***the italic words are either a mark between the past and present or the lyrics to the song. good luck interpreting it***
The stale smell of iron ran through Jongup's nostrils, so strong that his waken eyes flickered open, curious of his surrounding. He lifted his head off the table surface he laid on, his body on a chair by its side. He looked around, feeling the humidity, sticky on his face. He was in his basement. Glass shards were everywhere. Unrecognizable bodies laid on the floor, ripped open at the abdomen, random broken things surrounding them like trash piles, dark red liquid splattered across the dark walls. Jongup's eyes ran across the room back and forth in fear. He started counting the bloody bodies. One, two, five, ten... how many were there exactly? He can't tell.
Most of the few light bulbs were smashed, leaving only one lit, a standing figure underneath it, something long and sharp in his hand.
"Junhong?" Jongup's lips were numb, saying the words in his mind a second slower.
What the... "What the fuck happened?! What did you do?!" Jongup stood up, the fear creeping to his heart, beating faster. His body feels weak to do anything, though.
"You mean what did we do." Junhong turned around, a smirk on his face. What?
"I didn't do anything..."
"Jongup wake up! Jongup?"
Jongup's eyelids separated. A coffin came to sight, Junhong's picture standing in a frame on top of it. He looked around. He was in a church, the seats half full, most of them from Junhong's orphanage, forced to fit into suits and pretty dresses to pay respect to someone they barely knew. Jongup's parents were by his side. In the background the sermon was mumbling about the Lord and heaven.
"You okay honey? Still can't sleep at night?" Jongup's mother asked, concerned. Lately Jongup hadn't been able to sleep, nightmares creeping into his dreams every night. That knife. Those bodies. The blood. But last night he actually found a cure. He doesn't know if he should be taking it though... not at these circumstances. Not when Junhong died because of it.
No. Junhong didn't die because of the drugs. He died because of Jongup.
Jongup went to school with eye bags, rubbing the dreams away. He was greeted with stares. Everyone had heard of Junhong. He ignored the whispers. The blonde junior footballer approached Jongup, apologetical eyes kept on the floor. "Man, sorry bout Killer."
Jongup looked straight into his eyes, sharp with suppressed anger. "You never learned his name, did you?"
"Well I never thought he'd die..."
"Well he did," Jongup replied, the anger mixing around in his body with the feeling of guilt. "And we all killed him. We're all killers."
"We must be killers."
No. I didn't do any of this. The blood is on Junhong's hands. I fell asleep and suddenly... suddenly...
"Junhong? Are you okay?"
Junhong's left forearm was in a puddle of his own blood, some still flowing out of the cuts. It read 'KILLER', rough and deep. His right hand held a knife. Junhong's head laid on his right upper arm, his eyes resting on the bloody word.
"Do you see all these people, Jongup? Do you see what we did?" Junhong said in a hushed voice, his life at the end of its line. His face was paler than ever, his blue lips moving slowly. "We must be killers. We killed all of them..."
Jongup did see the bodies. But he passed out again, waking up with a more sober mind. Less drugged. It wore off him faster. Must be because he was controlling the urge. He's just glad he woke up in time to see Junhong still alive in front of him. He needed to hear his last words.
Junhong on the other hand never got sleep. He took more and more in boredom as his partner dozed off, addiction towards the taste taking over him fast, the fleeting feeling of the world dissolving under his feet taking him away. He was immortal. His father could do it. So can he. He could kill everyone, and he would still be alive. See? Killer. He could rip his arm apart and he's still smiling. That was how powerful he was.
But.. he feels weak now? Jongup. He has to share this power. His friend. His family. The only one he loved. He walked weakly towards the table Jongup was lying asleep, heart throbbing in his chest, hands shakily grabbing a chair to sit on. His warm - no, it's gotten cold suddenly - fingertips touched Jongup's hands, staining it with a bit of blood. Jongup? Wake up. Let's kill together...
"Junhong, just let it go happily, okay?" Jongup whispered to him. "You had a friend. I love you. Your life wasn't sad. It was filled with happiness."
