Sunday, July 29, 2012

love - ohai.

okay I am so random but I was so jealous of Yen Fern getting Ms. V for English that I felt like trying out their assignments. of course I've been following YenF's English blog, since her current blog is private and she hasn't invited me yet .__. but oh well.

so, love huh?

the feeling of infatuation towards something or someone. that's what I think online dictionaries would say what it means if I searched it up on Google. to be honest I'm too lazy to do that right now, and I have to make this quick since my mom's already pissed that I'm not asleep yet. anyways.

when I was eleven, I claimed all over my diary that I love this boy in my class. heck it's been like that since I was eight, all through until I was twelve. eleven just seemed like a relevant age. anyway. at that time I was still a kid and I don't really think about all these stuff. like an average animal, I acted through intuition - I sent love letters, I confessed, I did anything really just to get his attention. but in the end, he never really saw me in any other way than as a friend. less than six months after I left primary school, I realized that I had been so immature. I felt stupid and embarrassed, but right now I just think I was a kid. kids do stupid stuff.

when you're eleven, and your tummy turns into a knot whenever a person you like talks to you, that's not love. that's attraction.

a couple of years back, I had stopped using the word 'love' bluntly. I never told my friends I loved them, I just said I cared about them. because to 'love' a certain person you're not sure you'd be able to put up with for a long time seemed ridiculous. and being the honest person that I am, I probably hurt a few people telling them "I don't love you. but I do care for you." I still wonder if the second sentence made up for it.
My parents were a different thing. I never show it, but I always love my parents and silently thank them for all they had done, but I had this big ass ego that I never show them how much I love them. And I guess that hurt them. no, not guess. it really did hurt them. I know because my mom told me this once. "Elyna, your heart is as hard as stone." I really felt hurt, which shows my heart isn't hard as stone, so I decided maybe having too much ego isn't so good.

I realized that my way of being completely honest and myself started hurting people, and the 'love' lessened day by day.

In the middle of 2011, I had a group of friends which I had something in common with - the love for all things Korean. at school there was Sya, Ika, Ida, Ain, and Aina. and me, so that made 6. we went to tuition together too, minus Aina. and there we met Khairun. she also loved KPOP. we told Aina about Khairun and vice versa. we were a gang. no commitments. until one day Ain asked me, "Have you ever wondered how it'd be like if we were a girl group?"
we started with how Sya would be the leader, and Ika would be the omma and so on. it was just a normal conversation in the middle of just another boring Sejarah class. that night I started sketching. I tried to figure out a good name, and came up with '101'. a group consisting of the seven of us.

starting from then we started going for outings and spent raya together and ate together and spent 85% of our time together. Ika and Ida said 101 was getting weird (since they saw this hair product advertisement called 101) so we hunted for a new name. After PMR we had random visits to the library and they would look up and down for inspiration. I was writing lyrics, trying to collaborate with another 'vocal group' i would like to call it, Shikaku. the whole thing was looking kinda serious. Sya and Ida found our new name - Hubble - and we a YouTube channel, and we planned making covers, and we practiced.

then Sya told us bout how she applied for technical school.

we tried our best to look at it positively. but all the efforts were dropped, obviously. we got our PMR results, cheered and cried with each other. the second week after school started the year afterwards, Sya had already packed up to register to her new school in Seremban. we had a gathering at her house, and Sya announced the recruitment to our new member - Shahira. we promised to be behind each other's back. we cried. and we loved each other.

I know such a ridiculously long story but that's how the Hubble family grew - how the love grew. we were with each other. we talked. we listened. we laughed and we cried. that was when I really felt 'love' from someone not from my family.

Love is not when you have someone next to you when you walk to the canteen. It's to know that there's someone waiting at the canteen, anticipating your participation in yet another exciting discussion about the latest music video. Love is not to have someone to talk to, it's about having someone to listen when you talk. Love is not about just being there, it's about doing something to make 'there' a happy place.

we each have a story behind us. and every time the other is feeling down, we would hold her hand, letting her know she's not alone. that's when I know - we love each other.

ugh I am being so sappy. about family. well we all love our family right -shot-
I just don't feel comfortable talking about family matters, sorry ^^; hope I did well!
lol Ms. V isn't even my teacher what am I doing.

extra : I also love these boys - for real. I know this love is real okay because well they make my day. c:


Monday, July 23, 2012

No Mercy Album Review

Okay this is the first time I'm blogging through my phone and it's cuz I sort of can't sleep with No Mercy album playing and I keep thinking of reviewing it but never getting the chance so I'm just gonna start first, not even sure if I'm gonna post this but yeah. I just gotta get it out there.

