Saturday, July 30, 2011


you guys should go to my brother's profile on Facebook. his name is Nur Akmal; just go to my profile and look at my family, he's listed as my brother. scroll down a bit and you'll see a picture of a black box with two cigarette sticks on it.

let me explain. last night when we went to Midvalley for Abang's birthday, we stopped by Guardian and I'm guessing my mom saw this and decided that it's perfect for my brother. it was so funny, but obviously no one laughed. when I saja-saja asked what is this out loud he said it's for eating and laughed it off.

then I saw this, memang kelakar. I can't stop giggling. my mom can be funny in certain ways.


Friday, July 29, 2011

i feel like crying right now.

Eva-chan, if you haven't, go check my status. it's about your blog post.

well I know that who ever lost on the first round of them handball game felt bad, but I think it gave a worse affest to 3E because, well, we were the first to lose. pagi-pagi lagi dah kena hantar balik pergi kelas, walking the walk of shame, while 3F is cheering for their first win, and 3C looking over us, half pitying us, half nervous. 3G was busy practicing, not knowing that it will all go to waste.

when we went back to class, everyone looked disappointed, even students who didn't play, like me. we lost by 3-1, and the one score was by Divyia. she tried cheering us up by saying that at least we scored one goal, but I know deep inside she wished she would've gotten more goals for our class.

so we moved on with life - there's no use crying over spoiled milk. later when we got back to class we heard the other results - 3G lost to 3C, 3A lost to 3D and 3B lost to 3H. so the next game was 3C vs. 3F and 3D vs. 3H. secretly I wished 3C won, even though Ika is in 3F, because some students told us a few days before the game that we'll lose and we'll have Pn. R's class. there's nothing wrong with Pn. R. no one really knows that Pn. R isn't all bad unless you're in her class, so we consider that as a mock. ever since then, we were determined to beat 3F.

and 3C won. yes. they actually tied but then there was this penalty thingy - I'm not really sure since I'm not really the sports type har. then we heard 3H beat 3D (I'm so sorry Eva. but baka la you! you have an injured finger and you still played?! haish. babo yah!!). then 3H beat 3C, then Laxmi passed by our class and whispered to Nuryn "3H cheated."

really it's not nice to bitch about people, but when we heard what the others said, we felt really bad. "they punched and kicked us... they ran with the ball... (really no one cares if you run with the ball anymore) and Cik N was the referee and their class teacher, of course she'd let her win!" when I asked Ain about this she said they didn't do it, but then she wasn't playing and didn't really watch so.

well today was the award giving ceremony and we had to thicken our ears and cheer for Hormat, because Ain and Aina are both from 3H. and today was so full of surprises. just before recess, I saw Adline pass by our class, holding something on her forearm, and then the bell rang and Ida came to my class and told us there's gonna be an injection.

really, it was so weird that 3C got the jab first, but later they went alphabetical order. I can't even remember the name of the disease. sometimes it feels like our parents don't even care about what disease. "an injection? will it hurt? does it have a complicated name? okay then. *sign* " then suddenly after the recess bell rang, there was an announcement that there's gonna be an award-giving ceremony for Bulan Kecergasan. it's all so shocking, that us 101 girls sang 'Shock' for a while.

tuition was okay. I lost hope for Ashraf. as usual  - I knew this would happen - this was just another one of those crushes that ends with nothing. but things weren't dull at all. we were all laughs, and we found a spider! it's so unique~ it's green and we decided to call it Lime. if it survives until tomorrow, it'll be our pet! :D but we confirmed that our debut single will be titled 'LIME'. heh. power la kitorang ni (perasan moment).

had headaches while doing graph of functions, although Ms Chow seems to really like my graphs heh. during my second or third graph out of six that we had to finish before we leave, I was trying to make a curve when suddenly the table shook, causing my 'curve' to look more like a 'vibration'. annoyed, I rolled my eyes and asked who was erasing so hard. it turned out to be Ida, and since we all shared one long table, the whole table shook when she erase. so every time Ida shook the table, we called out 'earthquake, earthquake~'

went out for dinner for Abang's birthday, but didn't feel the usual excitement we usually do. I can feel this family breaking apart already. Bakmal, please don't leave me alone...

p.s, Memoirs of a Geisha is a real page-turner, I can't stop reading it. Aiming to finish it before next Wednesday, meaning I read it in a week! :D
p.p.s, I changed my mind about divorcing Sammie! I think its because I feel threatened that she's younger than me but very much taller than me, but she's just too cute! plus she spasm in a very unique way in which even I can't explain nor try to do it myself, because its impossible for anyone else but Sammie to do.

Thunder of MBLAQ with his kitty <3 I think its name is Doong.. heh

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

takutnye Q_Q

'marriage'. sigh. so many people are 'married' these days. well not that many but ya know, when Eva was all manja-manja with her yeobo (Yen Fern) I was so jealous. I wanna manja-manja with someone too~

So last period I asked omma who I should marry. First choice was Nuryn and I was liked "NO~! She's my deskmate, she's like my close pal~!" then they started suggesting people like Ika and Ida and it's weird cuz like they're my friends I don't wanna marry them -,- then they started naming people who I don't even know well and I can't manja-manja with people I don't know well!

then suddenly Eva and Lavynia passed by the class and I think Eva was looking at me so I stared back until they were out of sight and just before they went out of sight Lavynia waved at us. "How bout her?" omma asked. I knew she'd ask.

