easy going, laid back and casual. that's the three best words to describe guys, no matter the interest or personality.
I had fun last night, chatting with Harith -- I mean, Core :P All my problems sort of just kept stored in a little shelf at the back of my heart, and right now I'm just playing with my checkers, those other complicated games was left to dust. It felt good to not deal with emotions and care for a while, after weeks of thinking "my life is a girl's school life, therefore I deserve all this complications". Plus, you can't consider the people who look like guys at my school are guys, cuz technically, they're not. No matter how boyish they get, they're still girls with a girl's heart and emotions and brains (therefore smarter too, hahaha joke).
What's nice is that even though I told him I had a rough day, but it might've seemed normal to anyone else, instead of trying to solve the problem (therefore making things a whole lot more complicated) he made me laugh instead. And instead of going on about one thing, we moved from one thing to another. I think we talked about several topics from blog templates to the funny picture he showed me to stupid racist people on YouTube to MVs. it was so awesome to talk about something you're interested in with someone who's interested in it too. Even though our MVs are different (his being from RuneScape, mine from Kingdom Hearts), we still had effects and songs to talk about. I felt good.
I remember one day I was telling someone, no one in particular, cuz if I say Lea she couldn't even really care less, "I wish I had someone to talk about editing videos with." well, wish come true. :)
really what bothers me most is that I didn't end it. Ayah took the modem away before I could say bye. I was trying to get it back, fighting, saying "Jap, Elyna cakap bye jer kejap," but then Ayah's hand was raised up to the air and that was queue to stop. I feel bad for Core. He doesn't even know what's happening.
question, what's narcissism?
and YOU. are you talking to me? I'm not sure cuz you didn't use my name like I did mine. If you WERE talking to me, you didn't answer my question.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you stayed?
and the other you. well right now I can't handle you cuz first, I'm hiatus-ing on FB therefore no more ways to contact you. And second, I doubt you even open your FB on weekends, but who knows. I'm still wishing things are different though.
what WOULD have happened if Hanis stayed?
I would most probably have somewhere to sit during recess - with, obviously, Hanis. I'd have pals in my class but no matter what priority would be Hanis. Then Hanis has friends too, most probably with Kai. She could have been the now-Nazureen, who knows? Then we start not hanging out with each other anymore. Maybe just during recess, but sooner or later we'd stick to our classmates.
Hmm. The thing I couldn't get off my mind is that Hanis's classmates (she was in 1 Damai, I keep forgetting to ask ex-1D's if they remember her) would be Eva, Iman and Sabrina. and Dharani and Ain and Dina. and Kai and Nazureen and Santra and Jing Kai. not forgetting Lavynia, the Rock Lee-look-a-like. These people don't remind me ANYTHING of Hanis (except Kai, she reminds me of how care-free Hanis was with popular people) She could've even be a prefect. wow. There were no prefect probies from 1D last year. they were totally free, until the special batch came (this includes Kai, Xueh Wei, Arshvina, Santra) she could've became a special batch, too. Oh man there's so many possibilities.
Form 2 - totally went separate ways. well that's just a hypothesis. but life is unpredictable. and SHL maybe would have never been created. Maybe we'd still be writing in a testpad, passing it around. who knows?
our road has been redirected, and now we can't turn back and see to make changes. what has happened happened, and yet I'm still thinking like I could change something. well I can't, and I have to face that. sigh.
I wish I had the power to twist fate. Hanis never had to move to Ampang. Never had to change anything. Najiya never went to boarding school. Neda came to Sri Aman, not Assunta. But these fates, what if it made these people not happy? What if they were glad with whatever they got, and changing it would be a total disaster?
The I wouldn't change anything.