Monday, December 17, 2012

Another unrelated blog post.

You know, different people blog for different reasons.

Fern blogs bout daily life. What's going on. Rarely emo stuff, probably just once in awhile (maybe because she has that private blog oho) and sometimes just little things she wants to share (like that wayy cute 3-part story).
Eva and Naddo blogs when there some sort of special thing going on for them. Or maybe when they have something to say.
Not used to what Xueh Wei blogs about but it feels a lot like she's writing a personal article for us sometimes. (Yes even with the brackets).
Hanis blogs what she can't say. Anger, feelings she keeps to herself. She doesn't update it often, so I should probably be happy about that.

I... I'm still not sure what I specifically blog about. I want opinions and give a lot of opinions no one really cares about. Probably just things I want to share but have no one to share it with, hoping that anyone who's reading have a similar interest. When I blog about what happened in real life I probably just haven't told my mom yet. Its tiring and useless blabbing so I try not to do that anymore. Trying to keep reality out of this blog. It tends to get depressing.
Sometimes I feel like in this blog, I'm just shouting "HELP!! I NEED A SUGGESTION FOR THE COLOURING OF THIS VIDEO" or "HELP!! I NEED A WORD SIMILAR TO THIS ONE BECAUSE I USED IT IN THE LINE BEFORE SO IT WOULD SEEM REPETITIVE" but the truth is, no one's really gonna help much lol. Its out of their hands, I know. Just hoping for a miracle.

Today I vented out my frustration to Ika through a phone call. In nine minutes I shouted and ranted and cried and sobbed about my family. Its not something I would wanna share here and I can't see how its possible for me to talk about it without leaking what the actual problem is. Its just that... I don't see how other people can do it, you know? Talk about their feelings and yet not leak what is the actual problem in her life, or maybe someone else's. She can use the most beautiful words, string it together, hinting what she's talking about but then lock it back up and leave you in curiosity if she was actually talking about your life.

This girl is Zaza. I rarely read her blog because it tends to get a bit over-thought or maybe I just can't relate. But recently her posts were short and I did get jealous, I really did. Because I wonder why the girl who had the brains and the talent also had to take what I enjoy doing, and want to do, which is a naturally beautiful writing style. Her descriptions, her vocabulary. If I had what she has, I would write everyday. But no. Its her talent. I have to work on it myself.

Taking two more Panadol pills tonight. Feeling even worse than last night because of the flu and more rain wow. The only thing I can think positively of right now is that Allah SWT made me sick to wither away my sins so alhamdulillah for that. One thing I can depend on when I can't depend on anything else is thoughts of Allah SWT. That's how important faith is. No matter what you believe in, just have faith and you'll never fall.

Still waiting for a response on TSU so that I can post it somewhere else. I don't understand why I'm doing this but I just really gotta make sure this is actually good. You know, in other people's point of view. (Btw TSU is a BABY forum) The girls are probably coming tomorrow and the house is a mess but I don't wanna complain. They're probably coming after 3 anyway so I got plenty of time plus I won't have much time with them so I'll just try to enjoy their presence instead of worrying about it. Yes, still living by the motto "People who mind doesn't matter, and people who matter doesn't mind". That was by Dr Seuss, I think.
Kay well. Take care.


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