"But I don't know her that well~" I could feel Nuryn looking at me, knowing how I feel. Then I went to ask Eva something but then there was a teacher in her class so I went back. we tried thinking of other people, then I whispered to omma "Actually I would love to marry Lavynia."

"Then you should!" omma reassured me.
"Who? The girl who waved? her name's Lavynia. she's in the orchestra." said Khairin, who keeps telling me she's my biological father. I don't believe her. I know I got Xueh Wei's blood. Omma told her that I knew that, that I knew all that (har). so I told her then I'll have to wait awhile, cuz I'll have to know her.

I mean, who randomly asks a person if that person would marry him/her without even knowing each other really well?
well if you guys have read the cerpen Hikayat Mat Jenin...

well whatever. later I met Sammie Tan, a junior and asked her "...Didn't I propose to you the other day?" and she suddenly remembered too. with Eva and a random junior's help, we decided that I'm the wife and Sammie's the guy. before she left she said "Bye wai-fu~" which is weird and totally different from Eva and YenF... they're always hugging all the time.. huhuhu my hubby doesn't like hugging T T

I'm thinking of divorcing Sammie soon... I know she didn't do anything wrong, but since we're in different forms it'll be hard to see her even once a week. plus our friendship holds onto choir (which I'm contemplating whether to rejoin next year or not) and drawing, so it's not very strong. I'm not sure though, maybe I'll just wait awhile and maybe she'll forget and it'll all be okay. but sometimes things like this aren't easy to forget T_T I;ll just explain to her after PMR.. that should be the best time.

haish. fifteen and thinking of divorces. I told my mom I don't ever wanna get divorced though, cuz real divorces are harsh and hurtful and complicated. 'divorce' right now is just like a minor break up from a relationship that wasn't even real, and based on virtual bonds.

well my dad is being annoying right now. btw I'm reading Memoirs of a Geisha - cuz I want to. heh.


Monday, July 25, 2011


Semua tengah ketawa-ketawa (paling teruk Ika). All because of Lee Joon riping his pants. Korang ni. Video tu tak best la. Diorang censored. Kalau tak censored kan lagi best.

Anyway. us 101 girls (plus Shahira) stayed back to study. last-last we just concluded our study and spent most of the time fangirling. rasanye Shahira lah virus nya. we were just fine before lol. jk.

I printed piano sheets (Sad Memories by Seungho MBLAQ and Without U by 2PM) and I planned with Eva to use the piano tomorrow (since there won't be Japanese class). I don't want it to be just the two of us, so anyone, just join in! XD


Sunday, July 24, 2011

who are these humans.

*All criticism is for entertainment purposes and not to pull Super Junior down. No offence intended. (I mean, I love SuJu too!!)


as we all know, I started off liking K-POP with Super Junior. maybe you don't, but now you do. well recently had been releasing their 5th album comeback solo pictures and I haven't been interested enough to look, although all my friends told me to cuz they look terrible.

do they? well. let's start of from the worse to the best.

what's wrong with his hair? it looks familiar but I'm not bothered to think real hard, but I believe it used to belong to a woman. 
Leeteuk is also wearing two coats, which should be accepted knowing the temperature in South Korea, but then it's both really thick coats, like the one you usually wear outside a jacket or a hoodie. plus, it's summer.
and look, he's wearing rope around his abs! that's just great. he looks like he's tied up to a railroad - with rainbow~

Eunhyuk is making a comeback as Cinderella. seriously.
see? the tiara. the dress. the blonde hair.
I mean the hair isn't that bad (if it wasn't covering his eyes fully) but she he really looks like she's he's cosplaying as a girl. the tattoos doesn't make him look any manlier - they're freaking roses.

I know Donghae's my bias in SuJu, but I have to be honest right? I mean since he's my bias I have to be most raged about his look anyway.
well it's not as bad as Leeteuk, but I hate his hair. I mean I loved Mir's double shade in Stay (MBLAQ) but this double shading is just wrong. I hate the colour, I hate the cut. (But Hae's eyes still smexy :D)
Another thing I hate is fur jacket. not because it's totally carnivorous, but because it's totally lame (in my opinion). very unstylish.
third is the rings. just lose two and you're okay.

The hair isn't that bad on Sungmin, I'm used to seeing him with it. but I prefer his fringe.
My biggest problem with this is the fishnet. firstly, if your reason of using fishnet is to show off his body, then you should consider where you put the 'Junior'. secondly, Sungmin doesn't have a perfectly shaped body. people won't gush over his body. try putting on Leeteuk, maybe he'll look good in it.
next is just the gun. you don't put guns in track pants. just saying.

since I can't see his hair, it's a bit unfair so I put Shindong second last. 
not much comments, except the background makes him look more like a diva then a .. guy with a gun?

