Friday, July 22, 2011

i have no title for this.



I don't know.
You keep finding your way back into my head.

I don't know.
When the hell I'm going to finish this Sejarah Powerpoint. It's already past Friday. is Cik Tan gonna get in trouble because of me? Shit.

I don't know.
things seem to be going downhill.

***

recently I've been hearing the words "sekolah asrama" a lot lately. Ever since I entered form 2, I KNEW I would never leave Sri Aman for boarding school. I would miss all my friends too much. Then earlier this year Hanis told me she's going to a boarding school next year, and she wants me to follow her. I wasn't sure, but my friends told me to concentrate on PMR. and now, the thought of going to boarding school is back to linger in my head.

thing is, a lot of people say going to boarding school if fun, and you get new experiences. and there you can concentrate on studying - there's no distractions.
but there's also disadvantages. like one thing I noticed (not to be racist) but the population of boarding schools of mostly Malays. not that I don't like being around my own race. I mean hey, it's my race, I should be proud but I like seeing things from another perspective. I mean, I have a lot of non-Malay friends and I like the variety - at least I have a wider point of view.
and another thing is that I got a bunch of friends I don't wanna leave here in Sri Aman. so many friends that love it here in Sri Aman too, and don't see the need to change. but then there are a few friends who are willing to go to boarding school and leave their friends. I know back in form 1 I would've loved to go to a boarding school, but I think I've valued the meaning of 'friend' from the past two years.

I don't know how to summarize this up. I should probably just think about studying right now.

Ashraf didn't come today. it's okay though. I'll probably pass by him tomorrow as he fills up his missing class. the sad thing was when Khairun told me she broke up with Asyraaf.

my first reaction (as a typical blod B type) was "what relationship did you guys have to start with?" cuz she keeps telling me that Asyraaf had asked her to be his girlfriend * times and it's killing him and all that like, since when did you finally decided that you guys are finally 'official'?
but then she tells me "no actually we got into a relationship.. tapi dah break up dah" that girl never tells us anything.. I asked her why and she told me it's cuz she doesn't want to lie to Asyraaf anymore, she doesn't have feelings for him like she did before.

funny how feelings can run out so easily. I wonder how heart broken Asyraaf actually is. I mean, he could not care or he could be really upset about it. can't tell though, his FB page seems like he hasn't been online a lot.

next guy, Alief Uzair.
I bet you guys would go like "hey, this name's familiar~!" well he's quite (repeat quite, I mean I didn't know about him up until recently) popular among Sri Aman girls. I don't see why though to me he's not that attractive. just added him on FB. see, a classmate of mine says that she thinks she likes this guy cuz he looks so much like a guy she used to like. I'm not mentioning who cuz she said "whatever is said in this four tables STAYS in this four tables!" so I think I should spare the name. if you guys know this dude tell me, cuz I wanna do research on why he's so quite popular. I mean seriously, his profile picture can't make him look uglier.

I'm sorry classmate-who-I-can't-mention-the-name-of-here. maybe it's just the picture, and he's better looking in real life?

sigh, I feel left behind in studying. I should study more.

Out.



0:47 is my fav part. although it's scary, it gives the whole boring I-have-a-suckish-life-cuz-I'm-blind plot a little thrill. let's admit it, that's the only part that actually makes us wanna watch the movie.

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