Yes I am jealous. But I think it's stupid for me to be jealous because even I know AFF is stupid. Thing is, I liked that story that Ika wrote too. That was really good, how the ending was kinda unexpected. I think the only reason I got more marks than her on that assignment was because I actually wrote a whole story for that, and in quite a number of pages too, so Pn. P obviously thinks I deserve more but honestly, her story was so touching I almost cried myself, even though I knew the ending.
I'm just gonna boost my self confidence slightly by posting We Must Be Killers on dA and LJ. AFF is killing me because I don't know how to tag and no one there sees me. TSU even more so because my topic got like 4 views and no replies then there's this one-shot fluff that over 90 views and 8 replies it's just.. wow. Sad life.
LJ and dA, please don't disappoint me. I'm still hoping that guy (or is it a girl?) who's the admin of SecretSocietyWriters doesn't give up on my stories. I just hope the title will attract enough readers on bapwarriors community. Honestly, I don't have a lot of readers and it kinda saddens me. It lowers my self confidence a lot and the only way to put it back up is to think that highly of myself and that's just sad. But I have no other way.
I'm the one who wants to actually publish books in the future. That's why the opinion of an audience is needed so much. But what's the use when I don't have a large audience?
Thanks a lot guys, for reading. Honestly. I'm glad to have point of views from a lot of people. I need it so.
I just deleted about four paragraphs of over-thinking. Conclusion : I like writing, I find enjoyment in it, but there's that after effect of wanting to know what other people think of it. And I hate it.