Sunday, June 24, 2012


“I can’t keep doing this anymore.”

From the other side of the door, Kris hears the first sobs emerge from Tao’s chest. “I can’t. I’m sick of playing this fucking game. It’s not fair for me to love you like this when you’re not real.”

“But I am,” Kris insists.

It is the first time and last time he talks back.

“I am. I am real. Tao…Tao, open the door.”

“No! No, you’re fucking not real! You were never real. Y-You’re a fucking toy and I can’t…I want someone real.”

“I’m real,” Kris repeats, his forehead on the door. Panic flood his chest as he disobeys his motherboard; it tells him to silence himself and accept Tao’s thoughts, but Kris can’t. His human heart won’t let him. “Tao…Tao, open the door.”

Tao sobs, fists coming down on the door. “Shut the fuck up! Buying you…buying you was the worst mistake I have ever made. Who the fuck lets people fall in love with things? What kind of sick fuck?”

“I am real!” Kris yells. “I’m real. You can hear me. You can see me. You can touch me. You can taste me when we kiss. I hold you at night. You...You love me. What more do I have to do? Tell me…tell me and I will do it. I would do anything for you—“

“Shut up! Shut up, please, I just…shut up.” Tao bangs on the door, hoping to silence him. He cries so easily and it tears at the very center of Kris’ real being. Kris tries to push his way in but Tao pushes back from the other side. “Stop it! Stop trying to get it! You’ve already gotten into my fucking heart, what more do you want? And it’s…it’s not fair. This love isn’t fair. It’s always me who ends up falling in love with the wrong people, always me—“

“I love you,” Kris confesses through the door. “I love you, Huang Zi Tao.”


“I love you and I am real. I am real and I see only you—“

it's currently 6:07am and I just finished Be Human yay. bye laptop, dad will punish me again for sure~

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