and the only thing you can do left is blog.
So I told my mom, I really did, because she asked me. I already got the speech where she tells me why it's so important to get straight A's in PMR. That's why I was so moody yesterday. This morning, she acted like everything was fine, she forgave me. But then she comes to school all pissed to take my results.
I greeted her with a smile - weirdly after over an hour waiting for her and I finally decide to hang outside 3C with Ika (who was waiting for her mom who was talking to Idah's teacher) and then she came. Then Yen Fern and Eva came and before we got to talk about stalking Ika was all "Elyna your mom! your mom dah datang!!" so I had to go.
and do you know how she responded to my smile? this freaking scary face that looks like she's about to kill me. or maybe the least, slap my head off. I shriveled and slipped my way to the seat where the students were supposed to sit and teacher motioned my mom her seat. and my mom started teasing me hands first.
"So macam mane keputusan teruk anak saya?"
I can't believe I actually cried. I haven't cried in awhile, not even in my own room. I'm sick of listening to mom telling me how much I've disappointed her. Does she think I don't know? She's told me like a million times and every single time I feel bad about it. And she keeps saying that my future's dull now. WTF? This wasn't even PMR. When I cried she said "nangis kemudian dah tak gune dah." and I was like, kemudian? This is NOT the end. this ISN'T PMR. I told her to just not say anything anymore (the nicer way of saying shut up) I don't wanna listen. Everything she's saying I've heard. I don't need it, I know. That was the past, and I'm trying to change. Don't compare to Bakmal, we're two different people. and you know he's much more messed up then I am.
urgh. who would understand.