. Kairi cuts her off, though, offering her hand in a friendly gesture - Naminé smiles, grateful at the girl's kindness as she takes the hand. 'You look happy', Roxas comments. 'I'm glad'. Later on, when Sora and Kairi have returned home, he asks his girfriend what all that was about; he, of course, has never heard of Roxas nor Naminé. Kairi decides to answer with a smile, because she's not sure if he would understand. She believes that she has truly become happy, no matter how hard the journey was.


Sunday, May 2, 2010

new layout.
oh don't complain. I went through hells to get this thing. I mean, imagine decoding three layouts over and over again, almost five times each, at a place where the air is most probably trying to avoid.
plus, no title. yay. makes my job easier :)

month chapter title - No Turning Back.
it's either I do it and regret it, or not doing it and never solve my problem.
I'll take the risk. maybe I won't. let's just see.

enjoy running your mouse over the words and clicking different ones over and over again like I did.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

mind blogging.

wow it really does work. I feel like there's nothing to tell.

apparently, I prefer accepting Sorority Life gifts (of stuff I already have, btw) then do this. I mean, if I have that handphone dad does I would probably have written a whole book just for the two days I wasn't at home.

plainly, Port Dickson (haha, DICK) had never changed - I didn't miss it, it didn't miss me. It hadn't improved much neither. And the drivers there suck. I should be thankful I'm still alive. The only thing I liked there was the fact I got to swim again - and it's not like I couldn't go swimming here in KL too.

you know SL, I don't think I WANT new opportunities. the amount of events here are undoable (there's such thing but no such word, wonderful) enough, thank you very much.

sorry random. so where was I? oh yea. there wasn't even Beach Boys! Oh of course there was but they're neither hot nor interesting. well there was this Swimming Pool guy but you know how I am. it's all about glances and leave. that's it. ohh, I'm hacking Joy's account again to play SL now :D yea, I've run out of energy :P not that I don't have anymore mochacinos, I'll just take more later so that I'll have even MORE energy! :D

I know I'm boring you with all these useless info, so maybe I'll stop here. Or maybe I won't :D

so after PD we went to somewhere for this thing. anyway lets skip to the awesome (well maybe not, if you're not interested in personal life) part. so there was this family that Kak Su was telling us about, another one of her anak sedare's. there was a form 4 girl who looked like he was a mom (maybe I'm a lil harsh here), a form 2 girl who looks like she's in form 5, and their brother who looks like he's 16.

HAH I'm confusing myself. I logged out of Joy's account, logged into mine then logged out again for no reason. oh just ignore my silliness, I'm always like this, nothing wrong with me except for a two-second paranoia :D

so h'anyways, like our choral speaking says, "us, as in young adults with RAAAAAGING hormones, also known as teenagers". I am a teenager, there fore I have absolute right to have raaaaaging hormones. so I was doing that glancing thing. pfft. I feel all giddy suddenly, maybe because I would tease, well anyone would tease, anyone else who would admit this on her blog, but there's the truth, I do the glancing thing. (does anyone else do the glancing thing? I wanna know, because I don't wanna feel alone)

and after a while, I got that "pause moment" (or rather I glanced for one second and it's as if I caught a photo, you know what I mean?) at this one moment, a normal moment, nothing different or special about it, but suddenly I felt the whole world went hazy.

why? why did this "pause moment" make me feel like my head could burst?

well, maybe it's because he looked like B.

ever since this new problem occurred to me, I haven't thought much about B, just the thoughts of the SSP "Reunion" *does that thing you do with your index and middle finger to gesture speech commas, or whatever* brought me back to him, then a few seconds later my head would turn back to something else, like what I'd like to eat for recess maybe (which concerns me more then my problem really, because I got to watch the amount of money I spend, but I'll never know what to buy until I'm actually there, really, since what I want will most probably not be there anyway), so never, NEVER had I expected this to happen again.

when was the first time, you ask?

well, maybe someone I have mentioned before's grandson (you'll have to think back like REALLY hard, well not really, for this). the moment I saw that boy, my head went frozen I repeat FROZEN. that was like what, standard 5, 6, maybe? he's now like, 6, and he does, in fact remind me of B. maybe it's the pale face, dark eyes thing. maybe. but Edward Cullen doesn't remind me of him. huh. maybe it's because he's not human and his chin (haha, yes I also mean Robert now, not just Edward, since, ha, they ARE the same person, well not really, well never mind) is a lil... you know... forward-ish? yea. NO OFFENSE OMG DON'T SUE ME. you know how crazy people are these days - say something a lil sensitive, spread the word and there you go, a big movie star sues an innocent child (well, teen, well, preteen, maybe in between) who has no money for the fact of life. and he's awesome! :D does that... solve anything?

well sorry there.lost myself. so after that stun I went back to myself. no after affects or anything. just. a lil disturbing. what would be more disturbing then seeing someone who look likes someone else who you had a crush on for five years?

well that's it then. my brother wants to use the comp anyway. just to say, HE TOLD ME TO SEARCH FOR STUFF HE WAS SUPPOSED TO SEARCH XPP oh how mature of me.

xo, Lynnie