I mean I think we all agree that No Mercy is a very awesome title track. It's not lacking from the other title tracks so far (in fact I like this far more than Power - less unnecessary noises but more whistle sounds which is like their trademark) but I was very dissatisfied by the music video.

Okay so I'm just gonna assume that we all know that TSEnt spent half a mil on PROPS ONLY for the first two MVs (the alien robot thingy then the spaceship) so I'm guessing they wanted to cut off expenditures due to probably the sales being lower than expected target. Okay fine whatever no more fancy props. BUT. The Matoki head is already there and in existence, right? No more money have to be spent. What, you can't find another person to just pop that thing on his head and walk? Then they had to hire a different director too like why? That's the director that made us fall in love with Warrior in the first place. Same director with SuJu = same sets a.k.a awkward empty rooms.

Ika said the other day "now they look like a normal boy group" and that actually made me sad. Because to me, B.A.P isn't just another boy group. Which is why I chose them over EXO. EXO is just an image of the perfect boy band concluded by SMent through their experiences with previous boy bands they had like SuJu, SHINee n DBSK. They were trained hard to fit this image. But B.A.P's different. They started off with Bang's hip hop concept in mind. But to make it in the Korean music industry of course they had to be somewhat pop-ish, and to stand out from the rest they needed something different. So from Bang's hip hop idea they morphed it into a tough, badass boy band concept, with strong pop-like vocals of Daehyun and Youngjae, then Jongup who's what you can say a free-spirit that can do b-boy when hip hop is involve, but then can pop it and do it slick and sexy when needed too. They had the perfect ingredients tbh, and I salute TSent for that, but No Mercy was just kinda lower to my expectations. Not the music, not the dance no, just the music video. But let's admit it. The music video's what makes the song, especially to non-fanatics. Power got 1 mil views in 3 days and No Mercy's still at 600k after 5/6 days.

Okay enough with that I think I got a bit off topic. Now to the tracklist. Talking bout that fyi TSent had to 'throw out' 50k of the first few copies due to a printing error and here I am facepalming and pitiying all those people who preordered and now have to wait till the 25th for the physical album to be done (mind you, just be like done fresh out of the printing factory, not distributed yet then there's the shipping sobs poor them). So back to the tracklist that consists of 5 songs including the title track, Goodbye which was released earlier and 3 unreleased songs (now released ofc lol).

Goodbye came out like 5 days after their showcase in Malaysia and I was like whoa whoa slow down, boys. Why so fast. Then I realized Warrior-Power time distance was actually the same as Power-No Mercy time distance (aprx 3 months) which made me sad to think how busy the boys are :c but then I remember they're up against a group by SMent for Best Rookie Group awards so I try to think positively. Ugh why do I always go off topic. Goodbye was effing awesome, what with the super cute matoki MV (which makes me wonder if they're gonna make an anime or something from this lol and that's the opening theme but idk) and the music traditional rock-based, with the complete drum-guitar-bass set which, I think everyone should know is my basic fav genre actually (hint:my ultimate bias group is CNBLUE afterall). I loved it with it's meaningful not-love-themed lyrics, Daehyun's vocals and the just-enough amount of rap (but not enough HimUp lines sobs). It was a start to a very expectant crowd.

Then No Mercy came out (everyone including me loved it ofc, totally oblivious of the lack in the MV due to our spazzing over oppas. Thats another thing. Because they're already awesome in general everyone decided to look over the MV details so). Then I listened to the other songs and I was really annoyed with something.

In their first two albums, there was sort of a sequence of 1. The swag intro track, doesnt go over 2 mins. 2. The title track 3. The tougher, more to hiphop mix with slight rock (usually my fav track in the album) and 4. The ballad song (usually my least fav but i suck it up). Thing is, they didnt use this 'format' for No Mercy. Ok i get it first mini album, has to be special etc etc. But not only did they lack swag (the intro) but then they cut off the hiphop too, put 2 slow songs and a dance mix.

I was utterly dissappointed. Where's Bang's hiphop concept?

Okay okay maybe I'm being rash here. Voicemail was technically composed by Bang so I shouldnt question his rights or anything lol plus his satoori idea still worked it in No Mercy. I guess they just took Voicemail as the hiphop track when they were thinking of the variety of the tracklist. But in my opinion that is, they made a much less exciting album, coming from a group who's main concept was supposed to be tough and badass. Still, Voicemail is my fav from the 3, meaningful 'i dont need you' lyrics and Zelo's powerful rap and the guitar line.