Kyuhyun should consider smelling his armpit during a photoshoot.
not much comments, except I hate curly hair. but it's better than Donghae (apparently T_T).

well there's people who look okay and some that look like they dressed up in the dark (Seriously, ropes? how much crazier can you get?). SM seems to like weird things on their artists lately. especially SuJu - maybe cuz they know people will still love them no matter what. I mean the look at SuJu-M's latest comeback, they got feathers on themselves everywhere, and those crazy hats are just weird. but after a while people eventually accepted it.
I wonder how the rest will look like >.< I heard Kibum is joining their comeback! :D best best. now we just have to wait for Kangin. Hangeng dah takde harapan.

going shopping for Baju Raya Day 2 tomorrow! also, Abang's birthday present (this Friday) and Tudung Day 1 :3 Everyone (except Kak Ain, cuz she's pregnant) got their Day 1 outfits already. the theme is orange-y! :D I'll be skipping study group tomorrow so I hope it's worth it.
mom told the route plan just now and I'm not that happy cuz we're visiting Segamat on the 3rd day. Segamat best la. I love all the trees and the peacefulness~ and usually the third day we're wearing jeans, so then there's no Raya feel to it anymore... :(


Friday, July 22, 2011

i have no title for this.

I don't know.
You keep finding your way back into my head.

I don't know.
When the hell I'm going to finish this Sejarah Powerpoint. It's already past Friday. is Cik Tan gonna get in trouble because of me? Shit.

I don't know.
things seem to be going downhill.


recently I've been hearing the words "sekolah asrama" a lot lately. Ever since I entered form 2, I KNEW I would never leave Sri Aman for boarding school. I would miss all my friends too much. Then earlier this year Hanis told me she's going to a boarding school next year, and she wants me to follow her. I wasn't sure, but my friends told me to concentrate on PMR. and now, the thought of going to boarding school is back to linger in my head.

thing is, a lot of people say going to boarding school if fun, and you get new experiences. and there you can concentrate on studying - there's no distractions.
but there's also disadvantages. like one thing I noticed (not to be racist) but the population of boarding schools of mostly Malays. not that I don't like being around my own race. I mean hey, it's my race, I should be proud but I like seeing things from another perspective. I mean, I have a lot of non-Malay friends and I like the variety - at least I have a wider point of view.
and another thing is that I got a bunch of friends I don't wanna leave here in Sri Aman. so many friends that love it here in Sri Aman too, and don't see the need to change. but then there are a few friends who are willing to go to boarding school and leave their friends. I know back in form 1 I would've loved to go to a boarding school, but I think I've valued the meaning of 'friend' from the past two years.

I don't know how to summarize this up. I should probably just think about studying right now.

Ashraf didn't come today. it's okay though. I'll probably pass by him tomorrow as he fills up his missing class. the sad thing was when Khairun told me she broke up with Asyraaf.

my first reaction (as a typical blod B type) was "what relationship did you guys have to start with?" cuz she keeps telling me that Asyraaf had asked her to be his girlfriend * times and it's killing him and all that like, since when did you finally decided that you guys are finally 'official'?
but then she tells me "no actually we got into a relationship.. tapi dah break up dah" that girl never tells us anything.. I asked her why and she told me it's cuz she doesn't want to lie to Asyraaf anymore, she doesn't have feelings for him like she did before.

funny how feelings can run out so easily. I wonder how heart broken Asyraaf actually is. I mean, he could not care or he could be really upset about it. can't tell though, his FB page seems like he hasn't been online a lot.

next guy, Alief Uzair.
I bet you guys would go like "hey, this name's familiar~!" well he's quite (repeat quite, I mean I didn't know about him up until recently) popular among Sri Aman girls. I don't see why though to me he's not that attractive. just added him on FB. see, a classmate of mine says that she thinks she likes this guy cuz he looks so much like a guy she used to like. I'm not mentioning who cuz she said "whatever is said in this four tables STAYS in this four tables!" so I think I should spare the name. if you guys know this dude tell me, cuz I wanna do research on why he's so quite popular. I mean seriously, his profile picture can't make him look uglier.

I'm sorry classmate-who-I-can't-mention-the-name-of-here. maybe it's just the picture, and he's better looking in real life?

sigh, I feel left behind in studying. I should study more.


0:47 is my fav part. although it's scary, it gives the whole boring I-have-a-suckish-life-cuz-I'm-blind plot a little thrill. let's admit it, that's the only part that actually makes us wanna watch the movie.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

i can't remember.

does anyone else remember how it was like back then?

I don't think I remember how it was like back in SSP. I remember back in form 1 mom told me "you seem happier now in Sri Aman." I didn't even notice. But I know I don't think I smiled this much ever since me and Cynta stopped being best friends. she used to make me laugh everyday, until standard 6 and we got into a fight. I couldn't even remember what it was about until the other day I read my old diaries and it sort of reminded me a bit. I mean,she's not a bad person. but I hated her so much back then.

I guess when you stop having things in common, you just break away from each other.

I don't even know why I'm writing this probably cuz Yen Fern told me to update XD what's been going on hmm? well we haven't being going to class because of "Pecutan Akhir PMR" but tomorrow P&P as usual :( I'll have to finish my BM homework...

Have to go now.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

i miss you - not. / HOW TO MAKE CUSTARD~! (Lynn M ver.)

A fw weeks ago, I was feeling down, like no one really needs me in this world. It feels like everyone has a life, a pal and I'm here, just blank. So I was wondering what would've happened if you never moved to Ampang. I thought, she'd probably still my close friend, if not best. So I went to your wall, and told you I missed you.

You replied talking about how you're on a big debate competition and how fun it is and all. Are you heartless, I thought then.

But things got better. I felt like I finally have something to do with the opportunities I got, and I'm not missing that much anymore. It's okay, I can move on, I don't need you.

Then you post on my wall "sup lyna,imy ;("
what do you expect me to post on your wall?

