Saturday, August 27, 2011

explains everything that needs explaining.


the plan.

I hate it when things are planned, and things don't go as planned. Which is why most of the time after I plan something, I decide not to do it, just in case the results won't make me happy. But this time, I'm sure I wanna do this. I'm just hoping that when the moment comes for me to do it, I have the guts. I have to reassure myself that everything will be alright so that I won't get cold feet.

So imagine this.

You're just another guy living life, going to tuition cuz you're supposed to get good results for PMR and all that. suddenly I paper hits your shoulder and falls on your table. You open it and it says "Hi... boleh kenal tak? >///<" Your turn around to see who threw it to you, but you see no one looking at you directly. until you see this girl pointing to the girl next to her.
she was covering her face with the thick tuition book. she lowered the book to see if you were looking and seeing that you are, she smiles nervously and waves.

what do you do?

see Lea called me last night to just talk about random stuff. so I told her that I drew a comic of the above after KH, and Lea said just try doing it. if he smiles, then he's a nice guy who respects girls. if he ignores you, he's a jerk. she got this conclusion from two guys she knew, so I'm guessing she knows what she's talking bout. I'm just afraid that neither will happen - instead he'll get all confused and, I don't know, just don't know what to say, or not interested in making new friends.

why do I wanna take this step anyway? I don't know. Khairun got along with Asyraaf, Sya at least got Naquib's Facebook account. I don't want all this crushing to waste. plus I guess I've never really noticed it, but there's only a month left to PMR and probably less than four times left to see him. Then after that he won't be nothing more than just a crush I had on someone at tuition.

I know it's stupid, I should just probably ignore this whole thing, I mean it's just a crush, plus I'm only fifteen, many guys will come and go, but I just wanna try doing something for once rather than letting things slip out of my hand.

urgh. whatever.

addicted to the Glee Project, ie, Cameron Mitchell. sigh. its rare that I fall so hard for an American, really. He has round dark eyes and wears nerdy glasses and has light hair that defies gravity and a 6 foot lean body and the (I can't believe I'm saying this here) juiciest lips I've ever seen. (description source : my diary. the words a fangirl uses.)





















Yes, the above IS from Cameron's own YOUTUBE CHANNEL. I feel so connected to him when I subscribed, it's like, a click to show how much more I love Cameron for everything that he is. Sigh. If I found a guy like this, I'd marry him.

Out.

Friday, August 19, 2011

i loved today.

really, even if I have no idea if I'm gonna ace my Sejarah. I mean, I can't be sure right? and I'll especially hate it if I B it by one question. especially.

well I don't wanna talk about exam when I just had the best tuition day ever <3 my heart blooms every time I think about it~ sigh.



then I see you hanging out with Timothy and Azzam and I'm like


YEA out of all the people in the world pick those two - the forever gross guy Timothy and the forever player Azzam.

but still.
really I didn't wanna see him today. I wrote here that I should've seen him on Monday but I didn't -Khairun did though- then I saw him on Wednesday when they had that extra class thing. after being satisfied of my hunger from wanting to see him, I couldn't stop thinking bout him during the exam. my mind even wandered off during Sejarah's paper. I was like, omg Lynn why are you even thinking bout this?! concentrate!
so after that I really didn't wanna see him anymore. it's gonna cause mischief I tell you, if I see him again. but I did. and this time, I think it's really gonna affect me.

so this Sunday there's gonna be extra class again. I REALLY don't wanna see him. they're gonna separate the classes through KH anyway, so guys usually take technical right? I have a feeling perdagangan class is gonna be full of Sri Amanians lol. I had never met another school that has students who take perdagangan.

the extra class is gonna cost RM 30, but if I bring in a student, I get RM 10 off. I tried to call practically everyone I know would love to go (except for Eva, cuz she's got church) because his tips are really good, that Andrew! although I suspect a type of leak, I'm not gonna say more. but no one answered their phone. the only one who answered was Lea, and she couldn't come. Laila called back later saying she'll think about it, Adilah wasn't at home and wouldn't answer her phone, and Shahira Jalil's phone was switched off, and I SMSed her sister but no reply. lol your loss  even Yen Fern, who usually answers, didn't answer her phone =3=

but I wasted a lot of credit making all those calls...
Out.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

supa luuv~

-currently waiting for Bakery Attack to load-

Hmm, IDK what this is, but it involves CN BLUE so why not? :D
...the comments say that Jonghyun is hot... hehehehehhe idk whether to feel jealous that others had seen his hotness and not me or proud to idolize someone so hot.