Dancing in the Rain was refreshing - somewhat cute and sexy themed track from the tough guys haha. I liked it, smiled while reading the trans (i was laughing when i read No Mercy's trans. They're too cool for anyone's asses tbh). But then What My Heart Says (or something like that. its too long plus i couldnt bother since I didnt like it much) was slow and emotional. It is a ballad afterall. Wasn't my taste but I guess even tough guys have actual deep emotions. But i guess I would've liked it if they had replaced this with something stronger, to support their tough image. Something like no.3 tracks in their previous albums. It was overall good with a disappointing end.

Okay so I might sound mean but this is my honest opinion on my 2nd bias group's album, and my dissatisfaction was even more reason to write about it. I wanted to do something like this with Ear Fun too tbh but the only things I had to complain about was the need of concept change and the absence of Jonghyun's slow track so I didn't take the time but I just had to with No Mercy this time.
I get it. Nothing has to go my way and like the boys worked really hard and all. I get it. But there's always room for improvement, right? And i want the boys to do well too and for someone to do well they need to look at where they're lacking and improve. So in my opinion, this is how they can improve and keep up to par with their epicness. You might have a different opinion and that's fine with me.

So that's all for tonight. Almost time for sahur. I'll try to get some sleep before mom knocks on my door.
P.S, although I didn't like the ballad I still have it on my plalylist cuz I like listening to Jongup's singsong voice c: yes I'm very much biased. Lol k bye
P.P.S, I forgot to mention No Mercy also lacked of Himchan's derp faces lol. But at he looked really really hot :>

Friday, July 20, 2012

comments are such loves.

first of all. SBS streaming tab is on and AGD is showing. 13 fanfics, and Naddo's blog left to read zzz. let's just make quick updates shall we.

So it's Ramadhan. at 12 I was already feeling kinda empty. unlike fasting at school, there're many more challenges at home cuz you're supposedly free to eat anywhere and anytime. But at school you practically don't eat anytime else other than during recess so. wow just talking about this makes me hungry.
it's really tiring, but I'm sure I'll get used to it halfway through the month~ for now it feels really slow, but like last night's tarawikh, it's quicker than we think. plus by the 20th day we'd never want Ramadhan to end. the food during breaking, the weight we lose slowly lol.

about school. exams start on the 7th, right? I still haven't started studying, but I'm planning to soon. right now it's only because I didn't go online for so long, and there's so many things I wanna do ; ; I was supposed to practice piano so right now I'm like wtf am I doing. but I guess since my parents aren't at home and all those people doing construction outside, I don't really feel comfortable. so I'm planning to finish this off. last thing I'll do is stream B.A.P on MuCore later at 3+. then if my mom's home I'll practice piano. if not I'd probably sleep cuz right now I'm just blogging and I'm feeling so empty sobs. I'll read something while waiting for Isyak tonight promise.
tomorrow, I'll have piano class in the morning so I'll do my homework right after. I'm worried if I delay it any longer by the time I get to it I'll be drained. and I just remembered something. M!Countdown will be showing at tvN at 8.45pm sobs I'll be performing tarawikh at that time. I'll just catch the repeat then. will be easier anyway, since I'll just fast forward to B.A.P's performance :3 hopefully I'll have the spirit to study seriously~~ I've slacked off enough~~

about KPOP sobs B.A.P with No Mercy comeback lemme die. then CNBLUE's coming back in Japan with Come On on 1st August. I'll have to be studying at that time, but I'll never miss out on fangirling seriously.

next. about fanfics. I cry every time I get a new comment. my feels :

I'll just summarize my favourite comments.

"it's gorgeous how you created a total love what-do-you-call-five-way between them, yet you didn't make any of them a hateful character. "

"Sehun addressing himself as the derpface put a smile on my face."

"the way Kai died is just - I don't know, but when I read that part I stopped breathing for a moment and had to look at something else."

"excuse me while I search for a new box of tissues."

"it's really difficult not to feel sad if someone you cherish the most leave you and whatever you do wont make them comeback to you."

"It's a mix of high school flings and gothic romance which is absolutely divine"

"it's impossible for Krystal to ever forget Sehun since guilt is the most horrible feeling ever. "

"i think Standing in the rain will haunt me for awhile"

"kai is basically has no one, though taemin got his back but i don't know. it's not enough for him to stay and in the end left taemin all alone."

"Their beautiful friendship and then they got separated and they will never be reunited together."

"at least their fighting over a planet and not something petty like a girl"

"This one's a little more confusing than the others, I'm guessing it was written earlier. I still like the language you used, though."

