Friday, March 30, 2012

secret coding.

sometimes when I see you I feel like punching you in the face and kicking you in the gut.
but when it comes to that moment when I have to kill you off,
you smile.
and that makes me smile.
sometimes I wonder what you have done to me. 

-----


So recently I've been wanting to buy a whole bunch of things online. problem is, I haven't got the guts to ask ayah to pay for the things. I already ordered and at this pace, my orders will probably continuously be moved to the next batch. I have to remind myself to pay before 7th April, cuz that's when the next batch will close..
before I thought it would cost me over a hundred, but that was because I wanted to buy a t-shirt along with it, but then the shop said they'd have to check if it's in stock so after searching high and low for a Malaysian shop that prints unofficial K-POP tees, I've decided to make my own t-shirts.

no one ever said it was hard, and Kak Ain has done it a gazillion (okay maybe three or four) times now for various occassions so why not learn from Kak Ain? it would cost a lot less too (if Kak Ain can spare me the laser printing she'd have to help me do at her boss's office), maybe the t-shirt RM15 max and the iron-on paper thing, RM4-5 per A4 piece. that means RM20 per t-shirt, rather than RM70 for an official BLUESTORM tee that's only available in L size. So I have 5 designs I want to print, total RM100...

either one, preferably black
just the guitar logo, that weird thing on the chest makes it look weird..

I want a black one~ Like the one Hyunnie is wearing <3
cuz I am


...I just noticed all of them are in black HAHA. Kak Ain would say making a white one is easier, because the text would be in black and it'll be easier when it comes to ironing it into position rather than white but whatever, black looks cool~ okay fine maybe I'll make a white one for the last one.. maybe.

so this week had been kinda moody because Ika hasn't been around a lot. I think the class is starting to see me as a person rather than 'those two' lol. but they probably see me as a very quiet person who doesn't like to socialize much. eet. or, however you spell that error sound. I'm socially awkward. because I don't know you guys very well, plus the fact that you guys are smart asses, I'm pretty much intimidated and would probably take a whole five minutes to respond to your statement or question, thinking about the right way to answer without being judged. why am I so scared of being judged?! sheesh. I must be paranoid.

so yeah. recess time would be kinda moody too. plus I miss hugging J. must be really awkward for us to hug after what happened. but that moment she came to my class to see me and not that other person, I was kinda happy.
we also had the kawad competition this week. ugh. those were the moment that I felt ugly, which you can relate to the post before this. when I went home I neat myself up and took a picture for my Twitter, but no one responded which made me feel even more uglier. but I guess there's nothing much to respond about it anyway.

warriorwarriorwarriorwarrior

whatever. the past is the past. it won't change how I feel, but I guess I shouldn't really think about it too much.
and Maria, thank you, so much, sincerely. but I told you don't even start with those type of things. It makes me even more sad to think that I would be so insecure about myself. so please. just stop.
and it did sound a bit gay but since we don't know each other that well I guess I read it as a nice gesture. hee.
I'll just post a bunch of links to pictures of only-K-POP-fans-can-relate-to tees to end this post.
Out.

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dammit you bias wrecker you.

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