"Oh hey, nothing's much is on, just great friends who's there if I need them and would actually listen to me, a cute guy I'm crushing on at tuition, and doing what's important."
But I'm not heartless.


So the custard is made!! God, I love the smell of the evaporated milk after heating~
I tasted it a bit just now and it's a bit tasteless and slightly acidic from the fruit cocktail but hey, I think it'll taste better as a dessert with ice!

So this is what you guys need:

  • custard powder (the measurements are based on the amount of servings)
  • evaporated milk
  • sugar
  • any other ornaments you guys would like to have! we got fruit cocktail and raisins, and we added canned sweet corned in the custard mixture.
so first, pour a cup (or whatever measurements you're using) of custard powder and seven cups of water (tap is fine) and mix well. put in a teaspoon of condensed milk (dunno why but my mom did it). you'll get this liquidy mixture, and it should turn orange at touch. if it's not, check to see if you bought corn flour instead of custard powder like my dad did!! silly dad. waster like 20 minutes mixing it until mom told to check the tin lol.

so then put it under fire at high heat (is this correct English lol?) and mix.  DON'T STOP MIXING. I have no idea why. the point of it is to crystallize the mixture, so when it starts to harden it won't lump. while doing that, you can also heat the evaporated milk. my mom added a pandan leaf so that it'll smell good :) I'm not sure if other people pour milk on their custards but that's how we do it in this household ;) wait for it to bubble and let it cool. 

so when the mixture is still on the fire, that's when I add the sweet corn. I dunno if anyone adds anything else. I mean this is the easier, homemade zaman prasejarah version so. when the mixture is thick and mixed well, you can stop mixing :)
while it's still hot, pour in the mixture (CAREFULLY, cuz it's hot. I care for you guys lol) into .. glasses? cups? nutshells? your choice of size. jangan sebaldi pula eh. leave it to cool in a tray of cold water :) my mom did this at first but flies started coming and the cool water soon became room temperature so we stuck it inside the fridge. 

to serve, just tip the container of the custard mix over into a bowl and add the milk. we added raisins and fruit cocktail on top, but just now my mom told me you can put raisins inside the mixture too! (like the corn) my brother who had these when he was at my level of experimenting added ice too, so it's cooler and suits the Malaysia temperature more :) 

I wish I had the time and money to experiment more~ I just had a peek of the custard recipes online and they add a lot more milk than custard powder XD hmm, maybe I'll get married to someone really smart and he'll do his PhD at US and I can use that time to experiment with custards. then when I get back to Malaysia I'll be  like the custard pro and I'll ask my kids to ask their friends if they'd like to order custards, and I'll make it as a side earning. then I'll write a book about a girl who made custards and had a custard shop and one day a boy came to the shop and became a loyal customer and they'll fall in love and get married. sigh~ <3


Saturday, July 16, 2011

the story I'm so familiar with.

My version, it could be fiction or non-fiction. I'll tell you guys this story someday, when I can trust all of you. but not now. I gotta make pudding :)

today, my mom is fasting and suddenly after we all ate lunch she said to me "Na, jom buat something petang ni. Kuih ke." I was thinking in the range of pisang goreng to cenkodok pisang, but then kuih could be anything, like seri muka or pulut panggang. but then my mom suggested 'custard'. 

That's the first picture you'll get of a custard if you Google it. but the 'custard' in my mind that first appeared when you Google it is:

Looks like I was off by a letter.
Anyway, I haven't eaten mom's homemade custard for years! Truthfully, my mom is such an experienced cook. I won't say she's the best, but she's awesome. Mostly it's cuz she can cook a variety of dishes, from traditional Malay dishes (like her specialty, Laksa Johor) to Western dishes (she's always telling me how she used to cook lasagna and all that. well, used to, mom. can you make one for me now?). 

The reason to this is back when my dad was studying in US my mom didn't have a job. her time was taken over by taking care of me, who came a year after my dad started studying there. so, feeling lonely and bored, she decided to occupy her time by learning how to cook Western food. She would come over to American friends' houses and learn how to make stuff that doesn't involve meat in it. then she'd come back home, experiment and the rest is history.

so when I was younger my mom used to make corn custard, which I'd always called pudding, cuz I was a kid and I had no idea about culinary stuff. in fact I'm so un-educated bout culinary stuff I still, apparently call it pudding (until today). 
so yeah, today we're gonna make corn custard! just like the old days :) specially for my mom's breaking fast later. now I'm just waiting for my mom to call me down. I really should be doing my homework


Friday, July 15, 2011

Simon don't even think about it!

'Hatiku mula panas. Aku memang sudah lama berbulu dengan Cik Dugong. Seboleh-bolehnya tidak mahu bertegur sapa. Sejak kematian lakinya, Ngah Dugong tempoh hari, ia bukan main ligat lagi. Pantang nampak jantan lalu lalang, mulalah tersengih-sengih tidak tentu fasal. Aku tunggu kesempatan saja berlakunya kesilapan. Dan, sekarang dia cuba pula menasihatkan aku yang bukan-bukan. Bengkak aku dibuatnya.'

my fav paragraph from cerpen 'Dugong'.