""I'll pay ten won for the pigeon." -spits tea- this is brilliant."

from LJ and DA.
I noticed something which is that LJ people prefer my OT5 fic while DA people prefer my B.A.P fics >< I'm glad they each have their own fans, but LJ people give more analysis to the story. I love it when they do that. if only DA people would comment like that on my B.A.P fics too. I wanna know what they think.. ><

so I'm finishing this off cuz I wanna watch MuCore. hope this was enough update. no fanfic plans anytime soon, cuz I'm still not sure about the YongSeo sorry Fern. but, I will be back!!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

I'm refraining myself from blogging tbh. it just feels so wrong to blog when I have little time as it is.

Saturday, July 7, 2012


Fear not, I've got plenty of fancam links if you need it~
But below is just a compilation of my favourite performances of last night.


The sound quality of this is quite bad, but the others are just as bad since it's a slow song and a lot of people were screaming so it can't be helped. Chose this one cuz it was super close. I think this person was at the VIP seat - all her videos are so close-up!
I recommend her if the sound doesn't matter to you / visual > voice.


A song dedicated to BABYs~ I'm not a fan of the song but I can't help but sing along, knowing their true intention <3 Their pronounciation was good compared to other boy groups lol. Plus it's so original haha. Who would've thought to make this song seem very boy band-ish? B.A.P did, apparently and they came up with a dance for it too.


Short and simple, yet so cool~ Zelo's beat boxing was so real I forgot to mention it on the last post. and Jongup b-boying is just too cool~~
and this video shares the spot with Daehyun's cute Baby solo dance haha~

this is the only YT account that posted the short performances during Q&A session ^^


Awesome song. My favourite track in Power. And the first performance was in Malaysia udsfd I loved it.


...can you guess?
I even prepared two versions of it so that I can share it's epicness with all of you.
The it-wouldve-been-my-view-if-I-was-taller version (which I prefer tbh) :

and also the close-up-see-his-sex-face version :

can you feel the sex?

Friday, July 6, 2012

cheetos abs.

to be honest I'm working on this even harder than I usually do for school work sobs. I guess you do need interest to do well.

right now I'm watermarking my pictures that I took during the showcase online. it really isn't an easy job cuz uploading those huge-ass non-quality pictures take a long time so I don't know what I should do in between the intervals. so I'm here to blog about the showcase - what I should be doing probably when I've had enough rest for every single activity I've gone through.

The whole thing was full of tension around my mom. the thing is, I already told my brother the night before that we're going straight from home at 5. apparently he had class that ends at 5. so my parents were going all crazy about how I'm only bothering everyone else by going to this showcase and that it's useless and stuff. in the end my mom 'offered' help so we got things together. but ayah made the comment "ala dekat Bukit Bintang tu. tempat maksiat-maksiat tu la" and I don't know. I guess... it hurt that he didn't trust me.

when me and mom went to get Megan, her phone was still switched off and she wouldn't answer and we weren't sure where the house was. Mak kept complaining about how ridiculous this was and I just wished that she would just accept the fact that she's feeling all that anger because she doesn't want me to go for the showcase. ugh so we finally found Megan and Adilah was already at our house so after a lil prep we finally got in the car and went on our way - no more parents scolding us. I mean, me.

we took off at about 5.50pm, but we arrived at 7.40pm due to the jam argh. we were kinda late, but we manage to claim our tickets. me and Adilah left Megan (we told her, don't worry) to go find a place to pray - which is the building across the road lol. came back, claimed our posters and got inside. but we were a little late, so even though we were supposed to be closer to the stage it felt miles away.

this is how the seating was supposed to be:

red circle marks where we could've been, green line shows what could've been our distance from the stage; even if we were any later even.
but the red circle below shows where we were and green line shows how far we really were from the stage.

I don't know how the seating plan suddenly changed, but it did and it cause us very 'cute' girls a very hard time seeing - there was even a guy about six foot tall in front of us. what even. our height went as 149-154-159 cm, Adilah being tallest. we were hopeless, really - unless we had like a totally good quality HD camera. that would be a different thing.
but when the opening video started playing, the whole place went 'thump thump', and it was so exciting it didn't matter where I was (sort of. I mean they were being annoying with all the cameras but then again I held a camera too lol). they performed Power first, followed by Unbreakable and What the Hell. They talked a little, probably an intro to their solo performances cuz Yongguk left with Daehyun after that, so the other four said a few things then left when Yongguk was ready.
Yongguk performed I Remember, with Daehyun on vocals. Zelo performed Never Give Up next. both of these performances all I wanted to do was take good pictures cuz I can listen to the songs on my phone lol. but after Zelo was Jongup, and Jongup did a Chris Brown medley dance solo.

