Thursday, November 22, 2012



so this is my... introduction? of myself? Tell me what you think.
[roughly edited]

I’ve always been the type of person that can’t express my ideas very well. I had never thought my ideas mattered, so I would keep silent. Probably it happens for a reason, if my ideas were never heard. That’s what I’ve always thought. That it’s okay.

But do you know that feeling when you have a certain opinion about something, but no one would listen? They hear it once and shoot it down immediately, as if anything that would come from you would never be good enough. And you try to give an explanation, but never given the opportunity to do so. The feeling is very agonizing, but nothing bad had ever come out of it. The ideas used in a certain group project that I didn’t contribute to usually end up okay, if not well. But I would like to know how it would feel like to have my idea being used. Successful or not, at least it was considered and found usable to someone.

I am a writer. I would say I want to be a writer, but I have written quite a lot these past few years. I’m not saying I am already good enough, as there will always be space for improvement. I would like people to listen (or rather, read) the ideas that I have, and learn how to tell people those ideas through my writings. Therefore, a position as a teen journalist on The Star newspaper would be for the best of me, and also The Star itself, as my ideas can be put through for good use.

In getting this position, I will do my best in being committed to my assignments, accept constructive criticism and learn how to improve myself in the long run. I will also fight for the position as an intern in The Star newspaper as it will get me running for my career in the future. I may have a timid personality, but I am honest with my opinions and am passionate with what I enjoy doing – and one of it is writing.

I would also like to learn how to speak up. Maybe the reason my ideas were never heard was because I never took the opportunity to tell them. I find the best medium for me to express what I feel through writing; therefore I feel that being a journalist would help me learn how to express myself better.

I can’t say that I could never imagine myself working for The Star newspaper. I had always been the type to sit in front of a computer and just type all day long – whether it was a story or a school assignment, thoughts flowed through in front of the bright LED screen as my fingers ran across the keyboard, typing in the letters that came across my mind. Therefore, earning the title as a Starstruck writer would be a dream come true for me.

(487 words)

[if you feel like editing it, feel free to edit and email it to me @ . Copyrighted by me so don't fcking use it for your applications please and thank you]

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I just realized my blog post bout idol interactions was retarded HAHA well I'll just delete that post since it's so irrelevant to everything. 

Currently listening to Bullet by Steel Train on This Is My Jam. Honestly I don't think I'd fit in but what's wrong with being a hipster on a hipster website, right? oho. Who'd thought of sharing Asian music on this website though. I'd tell you that Japanese music is a lot like most of the music there, maybe slightly heavier, but I guess you'd reply with "But I don't understand it" so okay fine.
I'm planning to do a mix like Korean-Japanese-Korean-Japanese. It'll be fun to figure what type of music I wanna share every week. Plus listening to songs I can't sing to helps when I need to do things that involve concentration like write a blog post or read a book so. Enjoying it.

so today was the class party. Ika picked me up at around 9.45am and we went to school to pick up Loginy. while finding directions to Tropicana Golf Club we were complaining to ourselves how we shouldn't have done it there. but whatever. what's happened happened. Nadhrah and Maryam 'escorted' us to the bowling alley and after all the details, we started playing. Nadhrah was fcking good, scoring over 100 in the first game and around 70+ in the second. the first one seemed like a warm-up for the other group, most of them getting over 50 in the second game. on our side... yea we just threw the ball lol. except Nadiah, who probably had a lot of practice, having a membership and all.

soon, lunch came and we ate and there was a lot of selcas being taken and such throughout. when the bill came, we had to pay an extra RM7.30, which I frown upon since we already gave up our 30 bucks we were supposed to get from the class money. choosing a private area for the class party... really it was a bad idea.

later we went to play at the playground and took a lot of pictures and we went back home at 3.30pm, which was already kinda late since I haven't performed my prayer yet. Ika decided to come back home with me, but then I discovered no one was at home so we walked to my mom's office and I performed my prayer at 4.05pm /facepalm honestly I am so lucky I made it in time. 15 minutes later, the Asar azan sounded lol hmm. we hung around at the office, waiting for my mom and even when my mom came she had work so in the end I went back home when Bakmal came. and we didn't even head home. Abang was like "Na, teman Kak Ain pegi ambik Umar ngan Haris. *sees Ika* Nanti suruh Kak Ain hantar kawan Elyna dulu."

I asked Ika if she wanted to go home (it was 5.15pm, and her brothers were supposed to pick her up at 6 at my house) and she said there's nothing to do at home anyway so she followed us. it was a big mess, honestly, and Ika being there didn't make much of a difference. kids. 
arrived home, prayed, chatted with Ika a bit. she went home and that was practically when my life's excitement went down. slept until like, 9.30pm.

Hubble's sleepover is postponed to the 30th November. yes, the night of the MAMA awards. I hope they can make it, because even last year we wanted to watch it together but it didn't work out. Khairun was the only one who replied so far, saying that she has a high chance of making it. Ika doesn't have tuition or anything. I think Ida has kawad practice, but she can come later on (although it'll probably halfway through the show, since it starts at 4pm). I really hope the others can make it. I was hoping it would be okay since it's the weekdays and their parents would be working anyway but maybe they'd be busy on the 1st (Sat) so idk. praying real hard.

talking bout praying, 28th is coming real fast... since it's technically already the 23rd, five more days to Jongup's results. 

I just read everyone's blogs (everyone meaning Fern, Eva, Xueh Wei, Hanis and Naddo) and well I'm loving the Blogger community that's building up right now. It used to be me and Hanis, back in form 1, and SHL that we build up together. then Hanis dropped out of the Blogger scene but I found pals from school who blogs often like Xueh Wei, from there I got Nadhrah's and Hafizah's then I read Fern's trip to Korea and I started following her. it all seemed to die out when we got to form 3 and Tumblr stepped in, making us lazy to use words and follow the concept "pictures speak a thousand words" and such. it's coming alive again though. yay, I guess. 
'I guess' because it wouldn't really make a difference to my blog since no one really bothers. Ika told me she read my blog silently, so I'm (silently) thankful for that. I read Sya's once in awhile too, but I get sensitive sometimes thinking how Sya can live without us and all that emo shit. even my cousin Akmal doesn't blog anymore, and he was one of my favourite bloggers (although it gets awkward when there's a family gathering since he knows my blog and probably visited it at least once. shit that's embarrassing). 
I believe, there was a point where Blogger was the shit. now, Blogger is just one of the many shits that most people who don't have more than two words to say tend to overlook.

anyway I'll be removing Jonghyun's picture that you see instead of the Blogger icon on your tabs. Probably back to Blogger icon because anything else would be... weird. I can't remember how though, tbh ahah. I'll try my best.

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