How was the movie, omma and appa? I know you guys are celebrating appa's birthday without me, but I wanna go watch a movie with you guys one day too~!
And I also wanna watch HPDHP2 tomorrow night! Hopefully Abang ajak tengok so that mom wouldn't mind XD



  • decided on room arrangements for 101's dorm. Sya (leader) gets a single bed but shares the master bedroom with Khairun and Ika (who shares a bunk bed). me and Ida shares a bunk bed in room1 and Ain and Aina shares a bunk bed in room2. 
  • had seni - Yap Eva, super awesome artist senior was doing her course work!!
  • I was nervous but with Xueh Wei on my side, I braven myself up to ask Eve for comments on my latest drawing of 101!! >w< and she was totally cool about it! she even told me later she felt so terharu :'3 
  • Good comments : she likes how I draw clothes, and my hands and feet are okay for my age. Bad comments : I should work on my stroke so that it doesn't look too sketchy and it'll be easier to colour.
  • she even added me on Facebook! XD lol
  • sat between Shahira and Zalikha for Japanese (oh yeah we STILL haven't found out the kawad results! sad)
  • felt like an outsider when they talk Japanese. I mean I sort of understand, but I can't really join in cuz I don't speak Japanese as much as they do. they speak Japanese even at home!
  • I wish I had an older sister who went to my school and took Jap and spoke Jap with me at home :(
  • will NEVER sit between them again.
  • was fasting and stayed back for Girl Guides. we didn't really do anything, so I got all bored and emo. Shahira even left me alone there! well I can't blame her, I was doing maths lol.
  • then these two humans passed by and one of them ran away and the other asked what meeting is this and I said "Girl Guides" and she said "I ingat Pandu Puteri tak best!" terasa kut. I mean, Girl Guides brought me to Singapore through KTM! I travelled 7 hours straight, and was the only one in my family to actually pass Tanjung .. something something (that last station before we enter Singapore). can you go there now? no. cuz it's sold now. can taekwondo bring you to Korea to match all those taekwondo people? not really. 
  • I didn't say anything to her in actual life. 
  • had a study group with the 101 girls minus Khairun. only studied 1/5 of the time. spent the rest talking bout life.
  • Ida cried twice just that afternoon! :(
  • asked FS if she really has a boyfriend and she said yea. she said it's been for 1 year plus now. I wondered how he looks like, and she told me to look at her profile. he's actually quite okay looking :) has dimples kut. imagine a smarty pants like FS having a boyfriend. fuhh. I'd never imagined, really! I've always thought she's the goody two shoes type. 
  • prefect installation. missed all the prefects. asked Ashwini later, "How were the VI boys?" and she said "VERY DISAPPOINTING! They weren't hot at all! they were just average.." cuz she told us once that's she's expecting the VI prefects cuz last year they were hot. you know, I've always heard that VI boys are hot, but I don't know any of them. only one - Adam Syafiq, and he's just a looker, not hot at all. plus he's annoying.

yea I decided to make a whole section just to talk about tuition. well today I was caught off hand. he came for 2-4! he came in along with Ika and Sya. Sya told me he was right in front of them and she was like "Elyna's guy Elyna's guy" whispering to Ika. well I hope she was whispering. 
in class he sat at the most outside in the row in front of me and I was second outside. I had quite a good view, but I didn't wanna stare. I tried my best not to. 

oh yeah, welcome to Andrew Choo, Chloe! :D see you for BM Sej tomorrow~!

I told Ila who it was. like finally == I noticed that he's probably left handed. I told Khairun and she said left handers are one in a million and I told her "no lah, belambak kat my school." I'm thinking bout Xueh Wei, Iman N. Khairun : "Nak kena tembak eh? XD" orang compliment nak menidakkan lagi plak eh. 
Then Khairun noticed his pencil box - the geometry set box. what a cheapskate. I told Khairun if I knew his birthday, I'd get him a new pencil box.
then during break he went out to write his attendance and so did Ika. Sya told me to tell Ika to write her name too, and when I got out I told Ika so. she couldn't hear so the amount of time I was at the door was too long. I even murmured something when I saw his shorts. something like "OMG shorts.. his calves.."

astarghfirallahalazim... this is why I don't really like guys who wear shorts. godaan syaitan. 

Ika was like "You saje je kan!! *laughs*" I'm like == "Ika takle obvious lagi ke. Sya suruh tulis nama dia la!!" and I went off. menyampah!!

then 4-6~ Sya came to sit next to me and I offered her my seat. Sya was like "Oo, okay, I get it I get it" and I was like well technically that's not the only reason. taula you nak duduk ngan Khairun lol. then Ashraf was saving a whole table for his friends and Sya and Khairun got overexcited. I was like "YOU GUYS NI OBVIOUSNYE MENYAMPAH." but then when his friends came in he sat second most inside. I was sort of sad, but it's okay. then Khairun went over again when coincidentally he was right behind her Asyraaf. 

there was an incident between me and Ashraf's short friend who sat at the most outside. his bag hit my back and he said "Sorry" and I jeling him. what's jeling in English? roll eyes? well technically I didn't roll my eyes... I felt kinda bad cuz I'm that careless too. wouldn't I feel offended if someone jeling-ed me for an accident? 

then during maths some people didn't bring their papers, so Ms. Chow rearranged the students. that same short guy with the deep Elvis Presley voice had to sit in front of me, beside him a.k.a. in front of Sya was Asyraaf's friend. get it? Ashraf and Asyraaf's friend was sitting in front of us? XD 
I told this to Khairun and she told me difference is that Asyraaf's friend was tall and cute and I was like "ceh, terasa" and she said that's the point. harr.

when class ended, us as typical nice girls waited for everyone to go out first and then Khairun was all "cepatla Elyna!!" when there were only us and Ashraf and his friend was left. I suddenly had cold feet and stood up, but couldn't look up. he went out first, followed by his friend then I went. 

