Thursday, June 30, 2011

i'll never get things done.

the rapper. yang comel-comel tinggi-tinggi macam Key tu... XD name : Minhyuk. coincidence? maybe. but he. is. freakin. cute. lagu ni pun COMEL.


I feel sick. I feel stupid. I feel so many things I don't usually feel at these type moments - defeated. No I don't mean when both kawad and Blue got last, but so many other new things that I'm feeling, things that I'm still not used to feel.
Like I usually feel worried about what I do, how it affects what other people think of me. But usually it goes okay. Now I'm feeling the feel when it doesn't go okay.
I wanted to talk about Pumpkin a lot in many humourous ways but I don't feel like it anymore. I think I should stop stalking her.


"Seperti biasa, setiap hari gua berharap akan bertemu makwe comel dalam situasi romantik seperti menolong makwe yang tersepit kaki di pintu tren, menendang brader pervert yang suka meraba makwe comel, atau tumpangkan bahu gua sekiranya makwe comel yang duduk di sebelah mengantuk.

Dan seperti biasa juga, situasi romantik di atas tak berlaku hari ini."

- Mohd Akmal Mahfar, Blog Encik Akmal

When I read this I can't help but smile. LOL I feel the same way every time I get out of the house. Only I'm on the other side of the story, and I don't wanna get molested but a perverted guy, and no one would consider me as "makwe comel", so therefore my expectations for the guy of the story isn't very high.


I had a couple of things to talk about, but since my mom wouldn't allow me to use the laptop too long I'll cut out Sports Day. which was today. I think I'll rant too much. so let's talk about something else! :D

The Spiritual Thief

muahahahha SA Gossip Time~! lol. truthfully, I love to gossip just as any other Malay girl does. only I don't like to gossip about people I don't really know cuz then it's called fitnah lol. but when this happened to me, I don;t really need to know the culprit too well to know that she needs to change. period.

so last Sunday, I was busily doing my Science amali reports, since Pn. Hafizah likes the reports to be done earlier and all we have to do after teacher demo's the experiment is answer the worksheet and questions in the report. the next morning after Agama (which was right after recess, which was in surau) I looked inside my bag for my done homework and see that it's gone. I ask Nuryn and she ask me if this piece of paper on her table was mine and I was like "YEA, this was in my book!!" at that moment I knew someone took my book, cuz how can that piece of paper be here and my book be at home when the last time I saw it they were together?

but not wanting to blame anyone I still asked around, wanting to know if anyone saw my Amali. until Science came and I finally confronted Pn. Hafizah. she gave me 2 days to search for my book, not buying it when I told her I have a feeling someone took my book. Xueh Wei did a favour of asking out loud if anyone saw my book XD thanks. I hate doing that. especially if your voice shrivels at the end of the sentence or if no one pays attention, it's so embarrassing.

So the next day (I think i told this) I wrote on every form 3 class's board if they saw my book. on Wednesday afternoon me and Nuryn and some other people talked about this and Nuryn told me that Sonia wanted to borrow her file and Amali before recess, but since she didn't finish her work she didn't give Sonia her book. so she was our No. 1 suspect. 

Friday came and no one came to me about anything (except for Dr Jekyll, there was a mysterious extra in 3F and they asked me, but I don't think that was mine (I think I should've just took it though, it could be useful ><") ). So I told Pn. Hafizah this and she told me to buy a new book. I was so happy when she told me I don't have to redo the whole book >w< I liked this teacher since form 1, especia-- never mind.

the weekend passed and on Monday (this Monday) I was planning to buy a new book. but I didn't have money and I thought it was okay since I didn't have Science today (schedule 2). but then Agama came and ustazah told us to present the topic ourselves (it must be this new things she's trying so that students won't sleep. who? me?). our group was the first though, so just finished it off and went on with our own business (mine was sleeping. lol sorry ustazah, but you phailed.)

then suddenly Nuryn was pushing my arm, telling me to wake up. I opened my eyes and looked around, and the current presenters were looking at me, Iman and Nuryn and ustazah, and believe it or not, Pumpkin.

I was surprised (uh duhh) and woke up immediately. she (who's she? PUMPKIN OF COURSE!) came to my table and told me teacher wants to see me. weirdly the first question was where and she said bilik pengawas and second question who and she said Pn. Hafizah and like ok thanks and went. I wonder where she went after that. maybe she was right behind me. creeper.

thinking it's Pn. Hafizah, I knew she'd be near the lab. and thinking why so suddenly, it must be about my book. so bilik pengawas.. the PR? why would teacher be there? but I went there anyway. thankfully, the arrangement was Bilik Pertemuan, lab then PR so I sort of saw Pn. Hafizah but wasn't really sure. then I heard her calling "L******! dah panggil dah?" and I stopped in my tracks. yup. it was Bilik Pertemuan. and Pumpkin was creeping on me.

Pumpkin doesn't know the difference between Bilik Pertemuan and Bilik Pengawas. (i thought I said I should stop stalking her)

so yea, what a coincidence Pn. Hafizah chose Pumpkin to call me. weird, don't you think since she doesn't even know my name? maybe she learned in the past few days. good job, grasshopper.
and yes, Sonia stole my book. how many times I have told this story (since I like gossiping so much)? let's just put a short version then.

Monday morning. Sonia's at lost - she didn't bring her book, again! she looked around and saw everyone doing their work, so she came to 3E to ask for Nuryn's book - maybe not even return it. it'll be okay, since Nuryn's her friend and all. but then Nuryn didn't do her work! she say its okay, I'll just borrow your file then. and all is fine - except she still doesn't have her amali book! oh what to do~ Cik Ili, this cute skinny new teacher is gonna kill me~ 
then after recess, she sees that 3E is empty! haha! I shall seize this opportunity! but wait, I have to wait for the right time! if anyone sees me, I'm dead! so she came in a little later, when no one suspects it... but then, the Agama students are back early! sh*t! so she hurries to the table next to Nuryn and takes her Amali without really checking the fact that her writing is fugly and her work is totally messed up.   
back in class, she correction taped the name (Nur Elyna bt Mahzan who? this is Sonia's book!! Tanisha Sonia!) and the class (Erat is so lame! Fasih rocks!!) and wrote 'Cik Ili' by the side- all with red pen.
she passes it up - heheh I'm so awesome I didn't write scratch and yet work is done - and Cik Ili checks. suddenly she sees all the signature weren't hers! WTF! she looks at the cover and sees Sonia's name over a correction tape. she scratches it and sees "Nu--" then she scratched the class and sees "Er--" and she's like "...KAK HAFIZAH~~!!"

