Saturday, August 27, 2011

the plan.

I hate it when things are planned, and things don't go as planned. Which is why most of the time after I plan something, I decide not to do it, just in case the results won't make me happy. But this time, I'm sure I wanna do this. I'm just hoping that when the moment comes for me to do it, I have the guts. I have to reassure myself that everything will be alright so that I won't get cold feet.

So imagine this.

You're just another guy living life, going to tuition cuz you're supposed to get good results for PMR and all that. suddenly I paper hits your shoulder and falls on your table. You open it and it says "Hi... boleh kenal tak? >///<" Your turn around to see who threw it to you, but you see no one looking at you directly. until you see this girl pointing to the girl next to her.
she was covering her face with the thick tuition book. she lowered the book to see if you were looking and seeing that you are, she smiles nervously and waves.

what do you do?

see Lea called me last night to just talk about random stuff. so I told her that I drew a comic of the above after KH, and Lea said just try doing it. if he smiles, then he's a nice guy who respects girls. if he ignores you, he's a jerk. she got this conclusion from two guys she knew, so I'm guessing she knows what she's talking bout. I'm just afraid that neither will happen - instead he'll get all confused and, I don't know, just don't know what to say, or not interested in making new friends.

why do I wanna take this step anyway? I don't know. Khairun got along with Asyraaf, Sya at least got Naquib's Facebook account. I don't want all this crushing to waste. plus I guess I've never really noticed it, but there's only a month left to PMR and probably less than four times left to see him. Then after that he won't be nothing more than just a crush I had on someone at tuition.

I know it's stupid, I should just probably ignore this whole thing, I mean it's just a crush, plus I'm only fifteen, many guys will come and go, but I just wanna try doing something for once rather than letting things slip out of my hand.

urgh. whatever.

addicted to the Glee Project, ie, Cameron Mitchell. sigh. its rare that I fall so hard for an American, really. He has round dark eyes and wears nerdy glasses and has light hair that defies gravity and a 6 foot lean body and the (I can't believe I'm saying this here) juiciest lips I've ever seen. (description source : my diary. the words a fangirl uses.)

Yes, the above IS from Cameron's own YOUTUBE CHANNEL. I feel so connected to him when I subscribed, it's like, a click to show how much more I love Cameron for everything that he is. Sigh. If I found a guy like this, I'd marry him.


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