btw I'll inform Alya for you. but I think she knows. like you said, it's not backstabbing at all.
so today the family had a road trip to Segamat back and forth in one day. the trip, took about 9 hours both ways, but we literally stayed there at the wedding for like, 3 or 4 hours. it was nice to see my cousins, of course. ge updated with their lives and all. I mean, who would've known how big that niece of mine had gotten? and I totally forgot Nurin is in secondary school now.
it's amazing how everyone takes the opportunity to go to a boarding school as soon as they get straight A's for UPSR. they say if they don't, they'll get homesick when they start college. I don't know. I don't think I'm the type that gets homesick easily. In fact I think I adapt to places fast. I'll probably miss home a lot, what with my family and all but it won't really affect me in any way? I don't know. after a few camps, I think I can call myself independent. on my solitary side - social side, oh someone please help me not look like a loner.
anyways I also met up with the only cousin I have who's my age. she came kinda late, and I wasn't really waiting for her anyway, but when I saw, an arrow caught one of my lungs. she looked so damn pretty, I felt like an ugly duckling. while I wore a simple yellow baju kurung with a simple light yellow tudung and simple lipgloss-only make-up, she came with a dark baju kurung with beads sown on (it matched her elder sister's, but it didn't change how nicely it looked on her), her hair permed at the ends (an aunt told us they went to the saloon) and a fringe fell over her eye-lined eyes. she also had blush on.
quickly after though, my lung healed like a miracle.
I noticed the eye-lining pointed at the sides, that sort of gave me an impression that she looks like a demon (I'm sorry, but I have no other word for how I felt she looked like) and how rudely she greeted her niece, and how she didn't salam any of us other than our aunt - and that was because the aunt said something to her like 'Hai, tak nampak makcik ke?' which reads between the lines : 'respect your elders and salam me~~' and that amount of make-up must be hiding something, right? plus, the saloon? seriously? most people perm their own hair these days.
sigh. the two of us have changed so much. we used to play at each others houses without care about all these stuff. I've always thought she looked pretty naturally - like a little ah moi. now she's taller than me, and a lot skinnier too. I guess we just grew up in different conditions and aims. when I was going back home, I voluntarily without hesitation salamed her, and she gave me this look. I don't know how to describe it. it's not sombong, and it's not the basic friendly smile we gave every other family member neither. I guess I can say it's a sorry smile - sorry we're not like before. but I can never be sure.
last thing to say : Pretty girls always have boys eyes on them. although I'm not specifically saying all the boys, but a lot. on all the pretty girls.
so when an average girl like me gets a second glance by a guy, I really appreciate it. and I think all average looking girls think like this.
and I want guys to know that although us girls like hot guys like Kim Jaejoong and Logan Lerman, when someone gives us a picture of an average looking guy, we make an effort to say they're cute. because we all know you're worth someone, if not ourselves.