Stupid stupid Sonia. no matter how good your marks are, you're not really good at learning from lessons. don't steal a book from a different class. especially when they don't have the same teacher as you do. you just don't.

fun facts:
  • Sonia had been stealing since form 1.
  • Sonia was a prefect, but then she stopped dutying and started wearing pinafore.
  • we questioned if she quit or was fired, but she never answered. now, she doesn't have to.
  • she also stole a classmate's file, but she was discovered very quickly and Nazureen forgave her, which is probably why she learned to not steal a classmate's stuff.
  • she is still schooling in SMK (P) Sri Aman.
Okay fine it might seem mean to not touch on Sports Day at all. 

Congratulations to Ruby Red for winning first, although you guys kinda suck for stealing our cheer, I forgive you cuz I have awesome friends in Red house (Nuryn, Iman S., Ika, Ain, Sya and a few others). 
Congratulations to Emerald Green for winning second! you guys made a great comeback! to Naddo, don't worry omma. people respect you guys, they do, and your senamrobik WAS awesome, but I guess it was a bit messy (as usual, Blue and Green always have messy issues with their senamrobik). BUT. all your efforts showed - everyone knows you guys were awesome, and definitely better than Blue!
Congratulation to Topaz Yellow, the house where most of my friends are in. You guys did a great job on senamrobik, although not keeping up with the usual standard. I think the song was to short and you guys didn't make as many formations. but you guys were great anyway!!

and lastly, to Blue. it's okay that we're last. really it's fine that the stupid (mind me) form 2 was freaking stupid and stubborn and deaf and huge and... I should stop. it's fine that our leaders weren't exactly the best leaders (lol I knew Thabeena wasn't captain material.. like my mom says, she's all show.) 

It's okay cuz our generation, the '96ers are gonna make us win in the year 2013!!! WOO!!!
(next year third la, okay? >~<)


Friday, June 24, 2011


(lol uploading this almost crashed Chrome ><")

Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who had given me strong words to hold on too :) I love you guys so much, I almost teared up when Nadhrah gave me the hug yesterday. I didn't know she read my blog, so I was a bit confused. You really are my omma, Naddo! :')
and Joy, thanks for always being there for me when I need it. I know I haven't done the same for you, let me just tell you that I will.

so about the above GIF.
Trust me, I'm not big of a Harry Potter fan but I've watched all the movies and I know 80% of the characters. so when I read Nad's and Xueh Wei's blog post I was like "LOL I'll be like the only Tumblrite in SA that doesn't have this" so I decided to sign up ^^ It didn't crash like Naddo and Xueh Wei's did, probably because not millions of people from are on the site now. it was rather quick, really, but if I was a real Harry Potter fan,  think I would've preferred all the hardship. it just shows how much of a Harry Potter fan you are ;)
sincerely, I think I only signed up because you could relive the Hogwarts experience? like RPing you mean? I LOVE ROLE PLAYING :D (<--- a Harry Potter thing made into an anime-lover thing) so yeah, can't wait to be a new person online yet again~

so as you guys know, yesterday I had tuition and yes, he came for 4-6 :) lol purple t-shirt, reminds me of the Biebster. and then he was wearing a cap too.. I bet he didn't really notice this XD we were sitting in the same row (tables next to each other) and, I guess I'm sort of paranoid, he was sitting in the middle out of 5 seats, like I was!
Okay see here's the problem. we all know I'm supposed to be concentrating for PMR. I even promised mom that I won't play around in class, or she'll threatened me to change tuition centre. there's like two other tuition centres in Old Town, TTC and Rakan Muda. I don't want to change, my timetable's set up and all my friends are in AC (my mom respond "pegi tuition nak belajar ke nak jumpa kawan?" to this)
Of course starting from now on I'll just tell my mom I concentrated and didn't play around, but I'll be lying through my teeth. I can't concentrate during Geo because I'd be nervous that he'll come in after this. I'll be looking at my watch and counting down the minutes. which is why, even though an A, my Geo (practically my best subject as I've said before) was an 85.

I don't know. Mollayo. let's just hope that things will get better, still, even when I'm gettin all nervous during Geo, even when I'm still sneaking the laptop away and failing the "impress mom" attempts (I wanted to fold the heaps of laundry downstairs and I thought "well lemme just download Only Learnt the Bad Things MV first then when it's DLing I'll just go downstairs" but then I got stuck what with the Pottermore and all that) so now I'll just finish up this post, the DL and take a shower, fold the clothes and then go to tuition (yes, again).


I love it when fans do this. Sigh. I wanna do fanart too.


Thursday, June 23, 2011

when your pendrive can't be read by the stupid computer.

and the only thing you can do left is blog.


So I told my mom, I really did, because she asked me. I already got the speech where she tells me why it's so important to get straight A's in PMR. That's why I was so moody yesterday. This morning, she acted like everything was fine, she forgave me. But then she comes to school all pissed to take my results.

I greeted her with a smile - weirdly after over an hour waiting for her and I finally decide to hang outside 3C with Ika (who was waiting for her mom who was talking to Idah's teacher) and then she came. Then Yen Fern and Eva came and before we got to talk about stalking Ika was all "Elyna your mom! your mom dah datang!!" so I had to go.
and do you know how she responded to my smile? this freaking scary face that looks like she's about to kill me. or maybe the least, slap my head off. I shriveled and slipped my way to the seat where the students were supposed to sit and teacher motioned my mom her seat. and my mom started teasing me hands first.

"So macam mane keputusan teruk anak saya?"