well trials are coming this Thursday. taking a break (from studying very not-seriously) before I go to sleep. because of the trials, I've decided to go for Monday 4-6 Sej BM class because BM is on Thursday and Sejarah is on Friday. Sya told me that Ashraf goes for 4-6 on Monday. not. my point. I'm going there to study, not look at boys -determined- dahlah bulan Ramadan.
Khairun will pick me up and Ika and Sya said they'll come, so at least I won't be alone :)

I have my whole studying schedule set up, even what I'm gonna after the whole thing's done (ie. continue watching You're My Oppa and ask for memory card from parents. THEY PROMISED.)

wish me luck on studying! I wanna do good this time.

Out.




*edit*
from the movie! XD










hahahahha scary dowh.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

cucumber.

There's this person who I would like to call 'Cucumber'. That's all the information I can give you because anymore would make it too obvious who this person is. Thing is, she hurt me and she can't even see it.

And the reason she's called Cucumber is because cucumbers look like huge green d---

***

I pity my mom. Bakmal came home yesterday because he was slightly ill, but the fever caught on my mom and now she's sleeping on the sofa. I hate it when mom's sick because her voice turns all emo and she'll sleep the whole day long and I'll feel bad if I don't care for her (but since she's sleeping, what much does she need?).

Anyway I was reading my earlier posts, back in form 1, and here's a post I would like you guys to read... it's not that important you guys don't have to read it, just for entertainment, I just wonder how I can remember my dreams so clearly like that. the other day I dreamt I met CN BLUE and SuJu but I can't remember clearly how it went...

Currently addicted to Teen Top (especially Niel!! HE'S A '94 GAARGH kalau Malaysian he'd be a senior right now T_T)... SU-Pa Lu-lu-lu-lub~!
Out.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

ceh.

someone once told me that I am one the people who has the most Korean crushes that she knows. so I removed some of the Korean guy from my list... but that doesn't change my love for them.


I <3 my Papaya voice hubby~~

Out.

Monday, August 8, 2011

you don't have to say anything.

It's okay. I understand, really. It's me, not you. I'll leave you alone now.

***

you know, I've always wondered what I really mean to you. Looks like I don't really mean much at all.




Out.

Friday, August 5, 2011

sophisticated.

somehow The Script never fails to make me cry with their songs.

***

Ever since yesterday after school, I felt so sophisticated. I managed to finish Memoirs of a Geisha and then finished up my homework. it was a miracle. that night I got ready for school even before I went for tarawikh (which I missed the two nights before because of homework), so when I got back home I just went straight to sleep. so today I didn't feel as sleepy as usual! kekeke.

the thing is, I will forever be sleepy when I enter the car. I can't stop myself from dozing off in a moving vehicle unless you talk to me.

until this morning and we had to collect our ko-ku marks... it was just the worst. I hate queuing up in that type of mess. plus I still get a B after going to Singapore for Girl Guides (because I didn't come for three meetings T_T). well a B's a B. even if I got an A for that my overall marks would still be a B.

so. the fasting month had been okay. I really hope it's slimming me down one way or another. I don't wanna be fat for Raya.

Okay so I've been avoiding this topic actually but Abang is moving out today. Tomorrow they're gonna have doa selamat + buka puasa at their new house. mom told me I should make custards cuz I learned how to make them the other day. really wanna experiment, but after Googling some recipes, I give up. maybe this isn't the time, what with the fasting and all.

The other day I went for BI - Geo on Wednesday 4-6, just trying out new things and trying to forget old stuff.   so when we walked back home we passed by the bazaar I went to buy caramel pudding which is one of my favourite desserts (After bread pudding, of course :9 ) and Ida was talking bout the guy teachers at our school, namely the practical teacher Mr. Tim and our young Chinese teacher Mr. Yap.

