Sunday, January 13, 2013

what is this mood.

a) this fic. 

b) wow someone actually commented on a post on SHL. on blogspot. what a miracle.

c) those days when I think back about my fics and how I could've done better. remember when I wanted to fix Mask into a more descriptive story and talk more about how their friendship was? now I'm thinking about how I should've described what Junhong felt in WMBK. Like, when he was punched or kicked, it must;ve hurt, right? As if his jaw was going to break or as if his ribs were going to crack under those feet but it didn't. I only thought of this when I actually watched it going on myself in School 2013. Sure Junhong was numb about it but he was still human. He could still feel. Even more after he met Jongup, right? Jongup brought him back to Earth. He was someone with thoughts and emotions but was never given the opportunity to do so, or even found someone who cared enough for those thoughts or emotions to matter.

when reality gets boring, I go back to fiction. school, I hate you. fine that poem might be fun to do and it can improve my writing description wise, mostly on nature or surroundings basically. but no I don't wanna write down a lab report on my chemistry experiment and no I don't want to write an essay about immunity. makes me wonder if it would've been better if I went to art stream but.

Okay, now let's talk discrimination. (or let's continue procrastinating and leave homework for late nights)

I entered Art Club because I like art, and I had Nadhrah to back me up in case I wind up being in the shadows again. Ida entered because she had me. When we were choosing B.O.D's, there was an obvious discrimination towards the art stream. there were three (according to Fern's post I believe Iffah is now in science, right?) and the other two had each other to support so they went along with whatever post they were given. on the other hand, Ida wasn't one of them and she only had me and I was so stupid to not have noticed at that time.
Ida wanted to be treasurer. But so did Harveena. when it came to that point of writing down who it was gonna be, there was no voting or whatsoever. They just wrote up Harveena's name as treasurer and Ida as vice.

It's obviously discrimination. obviously. towards the art stream, obviously. even if it was Art Club.

okay so maybe we shouldn't judge it like that. just because it's Art Club doesn't mean it should be ruled by art students, right? I mean this is our opportunity as science students to show our inner creativity. also it could be easier to communicate since we're all in the same class. but there should be a level of respect there. here is where I'm gonna sound two -sided. I'm always the fence girl, aren't I? for one, I am a science student and I'm not even there for the right reasons. it's all in the case of discrimination.

have you guys ever heard of Radhii? who am I kidding right? she's the girl who got straight A's for PMR but still chose to be in art stream. but question is, why did she have to move all the way to SA to do that? because no one will judge her. well, that's my conclusion to it. maybe she came from a school where it didn't matter. maybe she just had family problems and had to move here. but if I was Radhii, or even anyone else who preferred the art stream over science but still had a higher achievement academic wise (if you were still offended let me just say I chose my words very carefully) moving to a different school where no one knew what you were like or who you were labelled as in lower secondary form seems like a good opportunity to live as you wished. even more, people will look up to you for going against the flow of society.
what the society wants is that everyone who has a higher intellectual skills to be great people like doctors or lawyers or engineers. what they don't count is talent. more often, they count the skill to study what comes to you.

so what I'm trying to say is, if I was given a carefree world where everyone lived in peace and there was no such thing as judging, discriminating, labelling, pressuring from parents and of such, then I would've easily went to the art stream. lol I was still considering it in form 2, actually. until my mom knocked some sense into me.

no, the art stream is not bad. my mom was in the art stream but she turned out great. but it was what the society labels the art stream as. the reason people end up in art stream in the first place is because they didn't have the requirements to be in science stream. to be in science stream you'd have to ace multiple subjects as it will be harder on you. yes, science is harder than arts but that doesn't necessarily makes it better. if you have the ability to achieve high scores on PMR subjects, then you can of course, achieve if not good, high scores in the science stream too. but if you can't even ace science, how do you expect to hold up subjects like biology and physics? I'm not gonna say add-maths because most people nowadays still learn add-maths no matter what their stream. it's sort of a forced subject, actually. it was technically, aliran kemanusiaan, which isn't art, it's humanities. I wonder how people concluded it to be 'art stream' in English honestly.

therefore, when you don't have the ability to do well in your exams, people immediately label you as failures. but hey, look at some of the people who chose to be in the art stream. like Ida. she did better in her PMR than Shahira and look who got into where.

they say that you should stick to science stream because if you were in science, you would be flexible and be able to go anywhere - even back to arts. but if you were in arts then you can't go back to science. who the heck says so? the last time I checked art students still have the subject 'Science' in their syllables. also, since when did science students learn how to sketch or colour paint or sow?
yet again, it goes back to society. the reason science students can be accepted in art-streamed majors in college or uni is because people look up to them. they think "he's a science student - he can study well. let's give it to him."

when I told Ika about how Thivyaa tagged everyone else other than Ida in a post on FB about the B.O.D meeting (B.O.D referring to the top 6 positions) she got angry and ranted about discrimination. she said those people shouldn't have done that and it was unfair that they treated Ida based on the stream. what my response was, you can't change the people. you have to change for them.

that's what everyone now actually is doing, but without even realizing it. when asked "why did you enter science stream when your interests are clearly more towards arts?" a person can simply say because if he changes his mind to go to science and not arts then he would be safe. but he can still do arts even if he did science in school. no. you're wasting your teenage years learning things that you know at that point of time that you won't be using in the future. just in case you change your mind? how likely is that to happen? if your parents tell you so? if your friends or everyone else ended up doing something great? then you're not being you. you're being what society wants you to be.

if someone asks you that question, the only smart answer is "because I'm living the life society wants kids like me to live." either that or you shut up and smile. people will know.

the reason I think this way is because I am no one. I'm just a sixteen year old, turning seventeen in about four months. I have no power. I have no influence. I don't have my people in school. I don't have readers or followers or people who look up to me. I cannot change the majority. I can only tell the minority what I think is right and how we would have to serve the majority, but still keep in mind of the truth, and be the silent smartasses we actually are.

on the next episode, I shall reveal to you how counselling teachers are actually hypocrites who tell us to follow our hearts and interest but in the end discriminates us all too! see you next time on How To Be A Fucking Genius Hipster!

Out.
P.S, now I silently regret telling Ika about the tagging thing on FB because it could've simply be because Thivyaa wasn't friends with Ida on FB. She had no reason to be.

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