Sunday, December 30, 2012


Had to delete two more posts because Gayo Daejun tomorrow and I'll reserve this post for everything else I have to say before the last post of 2012.
....Jap I'm slowly realizing Gayo Daejun might be the last post of 2012. But I won't let it be RAWR Believe it or not I would have to post it in 2013, the last post of 2012 lol. oh well. what to do.

Anyway this was featured on AFF and I just thought; why is it that this exists yet AFF sucks so much?


I put on some music because well. In all honesty One Direction's Live While We're Young or of some sorts is stuck in my head. All the 1D songs the mainstream radios play sound the same and so fucking annoyingly addictive. Anyway.

My current condition is second day of period and while yesterday my ovaries fucked with me today my hormones are uncontrollable. I'm in bed and one minute I'm looking at comel sleeping next to me lovingly and the next I feel like ranting off about every other cliched Jongup stan like sob I deserve him better than all you idiots
Also I'm thinking if I should cook rice maybe I should call mom hmm after I finish this update

Excited bout Gayo Daejejun but also scared I won't be able to get a good stream. I'm not ready for school but I'm trying. Aired my shoes but made no attempt to wash them. I see my uniform - the same ones I wore last year, in its same condition. I don't even know not even caring bout how I look on the first day of school. Got my textbooks and socks today. Also I greeted Yee sensei and somehow reminded myself that my Japanese exam results are gonna come out soon. Freaked. Got responses on the fic and I think some people didn't expect that ending. I gotta admit, the style is different from the rest of the fic and I made it so so that there won't be any hanging questions. What is given is what is and unlike the rest of the fic, it requires no thinking from the audience. Therefore it must've been somewhat an anti-climax to some. Kinda sad but I also did it to cover my own flaws - the truth is, I don't believe there ever is a concrete reason to kill; yourself or another person.

So stupid that I made a fic to kill people but I don't think its worth it. Its for entertainment purposes, after all. I'm thinking as a writer who wants an audience, not as one who wants to tell amazing stories because reality is, I don't have amazing stories to tell. Only stories to create - but they're not neccessarily amazing, now are they? I write to feed the society with what sells - drama.
In my own way, I am SM Entertainment. How do I turn into a Stardom Entertainment though?

((Stardom Ent is Block B & EvoL's company))

Anyways while I'm here thinking about things that don't require my thoughts, my Smart Holiday is still sitting on my table, 90% undone. I gotta enjoy my last day with the laptop though. I'll worry about school tomorrow.

Wow is that an abstract procrastination I see?

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