Conclusion : Ashraf does not take any interest in me or whatsoever, cuz if he does he would've let me pass first. it's okay though, cuz this is all for fun. I thought I was serious about this, but decided to not take it seriously. PMR is more important anyway. this is just a distress thing. 
Ain told me that her ustazah told her that at this age, the girls are the ones yang ada hati for guys, while the guys are just playing around. they're still maturing, while we've matured years ago. 
I asked Bakmal once if he was into girls back when he went to Andrew Choo and he said, well he didn't really care about girls back then, he was just fooling around. So this sort of proves the point. guys my age are hopeless.

FS's boyfriend? those are one of a million guys who's more mature than other guys. susah nak jumpa. FS is lucky :)


P.S, the awkward moment when you wanted to post an awkward moment on your blog when you notice the people who read you blog.


wanted to post Hyuna's Bubble Pop, but then seeing how sexually orientated it is... how did Joon end up there?! T_T

Saturday, July 9, 2011

thoughts that probably don't matter.

but I'm gonna say it anyway.


Let's just say, okay? Let's say I have a special guy friend (Allah, kuatnye berangan..) and ya know, I really like him and he layans me as if he likes me so I'm sort of interpreting he likes me too, whatever. But the only things bout him is that he doesn't like K-POP.

Okay maybe it's sort of impossible for someone my age or my generation to not like K-POP, but ya know there are those type of people, like Khairin. she says she's not really into this techno thing. she really likes those British bands, and she's a huge fan of The Beatles.
and then there's Hanna who said out loud "K-POP sucks!" this one day. I didn't say anything cuz well, everyone has opinions.
and also *** who told us 101 girls one day while we were fan-girling "Sorry la tapi K-POP tak best la. dah la tak handsome." I'm sorry they don't look like the Biebster, but at least they don't grab girls' butts in public. Gomez should feel ashamed herself.

Anyways, so the conclusion is it's possible for me to have a special guy friend who doesn't like K-POP, because the people above are great people anyway. But I wonder. What if one day he tells me I should stop liking K-POP?

It's like if I wanna marry someone who's not Muslim, and that person tells me to change my religion.

Now, I'll say that I'd tell him no, I love K-POP, it makes me smile when I'm down, if you like me for me you shouldn't mind that I like K-POP.
But what about later? Will I like him too much that K-POP doesn't even matter anymore? Will he be the one to make me smile when I'm down?

the 'now me' knows the truth. somehow, I will give up K-POP. I'm just hoping that I'm wrong.


I was browsing through my own videos, and thought, hey, I was quite good at editing back then. I think I still would be editing, if it wasn't for the fact that my computer's broken. I remember listening to songs I like and imagined editing KH videos to it, and the ones I find possible I'll try to make. I was different back then XD
Harith was the one who got me editing. it was one of those innocent form 1 days. Later I started to dislike Harith, and right now I don't think I should have. he's human. he makes mistake.

well here are some that I think are worth watching.. I guess XD

that last one makes me cry. and makes me feel like playing Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. and I know I'll cry when it ends too. I LOVE XION OKAY. SHE'S SO COOL.
my favourite out of probably the only 4 girl characters in KH. KH's still awesome anyway. BECAUSE OF ROXAS DAMN HE'S CUTE


he is just so cute I love him too much gaargh <3 *glompsSandeuleverytimehedoesthat'a~ng'thing


This cutie <3 so adorable when you smile. and I noticed he looks a bit like Jinyoung XD


p.s, oh yeah, kinda obvious that YOUTUBE'S BACK! WOOHOO

Friday, July 8, 2011

a phrase from Lie by CN BLUE.

Even though I painfully push you away
(I wait for you)
I don’t think I can stop missing you
(I don’t think it can be helped)
I don’t think I can let you go.


"You're my favourite bra.




Haha terkejut ke?
Shahira was surprised the first time Lea told her that. then she tried it on me (although I obviously knew since she said it a couple of times) so I rolled my eyes saying "Derr."

so it's as if Lea's saying I'm her fav bra. And I'm saying "Duhh, of course."

if, you wanna look at it that way.


This is dangerous but..
well I stopped stalking Pumpkin anyway
(I succeeded today!! woohoo! :D)
so there she is, with S--- Weedy. :3

this was obviously posed 
(its like they're helping us stalk them by commenting!)
to be like this knight saving her his princess~
or maybe a boy at prom seeing this pretty girl sitting alone and asking her to dance~

just imagine, people~

isn't this scene just beautiful?
doesn't Pumpkin look like she really likes Weedy?
(thanks a lot Joy for making me think like a looney right now)


well enough funny talk. now some serious talk.
okay fine I can never be serious when I blog.

well, I got some exciting news~~!
but before that, let's talk about what's been going on this whole week.

I really did try to study, but I couldn't help it. I kesian at the kawad people. plus I feel the responsibility as secretary of P.P. Coy 7 that I had to do this. for Girl Guides.
*semangated + patriotism*

lol anyway. the competition was this Friday a.k.a. today so we had less than a week to practice. since we didn't have enough people anyway, we didn't stay back on Monday.

