Thursday, December 9, 2010

when everything is blinded, right your hearts out. every idea is much appreciated into this world.

Ya Allah,

why do you have to make things hard for me? Ni cume baru sket je kan? Banyak lagi halangan nanti kan? Macam mane aku nak hadapi nanti. Aku ni bukan nya kuat. baru sket camtu dah nangis. aku tahu, aku hamba yang dah banyak buat bersalah. tolonglah ya Allah, maafkan segala kesalahan aku. tolonglah beri aku kekuatan untuk menghadapi cabaran sebegini rupa pada masa akan datang. aku letih, tak larat nak lalui benda camni lagi. aku janji, aku akan cuba sedaya upaya untuk menjadi muslim yang soleh. tapi macam mane? terlalu banyak pengaruh. but that's exactly what you wanted us to handle right? thats how you make us stronger. i want to try harder but, what will people think of me?

we all know better. we all know that dunia ni tak lama. akhirat lagi lama, hukuman dalam neraka lagi dasyat. tapi manusia dibutai nikmat kat dunia. semua tau, tapi perangai macam tak tahu. including me. i know its wrong, dosa kecil bersumpah. dosa jugak mengumpat. dosa juga merokok. dosa juga lukakan hati mak bapak. tapi kitorang buat juga kan? kenape agaknya.

manusia memang bodoh. ape yang kitorang tahu, pura-pura tak tahu, untuk ape? untuk kesenangan hidup. senangkan, takyah pakai tudung ke ape ke. lagi bebas. kan kat Malaysia panas? kenape takleh pakai shorts? best kan, tengok pornografi, best. kenape takleh tengok? takut ghairah? tapi manusia memang kena ade zuriat. kita makhluk jugak, makhluk terbaik kut, mane boleh extinct.

tapi semua ni kan ade sebab tertentu?

tapi instead kitorang persoalkan ape yang kitorang tak tahu. kengkale tumblr tu meluat gak tengok. ade yang emo habis-habisan. ade yang happy-go-lucky, oh, just smile, and all your worries will go away. yea right. it'll go away for a while, then it comes back to you and you still have to solve it. and ade persoalkan, what is life?

OH MY GOD. tu yang paling meluat skali. nak tanye what is life BAPAK KAU. okay I really shouldn't say this right since it's supposed to be bout religion stuff. but why don't we take those questions that we wait for others to answer, and bring it to our own thought. why don't we think rather than ask so many questions?

i know my thinking is both an advantage and disadvantage, cuz I think a little bit too much bout everything. but let's give it a thought. okay, we shall use that stupid question what is life.

LIFE, if when something is alive. for plants, when they get enough sunlight to make food. and when they use the carbon dioxide and gives out oxygen. when plants can do that, their life is complete. their existence on earth will be much appreciated and be well used, until they can't do much of that anymore and die, like any other alive things will.

for animals, they have many uses. cows, for instance, can give us milk, and FOOD :DD I laik beef. and kerbau (what is this in English? kehkehkeh) they STILL use for pertanian, right? (sorry for the random Malay words that pop out kekeke) there are many other uses for many other animals. even the small ones too. like how cats can make you relaxed and scientifically proven that can make you live longer? yeap ^^ and I have nothing on dogs, too. they're super useful with their awesome smelling senses and they help their owners in many other ways too, right? ^^ no worries, I'm an animal lover. I just don't touch those i can't touch. except for pigs. they're just disgusting. basically, life to them is to help us stronger creatures, to make us reach our full potential.

anyways, back to life. humans, when we breath, we're not living. we're just alive, right? I guess all I can say bout life for humans is whatever we wish it to be. to fulfill a dream? to just go with the flow? whatever. whatever we think it should be. as humans with feelings and emotion, I guess we have a right to define life whatever way we want. we just can't define other's lives for them.

what's life for me? well, I guess my main dream right now is to go back to Pittsburgh and see where I was born and raised till two years old ^^ I know it's a dream, not life, but to me, having a dream IS life. I know it sounds corny haha ^^ but i guess along the way life is just to make the right decisions. there's no such thing as no regret, cuz without regret, we won't learn anything. I know, that's so general, making right decisions, but I guess I'll know it when it comes.

Ya Allah, tolong lah beri aku kekuatan untuk mencapai impian aku ini dengan sempurna, dan ringankanlah beban aku di mase hadapan. dah tak larat berpura-pura tak kisah, now I'm telling you, I do care a whole lot (and I know you know that Allah ^^) and it's hard to think about tomorrow when you don't know what's coming right? so let's just say I'll try my hardest for tomorrow too. hari ni sebenarnye dah banyak dosa kan? mengumpat, bersumpah. pastu paling berat skali terlepas solat Asar tadi. belum ganti Qadar pun tadi nak cepat sangat solat Maghrib, terlupa. manusia memang pelupa.

Maafkan hambamu ni Ya Allah yang Maha Penyayang lagi Maha Pengasih.

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