I can't believe I actually cried. I haven't cried in awhile, not even in my own room. I'm sick of listening to mom telling me how much I've disappointed her. Does she think I don't know? She's told me like a million times and every single time I feel bad about it. And she keeps saying that my future's dull now. WTF? This wasn't even PMR. When I cried she said "nangis kemudian dah tak gune dah." and I was like, kemudian? This is NOT the end. this ISN'T PMR. I told her to just not say anything anymore (the nicer way of saying shut up) I don't wanna listen. Everything she's saying I've heard. I don't need it, I know. That was the past, and I'm trying to change. Don't compare to Bakmal, we're two different people. and you know he's much more messed up then I am.

urgh. who would understand.


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I hate being moody. It wasn't until I played thumb wrestling with Khairin and Amanda called me senpai that I actually gave a real smile.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I'm in love.

after reading some weird things... I think I fell in love with...

...this cutie.




Today, Eva slapped me a lot. Like my thighs were probably red by the time I finally asked "Why do I keep being slapped every time I say the truth?!" tu pun her hands were already high up, ready to give me another slap.

These days, mornings don't feel so stressful anymore. I even shared my newspaper collection from Sinar's "Zass Korea" with Nuryn, Iman and Nadiah. probably cuz I finally lost it - I don't think I can ever feel stressed other than that moment I think about how mom will disappointed when she gets my results this Thursday during open day. Just hoping I'm not last or second last. or anywhere close to last. but the truth is, in my class, probably everyone got more than 2A's T___T Thank God I don't have any C's.

so during recess I went to gallery with Dina and Eva to listen to her new song. truthfully I can't help much music-based, that's her thing, but some of the lyrics were awkward (but totally the truth). and that's where I come in! :D she gave me the paper to edit anything, then we went back to class cuz I had to write on every class's board if they saw my Science amali or Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. no response so far. then lepak-lepak as usual. (BTW I LOVE COMEL~~~ KUU she's just so cute and her fur is so soft~~ xD)

After recess was BM GAAARGHHH did lisan lol. it was scary, although my nice nice and technically-new-so-we-sort-of-took-advantage-of-that teacher gave me 26/30 although I memorized it like on the spot! :D YENF how much you got with the new teacher? XD

Then we had to go for this anti-dadah pameran thingy and there was a breast cancer stall. it was really... awkward. there were 'sample breasts' which had lumps, dangerous lumps, and we had to feel it up. the old lady was all like "here, here, see, there's a lump there. oh here it is - under the nipple there!" and I'm like "uhuh, I'm not touching that." but I did. not the nipple, but the sample breasts. they were really rubbery. yek.

so then we moved on to the games. I found this word-oku thing, which was a change of sudoku, from numbers to latters. found Xueh Wei doing it too, so we did it next to each other. she found the word before she actually finished the thing, but she thought it was wrong.. but I finished the whole thing and got the same word. I couldn't concentrate on the second one, but we didn't have any time left, therefore I gave my paper with the second word-oku unanswered T__T it'll still be nice to win though.... I love sudoku...

Sejarah, Science, stayed back. when I got there everyone was crowded together at the astaka and I'm like "err, is there Biru kawad? if not I'm leaving" so I went to the canteen for companions and met up with Iman, Eva, Yen Fern and Lavynia! yay :D I was about to edit Eva's lyrics when she took it, and I'm like, lemme edit and she said "not in public" no one cares, Eva =.= they never do. especially not what I'm doing. so I don't have the paper, there fore no edit. what la you Eva.

at the padang we were all screaming for our houses at tarik tali. Eva didn't even notice she had senamrobik xD so I supported Biru number one, of course, but when Biru's not against anyone, me and Iman support Kuning! :D then we had a dilemma whether to support Merah or Hijau, although I didn't wanna support neither, I said Merah.. but now when I think about it, Hijau has nicer people xD I said Merah because my closer classmates are Merah... senior Merahs are mean though.....
we also had a conclusion that Eva's vibrating scream can be a disturbance. so whenever she screams at one side of the tarik tali, that side loses. and it really did work!! it has to be used some other time :D

then Eva had to go so Iman, Wye Mei and I went to teman her. we talked about stalking and stalkers and all that. yes, I told Iman who Pumpkin was lol. Eva told me Pumpkin didn't know who 'Elyna' was. and I'm like *rage of fury* *kicks her bag* then Eva had to leave... then after Eva left Iman and Wye Mei had to go for practice while I skipped out on kawad. was sooo bored~ till I met Ain :D

so we were walking out of the school when I suddenly felt a slight rage towards Pumpkin again. you don't know who I am huh? you don't care about your stalkers? well do you know how much people care about you? they don't even freakin know you. and you don't even bother knowing them. so all this rage coming towards me, I poured some of her water from her bottle on her bag.

Ain was so surprised, but I just walked away. she asking me why, so I told her she did something that I didn't like. she wanted to know who it was, so I gave her clues. sampai her mom dah sampai she couldn't get who it was. she told me that Tauruses are like that- they easily feel vengeful. I can't fully blame the fact that I was born in the earlier dates of May that I'm like this, so ya know. I felt kinda bad. I guess she doesn't deserve it. I guess.

so later met up with Iman and Wye Mei after they finished practice :D started talking about stalking again. She asked me "what is it that you wanna know about her?" and I had no answer to that question. she started saying how they always wondered whether she was straight or gay. no one actually knows - well, at least people we know of. I wonder if Sticky knows. so later when Iman had to go, I think that's what I actually wanna know - whether she's straight, or gay.

started talking to Wye Mei who was blur the whole time. she told me she haven't been able to concentrate lately. so we talked.. then I saw YenFern and I was like "bye Yen Fern~" then suddenly she turned around and I'm like "whoa, she heard me!!" when reality is she turned because Maria was talking to her =__= so then I was like "YEN FEEEERN!!!" and she turned around and I was waving~~ but she didn't see me. Wye Mei said it's cuz we're sitting down on the ground and told me to stand so I did, hurriedly so that I can say bye to Yen Fern before her van leaves but then -BUNK- my head hit this sign we were sitting under XD so I missed saying bye to YenF. I noticed she turned around again, probably trying to see who called her but she turned back to the front =____="

got back home, died.


