Friday, December 2, 2011

role-playing's tough when you think too much.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYAH. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I CARE ABOUT TODAYYY

I'm not really good at role-playing am I?
Recently I took up a role as Jonghyun in a RP and well.. so far there had been two misunderstandings of what I posted. I don't feel like I'm good enough to role-play Jonghyun, but neither are other people in the group but why do people understand them more? maybe it's cuz I'm a newbie.. sigh.

lol I just spammed that group with the psychotic life of my mind that doesn't work like my K-POP friends'. Not only bad at role-playing, but I can't stop my fucking asshole from yapping about my real life. the only reason I'm doing that is cuz they don't know who I really am. but I don't think they care neither. I had always been the type that hides in the shadows of my room, stalking everyone else's lives and snickering to myself about their stupidity or getting envious bout how great their lives are.

recently social life hadn't been everything... nor has it been great. nothing is turning out perfectly, like it should be cuz it's the holidays. It's okay though. I don't need a super duper great extraordinary social life cuz I can just sit and role play on the laptop, fangirl and buy CNBLUE DVDs by myself. if there's a CNBLUE concert happening in Malaysia I know none of Hubble would wanna waste their money on CNBLUE cuz none of them actually appreciates them as much as I do. I can tell cuz just the other day Ain told me she doesn't like CNBLUE songs that much. and I told her well, it's my fav, second is BEAST and I thought she'd be happy to hear that what with her being a B2UTY and all but she said she doesn't even like BEAST songs so much, she prefers songs by 2PM. and I'm like... so you're a B2UTY because your friends are B2UTY?

but I didn't say that, ofc. I can't blame Ain neither cuz when she pointed out she turned into a HOTTEST somehow Sya and Aina kept going bout how she was a traitor, so she turned back to B2UTY. I'm sure most of my friends aren't the fandom that they are because they have friends whose fandom is that. sorry to say but I think I'm the boldest of them all, because I chose the risk of fangirling by myself by being the only BOICE in Hubble. if a concert comes I'll possibly be going alone, taking a VIP ticket because I don't have to worry about my friends who can't afford such a ticket. not that I can afford it easily neither but it's cuz I've been saving up for this, my fav band, why shouldn't I splurge a little? even if I wanted to invite a friend it would be Eva because she's the only one that can see eye-to-eye with me about CNBLUE - they're not just looks. they're musical talents.

not to say that other groups are fake, good-looking auto-tuning people neither, some of them have really nice voices, but my likings had always favoured to the band types anyway. I don't mind that my other friends like all those dancing groups, because I feel fascinated watching them dance too. but they don't appreciate band types as much as they do those dancing types.
except for Khairun maybe, cuz she once told me she liked all those other non-KPOP bands like One Republic, MCR and Simple Plan. hey, those were my favourites before KPOP too, but with her attitude right now I can't even bother to think about asking her if she wants to be the only one standing next to me, for two hours straight listening to the band I love so much.

lol I'm satisfied. there's no closure though haha. that has been in my head ever since last week. I'll just go back to my shadows now, and the next time you'll hear from me is probably when I'm angry about something of there's something I wanna fangirl about. but that won't be necessary neither, cuz there's a spazz group on my RP acc. I'll probably be spending my entire holidays there, not opening my real acc, until unless I feel like I've disappeared from the world long enough and probably to see the progress of coming back to school. see you guys when we take our results. 23 more days to go. (edit: lol YenF said it's gonna be on the 23rd so... 20, 21 more days?)

Out.

P.S, I don't mean to bitch about my friends and their hypocriticies here but it's not like more than 5 people are reading my blog. Laila, Eva, YenF. two possible stalkers and that's it. not even Hanis reads my blog now. none of Hubble ever read blogs. just in case they are, I'm sorry.

lol who am I fucking kidding?

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