Friday, February 11, 2011

sad night.

firstly, I read my cousin's blog entry and suddenly felt kinda sad. he was talking about friends and stuff, and I've never done anything he did (and if you didn't read the post, it wasn't anything bad) but I sort of understand. actually, I was sort of a loner back in SSP. Sri Aman sort of brought me to life. I remember the first few months of my life there, my mom said I seemed happier. cuz having friends back then was harder then it was now? most people are different, because when you're younger you care less and befriend everyone. I was a bit immature I guess, that's why I didn't befriend many people. now I've grown up a bit, and making friends is an easy deal.

like for instance today was my first day of tuition at Andrew Choo. well actually the first day of this year, since I went back in standard 6. at first I entered the class and I got nervous cuz none of my friends were there yet. after surviving 15 minutes alone in class (with weird people thinking I'm deaf going "sape tu?? sape tu??" "I'd like to introduce myself, to avoid anymore confusion, I'm Elyna, I'm new, for the year that is, and I'd like it if you guys didn't stare at me like I have two horns and a tail sticking out of my back, thanks." naah I didn't say that.) they finally arrived, but then I was already used to being alone and being stared at.

oh. and Jia Yi tuitions there too. since standard two, I've been told. I felt bad seeing her sit alone just now, maybe next time I'd sit next to her (even though she didn't sit next to me when I was alone. and she probably have friends, maybe they didn't come today.)

should I tell about the tuition so far? the Geo teacher like so repeat words like "Jarak Mutlak *writes mutlak down on board* MUTLAK, MUTLAK, MUTLAK, *taps on board* MUTLAK MUTLAK MUTLAK!!" and I'd be here like "... okay, Mutlak. lol." and the English teacher has a hoarsey voice that's sort of scary the first time. she also stares at people, trying to pick someone to read the text, and when people stare back she'd pick that person to read the text. a.k.a. me. but I like it when she says "good" after we read :3

I'm rather off topic. so after reading the blog post, I listened to MBLAQ's new album, 'Blaq Style'. well actually the first two songs. technically the first and third (since I'm already in love with the second) the first, which was the intro, was okay. it was just the piano, no singing. I wonder which member played that, if it was them. cuz it was really nice.
then I listened to Cry, the 3rd song of the album. I loved it so much, but it was seriously so sad. although there's probably sadder songs in this world, I really like sad songs like this. hmm, how can I describe it? some sad songs sort of have some hope in them, but I prefer those... that you just cry to. no pun intended.

I think I'm considered sensitive, cuz I've cried to songs a million times, like even after the 20th time I hear It Hurts by 2NE1 I still cry to it, cuz the sadness just seeps in you and makes you go cold and lonely just like that, and tears form in your eyes.

Language is no barrier. mom had always been against this K-POP thing cuz she doesn't understand. to me, music is one language. the words don't matter sometimes, you just feel the emotions. like you can tell someone is angry when he's shouting, even if he's shouting in Greek.

When was the last time I felt sad without the influence of music? well. I truthfully can't remember. I guess last year, that time I had a fight with Laila...

OH no recently I felt sad too. It's because of a friendship that's breaking apart. We used to be so close in form 1, we used to sit next to each other in class, and talk about everything. I'd try to be interested in K-POP but it was really hard for me then. I really miss talking to you, Adilah Aishah bt. Khushairi <-- (I remember how this used to be a problem lol.). let's talk someday.


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