Correction, I found them on while searching for NIE pictures XD tried my best to avoid Tumblr ;) plus accidentally searched 'teddy bear', our old main topic until we realized we couldn't fit it under a theme lol. changed it to 'obsession', and I'm creative director again~! :D

was wondering if weheartit likes K-POP and....



Sunday, June 19, 2011


I was watching Lucky Star today when I remembered watching this. SO CUTE!!



I was on to search for a poem and type my lisan and check my email in case anybody got their NIE article done real quick, but I got stuck on Tumblr... you won't believe the amount of tabs... it was crazy... I regret putting endless scrolling... it was ENDLESS!! >.<

so here's the poem I decided to pick for Seni tomorrow, since we're doing calligraphy. I picked a short one, so that I can finish it off and relax afterwards.

and in BM too, just in case. plus my English ain't that great, who can understand classic English? =_= but there was this funny one about a room... I accidentally closed the tab though...

Aku menilai bukan dari 
keindahan paras rupa
tetapi dari ketulusan hati
aku jatuh cinta bukan dari
kemanisan tutur bicara
tetapi dari kejujuran kata-kata

Hadir kamu dalam hidupku
ku hargai sepenuh jiwa

Asalkan kejujuran menjadi teras
pasti cinta kan teguh terpatri

Nukilan : Nys Zairee

(ni mesti baru lepas belajar KH ni XP)

Also, a few pictures :D (a gift from Tumblr)

lol I had always thought DBSK's a bit 18sx XDD

which one are your eyes? ;)
(I think it only applies to girls though, cuz my brother is a Libra his eyes are like sepet.)

Best for the last XD


who else thinks Carlos is very very cute? XD I still prefer Logan though :P

Saturday, June 18, 2011


Been having weird dreams recently, every time I sleep on my own bed. They're too long to tell though, because my bed's one comfy bed. What I can tell you is that the first one was kinda scary, while the second one was kinda... weird, then there was a part that was scary. which was when we were stuck in Korea without passports. Even I knew I couldn't run around stalking idols wihtout a passport - we had to stay hidden in a village and work our way back.
it was quite an interesting story - let me tell you at a time when I'm not really disappointed with myself about my exam results while other kids are enjoying themselves, hurrah, number 4 in class. *coughs to Nadhrah*

I don't know what's wrong with me. why didn't I study like I should've? that's it. I have to be serious about this. I can't do this to myself. I've made the schedule, and yet I'm not following it. I spent more than 3 hours sleeping, then wake up to go online. I suck.
you guys, wish me luck to change :( this is not good for me.
I have to be strong.

which, has no connection to whatever I'm gonna talk about next. or maybe it does. probably partially the reason I've been slacking off. lol I'm not exactly immediately changing T_T if I was then I'd immediately get myself away from this computer and start on my piano homework, but no. lol.

this morning I had tuition. when I first arrived, there weren't many people, and after checking which class I'm supposed to enter, I stand next to Room C's door. soon, Erika came to me, told me to hold the name board (probably because I practically look like I'm working for Andrew - standing next to classes, telling kids to write their name, lol) then walked off, telling me to write my name, laughing. I laughed sarcastically. later when she took the board again she slapped my face manja-ly. bored la tu. I wonder if she even remembers my name =__=

after awhile I noticed Ain and Sya's name was there, so I asked Erika where they were and she told me the cafe. I was greeted with "I hate you"s. how sad is that? well apparently they were just 'hating' me because I got them addicted to Block B :P well, that's my job as a K-POP friend. and I know you actually love me for it XD so we started talking bout fan-fics when Ika SMSed me where I am, so we knew they were here. we walked off, ready to go to class. we were like "Where's Khairun??" then she got in. panjang umur.

so all this happened in a flash - all the form 3 students got ready for Sej-BM class, crowding Room C's door. then students got out from the class, including Nuryn and Jia Yi :D Jia Yi squished my face with her very cold hands and Nuryn showed her blue nails (because yesterday I was suffering the same thing- blue nails like a dead body T_T) hers weren't as blue as mine though. so I was talking to Nuryn while Jia Yi was squishing my face, so that was annoying but funny. then Erika came out of nowhere and pretend-punch my face. we laughed but later was awkward; lol where did she come from.

so suddenly my friends were all "Mane Elyna mane Elyna" and I was like whudd when I saw him. yess, I saw HIM. I was like 'Oh yeaa, can't miss 2 weeks without seeing YOU!' then they told me and I was like "yeaaaa *smilesmile*" then when we enter the class I realize he's going back home, so I hurried back out to Nuryn and was like "Nuryn Nuryn that's him!! behind you!" I tried to be as quiet as possible but I think I caught his attention >.<" oops.
"where? where?"
"tu tu, yang tu," I said, pointing to his back. so close, I could touch him. his hair was trimmed too short though. he was walking out of the centre.
"white shirt?"
"yea, white shirt."
and he was gone.

later when I got in class I got all nervous. did he hear? do you think he heard? do you think he cares? how did I look when he saw me? what if he thinks I'm gedik? urgh, that would be the worst! Suaidah noticed how restless I was, especially when I broke that pencil into two, and told me to chill - think about K-POP. and that got me cooled down.

what terrified me more was after class, Nuryn's LIPS were blue O_O I had never seen anyone so cold - must be because she wore short sleeve. reminder : never enter class with the least clothing you could ever have on and sit at the most right. it's probably the worst idea ever when it comes to AC tuition.


Thursday, June 16, 2011


About the guys, they aren't exactly good looking (yeah suuure, that's what I say now :P) and at first I liked the guy who sang first, but then Sya said she liked that one too, so second option is the red head. cuz his hair is red. Have a feeling he's main dancer xD


I wrote part of this during BM, when the other students were doing their lisan.


I don't know why, I just don't feel as nervous as I know other people are. It feels like it doesn't matter, and 80% of me is sure that I won't get picked. I've been through it so many times - I work hard, get all worked up but ends up things aren't as bad as i thought. People say, "What if?" I never went that far to think it through, and I guess I'm stupid that way. But when things come without warning, how are you gonna work your way through that? You wouldn't have the time to think about it. I guess you can say this is practice for me.

