Tuesday, January 3, 2012

unfair.

I don't know why I'm feeling so sad. I got into pure science, which sort of made my decision for me, since I was debating between Bio and ICT. I got into a class where there's people I'm familiar with (super-smartass people, as usual.) although some of my closer friends are in 4SB, I'm sure we'll be like neighbours, like 3E and F used to be.
then I got to meet my friends for awhile just now and had lots of tiring fun. when I got home, slept like a log out of tiredness. probably cuz I've been really lazy lately. when school starts, my body shall be activated again.
also, I sort of got what everyone in my batch had been hoping for 2011 - straight A's for PMR. so why am I feeling this down feeling, right before school starts?

probably because I'm feeling like I'm not getting what I deserve. I know, who am I to judge what I deserve and what I don't? well I'm sure as hell I shouldn't be treated like I didn't work my ass off for that straight A's. I feel like my hard work wasn't acknowledged. while Ika and Ida are getting presents from their Singaporean cousin, I'm here waiting for someone to ask what my results are - the only thing I can boast about, really. other than that I have nothing.

the second probability is because Sya is going into a technical school. no no I'm totally happy for her. I'm not sad that she's leaving, I'm telling you now. although the thought of a Hubble member missing from the usual group is saddening, it's nothing to really be down about.
But my mom just told me that if you really want to go to a boarding school, a technical school is not a choice. it'll just bring you down. when my brother went to the one in Gombak, he had friends who only got 3A's and managed to get in. going into a technical school most probably won't help you become an engineer. my mom said she regretted putting Bakmal in that school, seeing all the trouble he got into. although Ayah said if he was to stay at BB he would've turned out worse, which, I have to agree, seeing the people he mixes with.

point is, Sya is being sent somewhere she doesn't deserve to be sent - a school that will just bring her down and bring her hopes and dreams to get a scholarship in engineering to pieces.
okay I take it back. this is all what me, my mom and my mom's staff's sister has to say about technical school. seeing that I've never went there to study, I'll just say that there's a possibility it's not too bad.

so those are the two things of why I'm feeling down. it's okay though. I'll get over it, seeing how I'll be stacked with homework by the end of the week. this is the best way to not think about sad things from life - concentrate on school. I'll try to be a better student this year. you might not know it but I'm not exactly one of those students that teacher acknowledge as a good student. I'm an okay student who still have times where she doesn't finish her homework.

Out.

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