The next day I was hyper. the day before I was so excited cuz my life finally became a tinsy bit more exciting than usual (seven people talking and looking at me while I'm against the wall and Pumpkin was on the other side of the walkway? THRILLING. I LOVED IT.) but Tuesday, I just had too many strawberries. plus, Sya gave me exciting news! she replaced her BM Sej on Monday 4-6 and she saw A-- wait you guys don't know his name yet. And she saw HIM! that confirms it. anytime I can't go on Sat, I'm replacing on Monday XD

so that afternoon I went for Jap. Eva was all emo but I just went along with it. 3.30, we had to go and Eva really hated me cuz the others were discussing about Hari Ko-Ku!! SUSHI!!! anyway we barely did much other than march that day, plus I had to go at 4.30. Eva apologized and said she hated everyone during Jap just now. It's okay Eva. as long as you don't punch me in the guts, it's all good.
I barely found time to do my homework so I set aside the things I didn't really have to hand in until next time. I studied Geo and Ayah was being all smart-ass with me when he marked my exercise. (no dad you can't measure the length of a river with your finger. you need a thread.) should be happy I slept around 12.

the next day we practiced a bit more. We sucked marching so much though, we barely finished off with around six or seven people trying to figure out the second formation. 
that night I finished the important homeworks and did Sejarah exercise. marked myself. slept around 12 again.

Thursday, I couldn't feel the thrill anymore. things cooled off and were boring again. probably because Eva didn't come. Things were funny with Mr. Yap, our young Chinese teacher though.

we had Chinese class this day and I thought okay well it's Group A's turn! I can relax and walk around school and stuff like that now~but then Mr. Yap seems to like Group B a lot and decided it's Group B's turn (*eyes lousei. IT'S BECAUSE OF NINA RIGHT?!)
but then Nuryn was making jokes all the way. she said to herself (so only me and her can hear) "Darling, can you move a bit?" when Mr Yap was blocking the board with his height. we were laughing by ourselves. then Nuryn was bored and said "I have small *****, kan kan?" and she pointed at lousei. me and Iman were laughing and giggling.
how could you Nuryn. and with a teacher. tsk tsk tsk.
then when school ended I wanted to change so I took off my tudung (duhh) then suddenly Mr. Yap entered the class. I looked at Nuryn looking at me. I went down behind my table, trying to cover as much hair as I could with my hands (which wasn't much) and Nuryn gave me my tudung. Nasib tak bukak baju lagi tau tak.
I kept peeking to see if he's gone then Nuryn keeps saying "Okay--WAITWAIT he's stopping!!.. okok da-- WAIT he's still here!!"

Eojjeomyeon joha, Eojjeomyeon joha...
(Maybe I like you, Maybe I like you)
-back to real life-
that afternoon we worked so hard on kawad and finally finished the formations! I was happy with the situation, (naneun ne modeun ge joha (joha joha) but it would've been better if we had more time to practice. the competition is THE NEXT DAY. 
that night I slept super early like 9.30 only to wake up at 11 to do my homework (cuz I don't want too many left for the weekends) and I slept at 2 lol. 
the next day finally came and .. I didn't feel nervous at first. but then when we marched in I could feel my intestines turning. their attentions are all on us now. I made it through without making much mistakes (alhamdulillah) but then I looked back at the video (which I asked Lea to take, thanks babe!) and Shahira was making faces, Khairah stood up too early and crap like that. people kept saying I had such a serious face. I think I'm good at that - pulling a straight face. lol.
 I also noticed omma was angry at us for not being serious enough OwO sorry Naddo~ we tried our best? yeah? :D

Xueh Wei, Nadhrah, Shahira, Ika and me.
hopefully we'll win!!! ><"
thank you Nadi senpai, Shahirah and Nadia senpai from KP for helping us!! 

then were the sales~ first things first, I went to support the Japanese club at the sushi stall woohoo! :D I made a temaki (well that was the only thing available other then vegetarian so.) and it was awesome! Ain did one after that too. so after that us 101 girls went to the padang because we were told to for this tarian Sumazau thingy. but instead we had a photoshoot!! :D our first photoshoot hehehe. (I know you guys are blur bout this 101 thing. its a group we made. done.) 
I went for taekwondo workshop too! it was awesoomeee :D Iman and Nuryn are the best teachers ever! hehehhe it was fun pushing Nuryn down. if I could do that to Eva it would've settle some hits made unfairly... but she didn't come :( THINGS AREN'T AS FUN WITHOUT YOU EVA. stop merajuk-ing already.

so after was recess which me and Ika spent waiting for the three =__= then we entered the hall for the ceremony! and I FINALLY saw M&M. it's hard la. she's a form 5. the ceremony was boring (duhh) cheered as loud as I can for Naddo and Xueh Wei omma and appa. then some performances. gotta say, the karate thing was kinda cool :D Zaimah, Zarifah, never told me anything eh! patutlah Zarifah's so good at playing Kingdom Hearts. I mean just look at those moves! she could beat Xemnas anytime XD
(that reminds me there's a long ruler in Bilik Jahitan B and I think it's secretly a samurai sword. I wanna play with it in a bigger space!! I wanna cosplay as Ventas :DD he holds his keyblade awesomely >w<  lol Lynn you wouldn't have noticed if Zafirah hadn't pointed it out... whatever *slaps self)

so went back home after that and got ready for tuition kehhehee. biggest news coming.
2-4 sat at the back blablabla. 4-6 NOW 4-6 HHEHE 

Khairun and Ain were sitting at the third row originally, so they got us seats in front of them T_T i don't like sitting too much to the front, 4th row is usually the prefect spot - I'm in the middle of the class so I get to concentrate and he would sit somewhere near the front so I get a good peeking spot too. but whatever. anything's better than the back seat - you'll get the air-con drops. yuck.
so I was talking excitedly to all of them bout 101 when suddenly someone's chair stepped on my toe. I turned around, "owowow"-ing and I see him enter the class. hey you. lol.
he sat the same row again, IT'S SO HARD TO SEE HIM. so first subject was Science and there was this one time Andrew went out of the class. I turned around to Khairun.