Unlike other people, only 5% of me is worried about this, and it's growing with the chances of me being picked. I guess it's not normal, but worrying gives wrinkles. And somehow I got the worst complexion in my class. Nice. It's like the more you try, the harder it gets for you.


Just now Shahira borrowed one of my lyrics, and she reminded me so much of my brother.
"Na, pinjam RM 5 jap. Nanti Bakmal kasi balik." Umm, yea Bakmal, that's the point of borrowing.

"Elyna, pinjam jap lyrics Again ni. Nanti I kasi balik."
It was painfully similar. (coincidently the song is playing on my phone now lol. i love my phone. it's so smart.) the no mentioning why exactly she's borrowing it, the no telling when she's gonna give it back, the intonation. the only different thing is the face - she had on her usual poker face, while Bakmal will put on his best fake smile.

So the reaction afterwards was automatic - I was annoyed. 75% of the time my brother borrows my money. So I gave her the same expression whenever he borrows money - totally pissed off. Then after letting her borrow the lyric, I said "You ni macam my brother la. Annoying." and see, that's where things went wrong.

Somehow a hate riot started against her. well it wasn't really a hate riot, more like an intervention (thank youu, HIMYM). Syarifah started asking her why she's obsessed with SNSD ("Because they're pretty!") and how it's not normal to be obsessed with girls ("I like boy groups too.."). I felt so kesian to her because later Ain agreed with Sya too. On the tip of my lips I was saying "Ala biarla die" but it didn't come out as clearly as their disagreement with Shahira's actions. I felt really bad, my heart tugging. I should've stuck up for her - I knew I was the only one there who wanted to other than Zulaikha. But for all I know she doesn't want to seem weak, or me sticking up for her would show that I'm on her side.

Okay I guess this is a bit private but no one reads my blog anyways (right? right?) or only my closest blogger friends and a cousin who doesn't know who the heck she is reads it, so yeah. I can say this.
During Japanese yesterday Yee sensei was saying how gay is accepted in Japan, and how it's biologically possibly because some guys just have more female hormones and some girls have more male hormones. then Zalikha showed to her sister, saying she has more male hormones (thankfully not to everyone). They treated it like a joke, but actually I felt bad. Like that's your sister la Zalikha =__=" then when Shahira went to the toilet she started talking bout how she's too obsessed with SNSD. so I asked her "you're bitching about your own sister?" "takde la it's just that it's true" but ya know, that's called fangirl-ing.

so later when I saw her somewhere she told me she'll give the lyrics tomorrow and I tried to be nice about it (because it reminds me of my bro again. "Esok, esok, promise.") so that I can apologize about calling her annoying. she said it's okay, her eyes darting off. I know that action - she's trying not to make eye contact. lol are you freaking kidding me I use it all the time - I hate eye contact. Because it shows what you feel. Sometimes I hate the fact that Shahira never says what she really means. Most people do that - it's annoying. When I try my best to either not say anything or just say the truth,  people just lie and avoid eye contact.

SPEAK THE TRUTH PEOPLE! whatever happens, it's probably for the best.

p.s, when I voiced this out to Xueh Wei she made me this thing spring thing she always makes and wrote there "HAKUNA MATATA , it means no worries for the rest of your days~" and another thing it said "SHINE bright" <3 I got some of the best friends in the world.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

taxi taxi taxi.

I love it when Sandeul's face is like this <3
he had this derp face in some performances. kyeopta~

heheheh they're just the cutest <3

I have a feeling I'm gonna love B1A4 for a LOONG~ time <3

Monday, June 13, 2011


so today school started. whee.
no I actually was glad school finally started. I was starting to forgot who I was - a student. I even forgot where my school clothes were. I was just glad in the end I found my tudung e__e

so yea, me and my K-POP friends are into Boyfriend now XD lol just the other day I said they weren't really my type. now I'm screaming over the fact that the maknae, the one that I liked, is a freaking '95er. LIKE, ONE YEAR OLDER THAN US. crazy, I know. Minwoo~~

Boyfriend~ :3

The one that I like:

Name : No Min Woo (노민우)
Birthday : 1995.07.31
Height : 174 cm
Educational Background : School of Performing Arts Seoul
- Appeared as student on MBC's Daily Sitcom "All My Love"


The ones that everyone love:

Name : Jo Kwang Min (조광민)
Birthday : 1995.04.24
Height : 180 cm
Educational Background : School of Performing Arts Seoul
- The younger brother from the twins *
- Appeared as student on MBC's Daily Sitcom "All My Love"
- Appeared on Sistar's "Push - Push" MV

Name : Jo Young Min (조영민)
Birthday : 1995.04.24
Height : 180 cm
Educational Background : School of Performing Arts Seoul
- The older brother from the twins *
- Appeared as student on MBC's Daily Sitcom "All My Love"
- Appeared on Sistar's "Push - Push" MV

(the blonde is older)

The one that I think I'll come to like:

Name : Hyun Seong (현성)
Birthday : 1993.06.09
Educational Background : Young Dong High School

Back to real life. Yen Fern gave me my belated birthday present (thanks a lot!! now I have to get you one too!! :I ). it was the cutest thing ever - a DOMO !!! hohoho, my own Domo-kun~~ hurr. 

lol I thought mom's webcam worked... apparently not. well it's an average Domo bear about 15-20 cm height, brown in colour. Gomawoyo, Yen Fern ah~ Saranghae~ XD Sorry for picking a fight with you... :(

when I got back home, I saw the drive way was empty. I still tried the bell though, just in case. apparently Bakmal went out. so I walked to my mom's office. when I got there everyone was surprised. I didn't ask anyone send me home though. Instead I slept in my mom's sofa after praying +_+ with Domo-kun~! XD it's a bit small to really hug like a pillow though, but it was there with me anyway lol. got back home at 4.30 and slept some more lol. was sleep-deprived from trying to finish my homework >.<

oh that reminds me! remember the homework I wanted to finish so badly? Pn. Ranchani gave us till Friday to finish. so nice~ :D 


Saturday, June 11, 2011

you're going DOWN.

Okay I didn't wanna do this but...