Idah said that Mr. Tim, who's doing his practical and came from USA, is really funny. I've been wanting him to substitute our class ever since I saw him waiting for 3A to come back to class - meaning he's gonna enter our class at least once. then we noticed a pattern - Monday, he entered 3A, Tuesday he went for 3B, then on Wednesday he entered 3C. I didn't noticed if he entered 3D yesterday, but probably because of our short learning hours today, he didn't enter our class as we expected. Divya said she'd do anything to ask him to stay, which is just so wrong if you think about it.

then we talked about how cute Mr. Yap is when he smiles, and how hard it is to see that happen. I remember there was this one time En. Alias took a picture of him and he smiled and showed a peace sign, and we were all cheering when it was showed on a slideshow. he is just the neardiest person I've ever known, but you can't deny he has a nice smile.

oh yeah, on Tuesday I stayed back for Japanese, and Shahira and Zalikha didn't come T T well at least when I sit with Yen Fern and Eva I don't feel as stupid. then after class we went to water YenF and Eva's 'baby'. see LP3K's (whom Eva is one of) have to plant trees or something of that sort. so yeah. they still strained that I should marry Iman, so we practiced breaking up with Sammie (which didn't turn out much). but good thing I asked Iman if she would marry me and she said no, so I didn't break up with Sammie yet.

next topic; coffee.

mainly, I don't like the black coffee, where they don't put milk. the milk makes it much better, if not it's too bitter. so mom made one of those milk coffees before tarawikh last night, and I drank some of it so that I won't feel too sleepy while praying (and it worked! :D). Ayah scolded me and said I'm too young for coffee. sometimes I wonder if he thinks I'm still a kid. guys are still kids at the age of fifteen, girls are mature enough when they're fifteen. I wonder if his way of thinking is like this because he had two sons before me and they still acted like little kids at the age of fifteen. heh.

there's this song 'Like a Man' that I keep listening to at JK Hits but I keep missing the singer name.

Out.






Jonghyun Fun Fact : The song that he's most satisfied with is Lie.

Monday, August 1, 2011

ramadhan al-mubarak.



Yes, I am now officially AvisRain190 on Pottermore. I had awesomer choices before, I'm not sure why but the HP fans seemed to like Marauder.. and I got MarauderBlood3. Nadhrah and Xueh Wei both seems to like Marauder, but hey, AvisRain ain't bad.

You won't believe how badly I wan't that e-mail now. Xueh Wei registered earlier, and she hadn't got her e-mail yet. I'm getting nervous. Xueh Wei's name is 'FrogPurple78', and Naddo, who registered with me just now got 'FlooWatch44'. she said it was the best. Divya (I forgot where the silent 'I' is, 2G JOKE) I heard got Marauder-something too. WHAT IS THIS MARAUDER THING.

hm. I should tell Iman Naadhirah to sign up. she's a HP fan too.

saw the TwitVid on Xwei's blog. JB's funny. he's kinda cool, I guess. I wouldn't mind having him as a friend :) I can't imagine myself cone-ing, ever.

Then I watched Eva's video for her new song 'Caramel Days'. although I don't understand why it's caramel days but it's really cute. When I let my mom listen to it she asked if Eva chipmunked it. that was funny.

so all these aren't as important as this though - RAMADHAN IS HERE :)

Salam Ramadhan al-Mubarak to all Muslims out there :) my hopes for this fasting month: -

  • for me to not to miss more than 7 days of fasting. replacing is soo annoying.
  • for me to not be so tired to actually consider breaking fast. I did last year but I stood strong and ambik wudu' instead. I remember vomitting after Japanese class one day. dugaan, dugaan... 
  • for me not to do too many useless things, like fawn over Korean guys. Bulan Ramadhan la pula lol.
  • for me to not miss too many tarawihs. 
and yeah. Syawal I want to keep the money for future uses :D meaning the near future. like maybe if I get straight A's for PMR, and my parents gives RM100 for each A, I can add the probably RM250 I got for raya so that I can buy a laptop (if RM1050 is enough) :DD kalau tak boleh beli Korean stuff at Times Square ;)

heh it's the first day of fasting and I'm already daydreaming bout duit raya.

well, happy fasting everyone! :) I dared Xueh Wei to try fasting for a day tomorrow. I'm gonna call her tonight before I sleep to make sure she 'sahur', cuz she says she's too lazy to wake up early. lol.