Let me tell you that by the end of his performance I really wanted to fuck him.
like, for real.

I think we all know the story - he ripped his shirt bla bla bla he looked hot bla bla. didn't anyone notice how long he did that hip thrust thing though? it was FREAKING LONG that it made me think sick things okay. #confessions I just wanna marry that boy and have sex with him every day.
moving on. oh wait I didn't take much pictures for Jongup's performance... I have a sense of regret but I guess it's for the best. so that I won't do... wrong stuff ew why even no. shut up Elyna just shut up *slaps self*

*dies of embarrassment*

well where were we? next Youngjae and Himchan appeared on stage singing Baby, acoustic. with Himchan on the guitar jbfafd you know how much I love guitar boys. I get it. Baby. as in like, it's for us BABYs. not in tribute to Justin Bieber or anything (puhlease). so later they lose the melodic thing and started dancing, Daehyun joining them and they did probably the most colourful performance B.A.P had ever done (Never Give Up consists of graffiti art, which different. it's not that type of colourful). but it was fun :D plus, CONFETTI!

after that they had a question session. they had a question board where you could put post-it questions on it and the member will pick one to answer. Himchan's was to take a Polaroid and post it on Twitter. Youngjae got a question for Yongguk, which was 'what's his ideal type' after he answered he chose a question for Youngjae which is 'can you rap?' so Youngjae rapped Yongguk's part in Power. Zelo's was 'what does BABY mean?' he didn't answer very clearly (maknae answering a serious question, what would you expect?) then Daehyun's was 'if you have abs, can you show us?' all of us screamed (obviously) but he said it's not time yet. Youngjae told him to replace it with dancing, so he danced to Baby dsjbds lol. Jongup's was 'if Chris Brown wasn't your fav dancer, than who would it be?' Jongup said Micheal Jackson and some other guy that wasn't very clear. then he b-boyed a bit.

so after that they performed It's All Lies. they were sitting down, and Jongup was on my side of the hall, so once in awhile I would scream his name so that he'd look at me, but even if he did see me he just concentrated on performing well and keeping the serious-mode on. when they stood up for Secret Love I gave up. it's okay. there was a possibility he did see me, even if for one second. it was okay.
after that they went to change so they played us a video from probably the first photobook. an intro for their last song - Warrior. and it was so awesome to see them relive their royal-debut. it was just, jbfadf.

they said thank you and got ready for the fansign. we watched painfully as they signed the posters of VIP people. then they said bye and people started leaving but we stayed a little longer. they started throwing water bottles of the members and extra posters. I got a Power poster fbsndfe. then I started searching for a staff to ask them to give my fan letter to B.A.P. thankfully, I found one. I got so happy, seriously. it had my drawings, my wishes, Hubble's wishes and my phone number and DA (lol) all for B.A.P. and now they finally got it T T so happy I can't.

we took pictures and went looking around at stuff. Megan bought a t-shirt. it was the last design, so Adilah didn't buy although she really wanted a tee. and I just stood there, broke with unsupportive parents. my bro came and we headed back home and here I am, four hours later. I'll upload the watermarked pictures on FB. but it won't be quality though; be warned.


Sunday, July 1, 2012

indie music.

well I watched Simon and Martina's K Indie playlist, expecting some sort of smooth song to listen to but I ended up liking this one the best. one of it was even supposed to be Minhyuk's drama OST but I didn't like it as much as I did this. fuck was this awesome. now I can't sleep.

I really didn't watch the video, but while it was playing I just smiled and nodded my head to the drums. a lot of people think the lead vocal is cute, including Martina but I personally preferred the somewhat quiet-crazy looking bassist. you know those type of people who can't talk to others. probably schizophrenic. (so obsessed with this idea ever since last week's Lit class.) plus he kinda looks like a mix of EXO's Chanyeol and Sehun. sdjfbds.

I searched up their profiles of course but they're old lol. the bassist was a '85. the youngest was '87 and the oldest was '79 ok haha. but still man their music is awesome. not really into searching up other songs just yet, but I will. soon.

but I really wanted to look up more Japanese bands rather than Korean. I mean KPOP is cool and JRock is awesome but KRock.. I can't I'll be obsessed.
still. this band. so many imagines. like maybe each f them have a disease mhmahahwahaha (this sounds a lot like Winnie the Pooh..)
okay well have to finish my DaeJong bye