First of all I was called cute TWICE today. what is wrong with people?! once was when I was touched that my tuition friends would actually wait for my ride to come before going home themselves (but apparently their transport came early so I was left alone anyways T T) then Yen F called me cute on the cbox. people, you need glasses. I'm not cute.
(so technically you guys are talking about personality but whatever. so I actually feel really happy when someone calls me cute but so what. I'm not. cute.)

So YenFern, I wrote this somewhere last night, not in my diary or anything just... somewhere, because I couldn't get it out of my head - the fact that you called Jonghyun YOURS.
I wrote down a few points out of many others why you don't deserve Jonghyun as much as I do.
Sorry for being mean :P

  • I drew him. I doubt you drew him YenF, as far as my knowledge goes you can't draw.
  • I keep GIF's of him in my phone. I bet you don't know what GIF's are YenF, or even if you do you wouldn't know where to get them other than Google and those aren't even good ones.
  • I told Alya to buy me CNBLUE stickers and she told me majority of it is Minhyuk's (the drummer). because Eva likes him, I'm planning to give some to her. I share my love. therefore I make a better Jonghyun-owner.
  • I sing to their songs and know not just their main track, but also the whole album. including the Japanese mini albums. His voice is beautiful <3 I memorize some of their album songs, and Lie (Korean ver.) is my ringtone. I wanted to change it, but I couldn't stand not having to hear Jonghyun's voice everytime someone calls me. If I could play the guitar, I would learn their songs. in fact I asked Ayah to listen to their songs but Ayah wasn't about to support my fandom. 
  • I'm a BOICE. and YenF's a Cassiopeia. you have Jaejoong. don't be greedy.
  • I don't mind if he dates someone. If he's happy, I'm happy. I just can't stand it when a Cassie claims she owns him over a BOICE *raises eyebrow at YenF* = =
  • I don't just love him, I love CN BLUE and I love their music. 

Hope it's clear to you now, Yen Fern. It was just a dream. Get over it.


p.s, no offence yea Yen Fern-ah XD here's some Music Mondays by eatyourkimchi to make you feel better lol.

akhirnya membunuh ku.

It's hard seeing people live the dream you'll never get.


I guess I'm kinda sad right now. I haven't finished my homework, I didn't study other than in tuition, all my hopes of seeing him throughout this whole week is finally crushed into dust, I didn't draw anything, I didn't colour anything I scanned... I feel like this two weeks, I haven't achieved anything.

well this last few hours of today and tomorrow is the only time I got. I can't change anything, I can just improve the situation - by actually finishing my homework. I can't even think about really studying right now, if I don't finish my maths and memorize my lisan I'm gonna be dead this whole week, the only thing I'd be expecting is 4-6 on Friday, and if I don't see him, yet comes another week where I won't be enjoying myself.

the only thing I look forward to for school is getting that CN BLUE stickers I asked Alya to buy. now that my  savings is all used by my brother for reasons beyond my knowledge, I only have RM5, and I thought I had more. I'll have to starve for a month to save up again. I need topup. I can't wait for my brother. 90% of the time he never pays back. and yet I still respect him. I wonder why.

some people are so lucky, and yet they don't see it. remember peeps, there's always someone out there who's got it worse than you.


Friday, June 10, 2011


TaecSu (2PM) fan-fic. whatever Yen Fern I'm gonna ignore you forever about that Jonghyun thing. the only thing that matters right now is that this fan-fic is so effing funny. the silliest and cutest thing ever. PG-13 though, but whatever, I'm 15. and I have Logan Lerman, Yen Fern. Logan Lerman. freaking Percy Jackson. son of Poseidon. and and I got SHINee in my house. they freaking live with me. AND I GOT LEE JOON CUTS FROM OH! MY SCHOOL IN MY THUMBDRIVE. BE FREAKING JEALOUS.


--jealousy over-powering me--

Thursday, June 9, 2011

screaming forever.

YEN FERN!!!!!!!!
Jonghyun oppa...
He's mine...
yet I can't blame you for having that dream, he IS sexy T T

grrr. I haven't had a K-POP dream in a while. in fact, I actually haven't had a dream I can actually remember for a while. probably cuz my brain's trying to leave space so that I can memorize Science notes instead. sigh. those days are long gone~ can't wait for PMR to be over and done with T T

anyways, was stalking for a while just now. I knew it. Pumpkin cut her hair. I had a dream about this! (somehow I can remember that lol. maybe cuz after that dream I spent days wondering if I did really saw her with that awful haircut or not.) but that haircut wasn't like in my dream, the usual == people keep cutting their hair while I'm waiting for mine to grow longer! (mainly to cut it so that it looks better but still.)

wondering why Eva wanted me to online so much last night lol.

I'm sorry you got the---

--so don't call me no more~ *addicted*

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Cube is really good at making videos.

Ape lah SMEnt! buatlah video camni! LOL. but at least SM provided subs... here's the translation below:

Yoseob: ! (snap) doojun.. jihyun... nuna... one two three four.......... eleven! hi everyone!
Sohyun: oh? hi!!!
Doojoon: i'm sleeping
Gikwang: in the middle of make up... la..ter..
Jihyun: hi hi!
Yoseob: what are you guys doing on August 14?
G.Na: why? are you going to buy me something yummy?
Junhyung: i'm planning to be busy that day too
Jiyoon: please discuss any schedule with my manager
Yoseob: what~~ nobody knows this important thing?
Hyunseung: I do!!
HyunA: huh? what is it
Hyunseung: i'm not gonna tell~~you!! (meh-rong)

HyunA: meanie
Gayoon: hyunah! you know!!! Cube's summerfestival!!!
everyone: oh!