"Jongup..." Junhong said hazily. "Let's leave together... I don't want to be alone..."
"I- I can't." Jongup told. "You won't be alone there. You have your mom. Don't worry bout it."
"Wha... what about you?" Junhong asked, using his last few breathes to pull in the energy and frowned. "You... you don't have anyone."
"I'll be fine," Jongup reassured, pulling a smile. "Now stop talking. Relax."
Jongup closed Junhong's tired eyelids, watching his breathing slow down.
"Jongup..." Junhong whispered, the words barely coming out, his cold lips frozen. "Thank you."
That was what Junhong wanted. He wanted it to end. He never told Jongup, but Jongup knew. He couldn't take his own life though. He needed help. That's what Jongup gave him. A little boost.
"We all killed him," Jongup mumbled, reassuring himself those words were true. Maybe it was. Not technically, but they were all a reason.
We all know how to fake it.
We all know what we've done.
Jongup's mind flickered an image of him putting that knife under that table. His thoughts came back to the white board in front of him. A few sentences made out of scientific terms strung together, making no sense to Jongup's dented mind. Another image came. Both him and Junhong were laughing for no apparent reason on the floor of his basement, a plastic bag weighing about 5 grams still filled with white powder. Junhong took in some more. The still somewhat sober Jongup watched, a feeling of guilt twisting and bending deep in his stomach. His eyes took attention of the knife waiting under the table.
It won't be long.
Jongup's eyes opened. He was on the backseat of a car, his parents in the seats in front of him, piles of boxes and backs behind. They were moving. This was the reason. He will find a new life somewhere else, leaving Junhong. It was better that he was now six feet underground, rather than in that school, losing more blood.
Although it was ironic that Junhong died because of it - loss of blood. They took it as suicide, not questioning the high levels of cocaine in Junhong's body, seeing that Jongup's parents put money into pockets to let him go. But maybe Junhong was already dead. Jongup kept him alive. But it was no use anymore.
The car passed by the graveyard Junhong was now resting in. Jongup tried to catch sight of Junhong's headstone - he remembered it was somewhere near the gates - but the car passed by too fast. Maybe it was better that way. This will all be the past. It'll be an old story told by the elementary students to their new friends in high school. At one point it will all just be a story to scare them. A killer ironically getting killed by his friend who disappeared a week after he did. They say the friend comes back to the killer's graveyard at night. Do you dare make a visit?
But to Jongup, it was just a dream.
He looked to his side where his backpack laid, and unzipped the front flyer. He glanced at his parents - his mother was babbling something about the moving services, while his father was pretending to listen, his mind completely elsewhere - before taking out a plastic bag, still half filled with what killed Junhong. Jongup rolled down his window and held out the plastic at one corner. He watched the white powder float away in an uneven line, disappearing into the air. When the plastic was empty, he let it go and rolled the window back up, turning to the front. Time to move on from this nightmare.
So I did do a bit more research to reassure I was giving the right information. Apparently heroin is a bit too strong so I went with cocaine, since it looks the same so I don't have to change the descriptions. But I did have to add a bit of the after effects (increase of heart beat, etc but the illusions were right on! lucky me). I did read a fanfic bout Himchan and heroin though, and damn it's so scary. read it here because I love her descriptions. I tried being more descriptive but well idk. I'll try harder next time!!
Nadhrah's blog post was just aww btw :') nothing to say bout JB other than I got new t-shirts and a sweater!! so cute. I have no idea how to style it with a tudung though lol I guess I have to berjinak-jinak pakai tudung lilit-lilit tu (my Malay came out lol). and I had a nice swim at the hotel swimming pool... although I kinda wish I swam a bit more. it's just that I felt a little lonely. loved the exercise though. I can say that I suck at every sport there is out there other than swimming.
Well hope you liked the story! Tell me if I should put it somewhere (LJ, AFF, dA). I'm gonna post it on TSU and see the response before I post the rest. Thank you so much for following! I think this is gonna be the last fanfic for 2012. Too many other things to do >< Any other opinion is welcomed! Thanks again!