"Boleh tanye skarang?"
"Okok jap."

so she texts Asyraaf, and we continued talking bout 101 after trying to describe my crush for Khairun to tell her guyfriend-soon-to-be-boyfriend. then Andrew enters class and I looked front.

"sent," Khairun told. I nodded. my blood system went nuts at that moment. I felt warm at places and cold at others. I squirmed in my seat and kept glancing at Asyraaf to see if he's replying. he's talking. that son of a-- no no he makes Khairun happy. then I looked at Khairun a couple of times. she gets that I'm nervous.

"Sorry, he's too busy flirting with the girls kat sebelah die." I looked at Asyraaf and he just looked into his phone. 
"Die baru check phone la," I told Khairun. girls. haha.
after a while, I heard Khairun snorting to herself. did she get it? did she? then Khairun called me.

"Elyna, you won't believe it. His name is Ashraf too."



at least, that was my first thought. okay fine I still find it shitty until now. WAE KURAEYO?! why is Ashraf such a popular name?! why am I so upset that his name is Ashraf lol?!
well maybe cuz it'll be hard to differentiate them later when we're talking bout them. secondly, there's gotta be a million other Ashraf's on Facebook.

well when class was over 101 wanted to take a picture so since Azzam was around, why not? but the picture was crappy (Azzam obviously has little experience with digital cameras). and all the while Ashraf was around. even when we went downstairs he was behind us. he was waiting for his friend. sigh.
I have so many thoughts right now you would vomit if you read them.

oh yea. Idah told me Azzam coupled with a form 4 in our school. I have so many opinions on that, I'm not even gonna say it. But Azim (their eldest brother) is dating Zaimah, which is great! I love Zaimah :D she's so sweet and petite. sort of matches the big, rough image Azim has XD


Saturday, July 2, 2011

photos that aren't mine.

as a newborn loner and non-photographer, I stalked officials' profiles to get nice pictures from Sports Day. Of course there was a glint of hope that my picture was taken somewhere but obviously, someone like me would never get a chance.

*the first picture is by Karyna Suhaimi, the others are by Azrianna Azmil.


forgive me for being human.

somehow I've been really emo recently. One moment I'm all hyped up but then something triggers me into this blank faced, quiet girl who thinks too much.

when I read that person's blog, I can't believe she actually said all that. doesn't she know she's the reason I feel that way? It's annoying, but confusing too. it makes me feel like I did something wrong. but I know somehow that I wasn't the culprit who made her feel that way. is it karma? she did that to me and then she gets the same feeling.
well let me say what I feel sorry for. and also things I'm not sorry for, but I'm really upset about it.
(this isn't specifically to one person)

I'm sorry I can't trust you. I'm sorry I don't think you have the right to know. I'm sorry I have things to be kept secret. I'm sorry that these things I keep secret I tell other people but not you. I'm sorry I didn't call. I'm sorry I called. I'm sorry I didn't back you up. I'm sorry I ran away when things got rough. I'm sorry I called you annoying. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry I didn't say hi for a whole week. I'm sorry I didn't notice when you called me. I'm sorry I can't stop looking at you. I'm sorry if I did something you didn't like. I'm sorry if your life is messed up because of me.
But I'm not sorry when you walked away. I'm not sorry when you couldn't understand. I'm not sorry when you couldn't forgive me. I'm not sorry that you took advantage of me. I'm not sorry when you weren't there when I needed you. I'm not sorry when you ignored me. I'm not sorry that you make people look at you. I'm not sorry that whatever I've done doesn't have anything to do with you. I'm not sorry that you never called me. I'm not sorry that my life is messed up because of you.

Ugh. I don't know. I just hate everything and everyone right now. Now I just have to pull a face for tomorrow's kenduri arwah, and after that I don't have to care about anyone anymore. I'll just study. That's all that matters. Everyone in my life doesn't matter right now - cuz I never mattered to them. I'll just sink into the background like I did in standard 6. After PMR, maybe I'll start caring again. But I don't want to right now. with all the studying, caring isn't really good for me.


Caught up with sleep just now. slept from 1:50 - 4. I can start sleeping early again - no more activities yay! I was so exhausted. Sports Day, then that one Friday and we had to study (I didn't sleep at all! percaya tak?) then today was the run. Ran with Lea, because Iman and Idah ditched us. Then had a water fight cuz we all got free water (the usual standard 3 game - poke a hole on your lid, attack unsuspected people.) then during the stupid ceramah I tried my best to sleep because my eyes were already heavy, they just wouldn't shut (cuz I was thinking too much). then we had to clean up the school. stupid Blue house talk. went back home bla bla bla.

yesterday tuition? I didn't matter. well of course it mattered, at least to me, so I didn't wanna bore you with my girly crushing.