I watched Reply 1997 with my mom today. Episode 9-12. Mom was crying and she didn't feel sleepy so we went on. We watched the kiss scene and I sang along to Deli Spice's Confession. Its definitely one of the best songs in the soundtrack.
After mom decided to sleep I went to clean up and go to bed myself. Throughout I was feeling sick in the stomach because we still have no idea how Jongup faired in his SATs. I got back to my phone when I suddenly got a tweet from birthday girl. She asked if it's okay to call me. I started to panic.
"It hurts, you know?"
I started to feel what Ken (or what's his name again?) from Fern's story felt and birthday girl was Jun. I gave her my best words - what I believe she wanted to hear, but I honestly wouldn't know - but sometimes you just need someone to listen. So I listened.
I started to think about how this world revolved and sometimes those stories you watch through dramas don't just happen in dramas. I mean, stories like that must've happened for someone to retell it, right? We don't see it, but each and every one of us are the protagonist of the drama we're playing - our life.
I got so upset this afternoon for something small and stupid, I wonder what I'll be like when I have to go through things like birthday girl did. I honestly felt like crying with her. Just listening hurt in the chest. At this point of life, I haven't lost anyone dear to me yet. How will I be when it happens?
Me and Harith aren't in talking terms right now and its for the silliest thing even he couldn't figure it out - he didn't use the theme I worked so hard for his Tumblr. Stupid boy. But I guess I'm kinda stupid for holding a grudge like this too. I don't even have 'special feelings' for Harith, how will it be if it was my boyfriend? I think too much, honestly. About the trivial things.
I played Confessions again before I got to bed. Without knowing what the lyrics meant or if it even had any relevance to my life, I started to cry. This song is one out of the many songs from the soundtrack of a drama I play the role of a protagonist - my life.
P.S, did I spell protagonist right?