Yoseob: ding dong~~ correct!!... wait but why isn't Dongwoon answering at all?
Sohyun: isn't all members of Cube attending that event?
G.Na: i'm going too~~!!
Gikwang: me tooooooo~~!!
Doojoon: (evil face) let's all gooooooooooooooo!! oooooooooo~~ o yea~~
Gayoon: it's an outdoor event

Hyunseung: jamshil combined sports arena mini field (it's just the place)
Doojoon: dude! I could even play soccer!
Jihyung: here it goes.. soccer!!
Yoseob: Doojoon it's not that~ it's not soccer~
Doojoon: ok;;;;
Junhyung: i heard they are opening a fantastic fantasy land this time
everybody: oooo~~
HyunA: i can't wait!!
Gayoon: pitter patter
Yoseob: kongdakkongdak (heart beating sound)
Doojoon: bul lung bul lung (another heart beating sound)
Yoseob: *weird laugh*
Yoseob: wait.. why is Dongwoon still not answering? has anybody seen dongwoon?
Hyunseung: he's not present within my two meter radius
Junhyung: dongwooooon~~~!!
HyunA: dongwoon oppa~~~!!
Gikwang: i can't see (literally)
Yoseob: dongwoonwooowow
Dongwoon: ayy what?
Gayoon: he's here!!
G.Na: here!
Doojoon: it's dongwoon!
Yoseob: where are you?
Dongwoon: right behind you
Yoseob: behind?
Dongwoon: I was filming
Yoseob: oh~ hey hey august 14th is
Dongwoon: fantasy land..
Yoseob: yea..
Dongwoon: united cube..
Yoseob: uh huh
Dongwoon: see you then bye ~
Can't wait for episode 2 lol.

say no no no no.

wow, Tumblr keeps me busy *__* better close the tab while there's no new posts. anyway.
thanks a lot Xueh Wei. now I feel like I should change my layout. sigh. I wonder where I can get nice ones >.<"


is this how it feels like to have a migrane? feels like the pressure in my head is so high that juice is gonna come out of my brain. I hate it. I think it's because of my inconsistent sleeping time. sigh.

anyway, yesterday I went to Chloe's house to do our NIE. when I arrived, Xueh Wei was already there. Chloe's apartment wasn't so far away from my house actually :3 although if you look around from my house you'd think it's impossible there's an apartment around lol. cuz it was on a hill.

so at first me and Xueh Wei was all fangirling about Ryan Higa and Xueh Wei got all offended when I said I liked Kevin better. Kay fine, Ryan's the better entertainer, and video editor, but Kevin is still very cute XD talking about cute guys, LOGAN LERMAN! Feel like reading the books now after watching Percy Jackson on Star Movies :D LOGAN IS TOO CUTE~~~

ehem, back to topic. so after a while we did some stuff online and discussed on our topics and all. Yes, we just decided on our topics yesterday. thanks to Xueh Wei for helping figure it out. then Sarah came, and we started doing real business >) well... sort of.

We did the header, which was BEAUTIFUL, then Xueh Wei was working on the cover, thanks to Picnik :D but we didn't do anything else... lol. no articles, no comics, no anything. that was it - the header. we decided both magazines would be the same name - Wings, and we even had a tag line and a nice picture Xueh Wei got from Tumblr. should've copied into my pendrive. cis.

I need to get started on my homework. I mean, a REAL start. hafal lisan BM, finish off maths... I wonder if other classes got homework... I don't see Yen Fern or Eva blogging about homework (other than tuition) ...

so that was yesterday. today, went to tuition again, and went to room A, cuz we know Sya's crush (F Guy is what they call him. but his name's Naquib. WHEN am I gonna find out his name?!) was there. later Asyraaf SMSed Khairun and asked where she was, and from room E he changed class lol. he wasn't there. but later I told Nuryn his friend was there.

"So you'd expect to see him when he's around?"

"Well not really, they're not that close anymore..."

"How do YOU know?"

Of course la I know! I'm an observer!! I observe situations and make acceptable conclusions to them!!
"They don't sit with each other anymore.."

in class Syarifah kept dropping stuff on the floor. I said "sebab nervous kut, duduk satu kelas dengan die." that awkward moment when Sya's pencil box fell and the guy in front of her helped pick up her calculator and saw there was a picture of Gikwang stuck on it XDD after that the guy didn't help anymore. what la.

during break we went out to buy 'breakfast'. when we got back Khairun told us Asyraaf winked at her and I'm like "EEE, lol, gilenye.. pervert kut" Sya laughed to my response. I know it's offensive, but winking's for like, middle aged perverts. if anyone winked at me I'd give him a smack. okay well not really but still.

after class Nuryn was all "I'm so hungry >~<" so she went to Secret Recipe to go buy something. like, Baker's Cottage was right behind us! Banyak sangat duit ke?! so after a while when everyone got back from buying topup I went to check out Nuryn. she actually bought two slices of cake T~T she said her mom gave her the money, so beli jelah. pepandai je.

outside Khairun told me dari tadi Asyraaf dolak-dalik lalu kat diorang tapi tak datang tegur. she called him "pengecut" XD guys. *shakes head*


Tuesday, June 7, 2011


My fav song from "Let's Fly" debut album :)

Alya's post lol XD Jae... adorable you... *pinches cheeks*

so tuition today. Sya got to see the guy she likes, for a second or so, didn't see him, probably went for 11-2. Nuryn's first class, I think she would adapt soon :) she seems to like Andrew's offensive jokes, but doesn't get Ms. Chow's kecoh-ness. it's fine, I didn't get it at first neither. in fact at first I was all "okay wtf this woman??"

anyways, Andrew gave us this form where the questions were... really interesting. I liked it. It makes analyze my satisfaction to life. it was specially for Secondary School students, to see how satisfied they are with their life. the student was a Psychology student. makes me interested in taking it lol. my mom would think I'm crazy. but it's an interesting topic, ya know. research on the human brain.

This really suits the mood here lol.

Monday, June 6, 2011

lol I love this picture.

Khun's like what is wrong with these people...?
Taec's like oo a camera I must be in it and I must be cute~!
Junsu's like hello~ I'm smexy and I love trolling... ;]



From Xueh Wei's blog.


Huwaah, I can't believe the amount of days I stopped stalking @_@ trolling, I did like last Thursday, but stalking the FB page... I totally missed out on all the activities! Yen Fern! what movie were you supposed to watch? :D Diary of a Wimpy Kid? I wanted to watch that!!!

anyway, during the weekends while my friends probably went out to watch movies, I was stuck going to weddings. the first one was my cousin's wedding. me and my bro was all emo at first, then the heat sort of turned that to a bit of anger and impatience. meaning, the only positive attitude I had that day was layaning my aunts and uncles and attempts at talking to my beloved cousins.

the reason we were emo? well, imagine all your friends talking bout how their cousins call them and talk to them, when your own cousin won't even say hi?

the place where we met our cousins was this awesome chalet place thingy where the houses were like real kampung houses - all wooden and no chairs. so Bakmal told me on our way to the beach that one day, he HAS to come here with his friends. well, by the time he'd have the money the place would have shut down already lol.
then I told him this place would be great for a Family Day. then he said "Siape family kita Na?"
Hmm, betul gak, I thought at the time.

