Thursday, March 29, 2012

pretty girls don't rock, okay. they just don't.

such a pretty album art.

Currently reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I know it's a bit late but at least I'm at it - same case as THG, I guess. still haven't watched the movie, I don't think I'll make it for these weekends neither since there's a kenduri at Segamat. even if we'll be back the next day I'm planning to go to Ika's to watch MTV Unplugged so it'll be too much to go watch the movie.
The weekends after will be really full too, like 7th there's SFS, which I just bought the ticket but forgot to ask the girls if they're going (I'm sure they're not, most of us are socially awkward. but I'm gonna force them to anyway). but even if I'm not going at least I'll get the t-shirt (like Autism Walk). (Y) then the next weekend will be the GIGASA Gathering, which sincerely, I can't wait to go to. hopefully I won't be too tired on Sundays to go with Bakmal (he promised. promises are to be kept, even by the most untrustworthy brothers. especially when it comes to watching a movie.) busy busy busy.

well I can easily say that I feel packed but there's people like Ika who I'm sure feels even more stressed by her all her activities. but well not here to rant about this. as you can see, I'm pretty angry at all the pretty people in the world. I know there are uglier people out there, and I should be confident with who I am even if I'm not that pretty, even if I'm less than average. but no. I disagree with all of you. confidence about your looks doesn't come sailing along. You can be confident about yourself in one minute and suddenly all that can be ripped off the next.

tell me, how am I supposed to be confident with being myself when pretty people get all the attention? when pretty people can easily take selcas of themselves, do a little editing and get hundreds of likes on Facebook? okay maybe that's not really a problem. Facebook is a virtual world, meaning a lot of people can be very dishonest. but in real life, I get surrounded by people who everyone knows are bitchy but are pretty, and they still get attention. I know classmates who goes to birthday parties, take a group photo and everyone looks fucking pretty in their floral dresses and straight, fringed hair. they might look like nerds at school, but when they want to, they can look beautiful.

unlike me who can spend hours on my tudung and never get the awning right. or maybe I can make it look good, but then my face is too oily or I have a zit or my pores are just blaring huge that even if they're no real problem, I just look fucking ugly.
I have dark skin that I've obtained from stupidly not wearing sunblock on Sports Days, zit marks from stupidly scratching my zits, spectacles because I damaged my eyes in my younger age, a huge nose that becomes the point of my face (you just can't see anything else) when I start laughing loudly or become overly excited. I'm just fucking unattractive.

no. no just don't. don't give me all these stupid advice about being happy with yourself and be thankful with what God had given you. no. nothing of this crap. I am feeling down on myself and I'm blogging about it. I will never get married. I will never have children. even if I will my husband will never really love me because I'm so fucking ugly. he will always have to go online to see prettier girls to satisfy himself. because I will never be good enough.

why do pretty girls make us ugly girls feel so down? I hate them so much. nothing is fair. people will forever be biased over appearance. and I will never feel beautiful in my life.
I just hate everything right now. I feel like everyone's trying to piss me off.
There's no point to anything in this post. it's just a post to spell out the state of my mind right now.

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