I wondered why I didn't go and talk to my cousins. I guess I had no idea what to say. it's been three years since I caught up with them.

When we got home, I told mom that the only cousin that talked to me was Nurin and Kak Ain, and Kak Ain doesn't even count cuz she's studying abroad now. mom told me that I shouldn't care, what they have is inferiority complex. she says in BM it's "rendah diri" and I was like, rendah diri in English is humble but whatever. the way I describe them is "sombong tak menempat". for a more exact definition :
I don't it's that serious though XD I don't know how mom got this conclusion. I'm not saying anything, but anyone can be friends. or even, talk to each other. I don't look down on them. they're human.
urgh, I really hate my cousins. no, I just hate the fact they won't talk to me anymore, that group of cousins of mine.

so the next wedding was in FELDA :) it was the first time I entered a FELDA area, and it's really... what I've sort of imagined it would be lol. oh yeah, I'm using the bride's computer now :) Selamat Pengantin Baru Kak Siti~ sorry guna computer, but I have to use it today, Kak Siti balik hari Rabu XD lepas ni dah takleh gune dah... :P

the funniest thing was... there was nenas growing behind our car where we parked XD and the amount of mercun... I wonder where they got those... I guess they never raid government area. and also, Umar had a great time since there was a lot of kids. and we sort of had fun watching them play. too bad there weren't any guys my age though. they were all too young lol.

weddings weddings. I wonder what mine would be like. I've always wanted blue as my theme colour, but what is the guy wants blue? then I'd have to take yellow... or green... or purple... I don't want red or pink though... I hope the guy doesn't pick purple, that's one thing for sure.


Friday, June 3, 2011

top 3 music videos of the moment.

because they're the only ones I can think of is really great right now.

and thanks to technology, all these videos are available in HD! :D

But before that, since everybody posted at least one of his transformation in their blogs...
How can this kid :

Be this hottie:


And just saying, I cried when I watched Fiction. I think Doojoon cried to at the bridge there too. Sigh.


oh hey.

Look who's at my front gate.
I'm coming, yeobo~!


can't wait for tuesday.

firstly, Jen Li posted this thing XD like who is that? it can't be Taemin can it? haha XD too hot and smexy and mature lol.

secondly, I had tuition today. the day before I commented somewhere that I had to go for 11-2 because there was blue house practice. apparently only Zulaikha read and commented back 'okay'.

then that night I was helping Kak Ain with some stuff for a wedding when I started wondering out loud if I should go for blue house practice and after I ranted on how useless it is, Kak Ain agreed I didn't really have to go (even if Fifi said if we wanna win we have to come to practice. like, how does this one practice affect whether we win or not? =__=). so the next morning, 8.30 am, I was rolling around in bed.

so around 10.30am, I called Syarifah to ask if she was coming for 11-2, but when she said "call nantila" I knew it. she went for 8-11. and since Sya is never alone (trust me somehow she never goes alone. unlike me, who always turns up sitting by myself every once in awhile) obviously Ain and Dina was there too. This was only confirmed when I arrive at the centre and they came out. I can't believe I even had the smallest hope that the others were coming at 11-2.

but of course, Ika came as she promised :) but see, today is a Friday.

and the only time I remembered today is a Friday, is about ten minutes after I saw him.

I was walking towards the stairs of the centre, half-heartedly, when he was coming out, big smile on. my heartbeat went *dupdup* once then I reminded myself to keep cool (lol). so then I went into the classroom all upset. I mean, the other day my friends went for 11-2 and he was there. why did he go in the morning this time? then it struck me.

it's Friday.

I slapped my forehead (nampak cam orang gile pun ade gak, ketuk kepala sengsorang kan haha). so stupid. so so stupid.

later when Ika came I told her about this. then she told me "Azzam datang."
OMG. lol.
I turned back, and there was Azzam.
me and Ika looked at each other, laughed, then Andrew came in.

as usual Andrew couldn't stick to the topic so somehow he was talking about how this morning they had a big crowd because all the Malay guys were going for prayers. later after break Azzam told Ika he was leaving at 1. if not for Andrew, I don't think he would've remembered.

Apparently, Cikgu Deen remembered today was a Friday, so this weird teacher who was super strict came in as a replacement. so Azzam didn't go. when asked why he didn't ask for permission, he said cuz the other Malay guy didn't go neither. lerr, ingatkan Cina. Malay guys are too light-skinned these days. makes me feel embarrassed. except for him. nasib he's the dark type.

so technically, I had caused Azzam to miss his prayers.
because technically, Azzam would've followed Ika if she went for 8-11.
and technically, I was the one who asked Ika to go for 11-2.
but apparently, I didn't even go for the practice.
and actually, I was using that as an excuse to go for 11-2 class so that I'll be in class with him.
which apparently he didn't go to, because it was a Friday.

well, at least I got to see him.
and I passed by him.
and I know he goes for Solat Jumaat (bangga sikit en).

totally worth it, right?

Ou- OH wait, about Tuesday!

Nuryn Lyana's coming for 11-2 on Tuesday! :D yep, she's attending Andrew Choo! woohoo!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

seven one oh.

...did you guys notice?

anyway these aren't actually my type of guys, they're quite long faced but HEY, they're still kinda cute :) these are like, the future big titles, I can tell already. the rookies like Infinite, Teen Top, B1A4, this group... erk, Boyfriend (weird name lol, plus coincidently the title of the song? don't think so.) they're like, the next generation. gotta get ready :)


Wednesday, June 1, 2011


...why is she hugging Sandeul?
it was the whole B1A4 btw. grrrrr.


YenF you shouldn't have.
well maybe you should've XD
no really you shouldn't e_e